Does this sound aggressive to you?

[queensonia]

I am on friendly terms with a neighbour. A couple of weeks ago her cat went missing and I promised to look out for him. I hadn’t heard from her for a while so I texted her: “Any news of Fluffy??” She replied. “Why do you always use so many question marks??????! Not sure if you’re aware but it comes across as aggressive”.
I apologised for accidentally offending her but WTF? Would anyone else find two question marks aggressive? I know Gen Z get in a twist about misuse of emojis but this woman is 60!

That's how I read it too, OP. Two question marks shows concern in my opinion. I'm in my 30s

Something else such as ‘Did you leave your gate open?????????’ would sound aggressive but you asked about her cat?!?!?!?😉 (definitely can’t ask after someone’s cat aggressively!)

Slightly unrelated but can any gen Zers explain to me what’s wrong with a thumbs up emoji?

Nah she's being overly touchy here.

'Any news of Fluffy??' says 'I actually care about this not just asking to be nice'.

Whereas:

'Any news of Fluffy'

"??"

Is 'answer me now damn you!'

(I answer live chat messages at work. People who send me messages and then follow up with ? or ?? within a minute of sending will find their message ends up answered as close to our 1 hour turn response time as I dare push it!)

I'd ignore it and don't ask her again.

lol

It’s the 2020s equivalent of using “Kind Regards” as an email sign off.

I don't like multiple ????? as there's no need for them.

I don't read it as agressive though. I read it as similar to a toddler's version of why.

You know when you tell them they can't go outside because it's rain and it's followed up with why? Why? Why?? WHY???? WHHHHHYYYYYYY?

Eek I really don’t like when people put more than one ?
I feel it’s rude and demanding 🙈

Ffs some people would win a gold medal at the Offended Olympics.
Maybe the cat is taking a break from all the aggro.

You don't really need a rule book, because there is already a rule. A question requires one question mark. More than one is not aggressive, it signifies nothing, it is simply incorrect.

But obviously I'm much more interested in Fluffy's well being. (????????!!!!!!:;;;;;,,,,<<<<<<///)

I want to know where Fluffy is at.

It comes across to me like concern. She's probably stressed and stringing out.

“Any news on fluffy??” - absolutely fine
”WTF Rita, any news on fluffy??” - OTT
I can’t imagine having a go at someone who was actually enquiring after the welfare of my cat. Fluffy has run for the actual hills to get away from the madness.

😂 60, really? I was gonna say she's a bloody irritating snowflake (sorry to all ❄️ ❄️).
Then she's just trying for an argument over something very silly. Just add more question ❓❓
next time, if there is one.

Don't use double question marks - it creates confusion!??!

It's not you, it's your neighbour. Hope Fluffy is safely in the cat refuge. I like the thumbs up as a response to crazy messages, like this one

^Totally this!

You were showing genuine concern and didn't deserve the rollicking you got!

I always read multiple question marks as the equivalent of someone saying it with an impatient intensity - the more question marks the more demanding and curt the tone.

I dont mind a ? but not loads.
But the praying hands emoji gives me the fucking rage for some reason.
Its my problem no one elses.
I have told people (family and friends) if you send that stupid emoji you will get bad luck.

I think this is one of those situations (of which there are many) in which nobody is in the wrong.

You meant no harm, you were just emphasising curiousity/concern with your use of ??

But I see your neighbour's point - it reads to me as excessively emphatic/demanding.

Nobody is in the wrong. It's just a miscommunication. I see why you might be offended, OP, I would be too, but if you can, try to reply gently, explaining you meant no harm, as that would lead to greater amity in future.....

Yeah aggressive

So, any news on Fluffy?

See, like that :)

Was going to say the same thing...

Informal written communication can so easily be misconstrued. It's just a misunderstanding. Reassure the neighbour that it wasn't meant like that and ask again about the cat. If you're not flustered by it she'll probably feel bad for snapping at you and all will be well again.