Does this sound aggressive to you?

[queensonia]

I am on friendly terms with a neighbour. A couple of weeks ago her cat went missing and I promised to look out for him. I hadn’t heard from her for a while so I texted her: “Any news of Fluffy??” She replied. “Why do you always use so many question marks??????! Not sure if you’re aware but it comes across as aggressive”.
I apologised for accidentally offending her but WTF? Would anyone else find two question marks aggressive? I know Gen Z get in a twist about misuse of emojis but this woman is 60!

It does sound a bit demanding! Tone is hard to convey in text.

Fuck her and her cat. You only asked.

She sounds pretty unhinged and she can fuck off - avoid from now on. She was the aggressive one.

Blimey she’s hard work. I’d wouldn’t bother with her

OMG I'm so with her on this! 🤣

I hate it. One of the admins in my local FB group does this and it does look aggressive.

I wouldn't have said anything if I was your neighbour though.

Btw, I doubt she's 'offended', probably more irritated.

At least you didn't write it ALL IN CAPITALS!!!!!!!!!!!😂

Perhaps she's having a bad day. I'd see how she is the next time you see her.

No, a bad day doesn’t excuse that. It’s a clear sign she’s a nightmare to be avoided.

“Any news of Fluffy??”

Actually, I wonder if that came across to her as though you were annoyed at the lack of update?

Bonkers. Ignore. (But keep looking for the cat because the cat wasn't rude and cant help if its owner is weird)

Yes...I do use multiple question marks when trying to convey a more demanding or sceptical tone...(for instance when texting my kids about who ate my chocolate bar I was saving!)
So yes it does come across as slightly "aggressive"

Multiple question marks, to me, reads like the sender is demanding an urgent response. Or like they've asked me the question already before and are annoyed at having to chase.

However, I think I possess enough common sense to realise that's not the intention of everyone who does it, and I wouldn't be a dick to someone who was kindly enquiring after my lost pet. She sounds unpleasant.

In this context, she should STFU.

But I have Gen Z kids.

Text 1:
mum whats for dinner (sic)

Text 2: (if I don’t reply in a nano second)
????????????

It’s definitely a chase if not aggressive thing to many. And yeah, both of those texts get them told off 🤣

Maybe the cat left because she was a nut

No need to bring the cat into it!

How bizarre.
I think you should text back saying 'yes, I meant it aggressively'

I love this! 😂

I actually used two question marks to try and show how concerned I was about her lost cat. 🐱

Basically yes, older people often add far too much punctuation on texts/ WhatsApp. Two question marks comes across accusatory/ demanding. Try to just use one next time.

Fluffy has run away from the madness.

Wow. There’s someone looking for trouble where there is none.

I’d go with the old - but useful - phrase “don’t trouble trouble till trouble troubles you!”

Context is everything. Even if it did come across as.. enthusiastic.. you were clearly being thoughtful and not aggressive. Weird of her to take her stress out on a neighbour

With the double question mark, I read that your intention as "why haven't you updated me on this, damn it" rather than "I am worried on your behalf."

I can understand why your neighbour found that rude/aggressive. However, I doubt I'd have challenged you on it, personally.

But how is fluffy???!

Yes, I absolutely agree with her and is a pet hate of mine. It comes across as demanding or aggressive or as if it requires an urgent response. It does not come across as if you are showing concern. I hate overuse of question marks or exclamation marks. In the vast majority of cases they are unnecessary and sometimes inappropriate and don't add anything that a singular one doesn't.