About unruly teens and that mum at theatre

[DougJudysSisterTrudiesDog]

Name changed for this.

i took my DC and a friend to the theatre. The play is specifically geared for GCSE students, so basically everyone in the audience is 15/16, and every group must be accompanied by a parent.

The seat next to mine was empty. The next seat, and seats after that, had a group of teens that showed up with buckets of popcorn, pinched each other, playfought, talked and loudly munched non stop.

After 45 minutes, I couldn’t take it anymore. I leaned over the empty seat, gave the boy nearest to me a sharp tap on the shoulder (he was six feet tall so I’m guessing 16), and told him “Can you please stop talking? It’s really annoying”.

During the break, the mother came over to talk to me. I assumed she wanted to apologise. Wrong! She accused me of hitting her child, demanded I apologise, and said it was assault and if I ever did it again she would report me to the police. I said I did not hit her child, I tapped him on the shoulder, and she should have prevented her party from disrupting the performance long before I did so. I also told her it should be her boys apologising to me and others around us for ruining their evening. She kept repeating herself, so after a while, I said I thought the conversation was over.

Other parents also intervened: one dad said the boys hadn’t bothered him, and three other parents told the mother to drop it, that her children were very rude and that even if I hit the boy (I didn’t), that was justified by their behaviour and they would have done the same.

WIBU to tell the boy off? I don’t think I was. I think it’s possible my tap was sharper than I had wished, because he was leaning over the other side to chat to his friends, and I had to lean over the empty seat so it was a bit awkward. But I am 100% sure I did not hurt him, though I think I startled him. If I want to be charitable I would say the mum felt chastised about her parenting so she lashed out at me, and will give her head a wobble later. But as a regular theatre goer, I think I taught the boy a valuable life lesson.

AIBU?

In case this matters, I’ve never hit my DCs and I don’t agree with physical punishment or violence.

Racism. Assumptions. I used to get followed around shops because people assumed I was going to steal something.
Despite being the most placid, people pleasing kid.

Would you be posting all of this about any other minority group?

Goodness my (now ex)friend is the sort of mother who would’ve been thoroughly upset about you chastising her unruly son in a theatre. I know so many of them in fact. I don’t actually get why so many people these days consider themselves parents when they don’t actually do parenting!!

YANBU OP.

But you did say yourself that a tap on the shoulder warrants a punch, then cry racism when people worry about yo?

I think you did the right thing. I recently went to the theatre and sat behind a school/college trip and the kids talked and laughed genuinely the whole way through. I gave them a very stern shushing (did nothing) and would’ve tapped them if I needed to. In the end we changed seats in the interval because we couldn’t stand it and we would’ve spoken to the teacher but they were not sitting near the group. I just can’t imagine that you could hit him hard enough, while leaning over a seat, with presumably one finger for it to cause any pain. The mother sounds dramatic and ridiculous

Therein is the problem, people are violent.

If anyone is wondering why children behave so badly nowadays,, here is your answer. If I, and probably most of my generation, had behaved like that in public it would have resulted in being frog marched out by the scruff of my neck and possibly a thick ear to accompany it.
None of this "gentle parenting" bollocking. You did as you were told or else

I think you're mixing me up with someone else. I said no such thing.

@LakeTiticaca Gentle parenting still has consequences, you’re confusing it with zero parenting. I’m glad we don’t still live in a time when it’s ok to threaten children with violence

I put the rate of exclusions etc down to a racist education system that is set up to completely alienate and discriminate against gypsy children.

I was excluded from school because the teacher tried to force me to sit for a lesson about sex that my belief system did not allow me to sit through.
I was excluded from school for hitting a child who was bullying my younger sibling.

These to me are examples of being successful. Education is not.

I was excluded from school because the teacher tried to force me to sit for a lesson about sex that my belief system did not allow me to sit through.
I was excluded from school for hitting a child who was bullying my younger sibling.

These to me are examples of being successful. Education is not.

What hope of raising law abiding, productive and valuable citizens with a bar set so low.

Yes indeed what hope of raising productive citizens when they can be excluded from education so easily.

Yep. I was taken out of school at 13, sister at 12 and brother at 9! We're all successful, I'm now a lawyer (went back to uni), sibs are tattooists. My dad always said we didn't need school education as we'd find a way to succeed and we have!

This is really the last form of prejudice that seems acceptable.

Err... I wasn't talking to you.

I was replying to a specific post by someone else.

@Predictablenamechange1 This is making me genuinely sad for you and your siblings and all that you missed out on.

The fact you went back to university is admirable, but also contradicts your point about not needing education to be successful.

Wouldn’t have touched but where were the theatre staff? They should have intervened if they were as lairy as you have made out.

Me too! I keep my blood pressure down a lot of the time by realising I am old and won't have to deal with it for donkeys years

Yanbu If people aren't going to teach their children how to behave appropriately others will

I really think the stewards should do a better job of policing this kind of behaviour and asking audience members to be quiet or leave. It's not fair to expect other members of the audience to marshal each other like this; it basically puts you in an impossible situation.

They should but I think the problem is the noisy twats know there's not actually anything the staff can do about it. They can't physically throw them out.
I was in the cinema once and a big family of about 12 came in. All loudly talking and carrying alcohol etc. One child around 12 who looked embarrassed. Two of them started arguing just as the film was starting. They were full on shouting at each other over the start of the movie. Two staff members came in and said they needed to be quiet or leave. The people just replied "yeah try and make me." In the end the film was stopped and we were all told to leave. We just went and got a refund and went home. No idea what happened with the family. They were still shouting and swearing telling the staff to put the film back on. I don't know how that would work in a theatre.

I wonder if this was the performance my DD went to. (The Scottish play??) She mentioned something happening which was funny

How is that a low bar? Having strong morals, traditional values and not tolerating bullying?

And I'm a law abiding citizen. I'm productive, have children, attend church. Oh and I pay tax so I suppose that makes me valuable too.

Your society is brainwashed to think that your (appalling and failing) education system is the only route to success. It very much isn't.

Unfortunately we are now living in a time where the children are the ones threatening violence, and often carrying it out.
So what do you suggest to stop it?

Presumably OP tapped him because otherwise she would have had to raise her voice which would have disturbed the audience further.

And females raising their voice is very much frowned upon in our society

What belief system doesn't allow sex education?