Our neighbour (in the flat below) has asked we stop talking at 9:45pm at night?

[DoingTheMumThing101]

We live in a shared townhouse and the couple downstairs have asked that my partner & I stop talking at 9:45 pm in the evening because they can hear us? We have only been living here for 1 week and get the kids to bed early, we are then woken up by them below speaking at 6am. AIBU?

I love you! Well done. People often hate confrontation.

Years ago I lived in shared townhouse. We had NDN's who apparently were ASBO types with a huge Rottweiler. Poor dog was old and arthritic and used to be let out into the garden late at night especially when they had visitors who'd stay and drink (never loud), then never got let back in and used to howl and bark. Our landlady/lord (a couple) never wanted to complain. They were scared of the NDNs. I felt sorry for the dog to be honest, not it's fault it's owners weren't letting it back in or didn't have a dog door fitted or a kennel for it to lie in.

One morning after being kept awake most of the night again (earplugs helped but didn't completely resolve the issue) I managed to find details (landlady had left them lying around in the kitchen) of the landlord's of NDNs. I rang them, explained the query, said I wasn't the landlady but a tenant/lodger in a house share. They told me the NDNs were in the process of being evicted but it would take a while. I told my landlady who was furious I'd rang them, but I told her I wanted to know what happened as I paid her rent and it was disrupting my sleep. I actually moved out myself 2-3 months later as I'd found another property to share but gave proper notice.

My landlady had no intention though or if she did have, she was stalling on it, of doing anything about the issue.

On a practical note I would stick some kind of battery nightlight in the bathroom to use overnight as I would be woken by a fan going off too. In hotel bedrooms I use the torch on my phone!

Yes @DoingTheMumThing101 you should do this , but make sure your msg alert tone plays Dog Barking / Queens We will rock you /police / fire engine sounds.

😂

Thanks, but that flat was years ago, we have long moved on, Cluelessaf

The bathroom was an internal bathroom, with no window and had a vent built in to the outside wall in a boxed in space over our bed. So the light was used all day round for all bathroom visits: and he complained about them all. A nightlight would have been a suboptimal solution for showers and baths, plus the fan was needed for air clearance. Oddly enough taking responsibility for insulation and the carpets seemed to solve his problem better than ranting at us and previous tenants had.

East solution to this. Stop talking, start shagging, at 9.45pm on the dot.

This is a preposterous joke thread, surely?

Ask them to stop talking at 6am then. Seriously, the fact you've only been there a week when the unreasonable demands have already started suggests to me that they have had issues with the previous residents and think that by laying the law down the minute you move in, they can prevent a repeat of the previous issues. A couple of obvious problems with that, firstly you aren't the previous residents and secondly it is not unreasonable to talk in your own property.

A word of warning, I've seen this before and complaints this early on usually progress into long running disputes and the neighbour ends up being the unreasonable one who after having a previous bad experience is so afraid of repeat problems that they become the problem themselves. If that's the case then expect complaints regularly about silly trivial things as they try to force you to live in complete silence tip toeing around them. Don't be surprised if their behaviour descends into harassment if they can't get you to do what they want.

Unfortunately if you're going to live in a shared building you have to expect to hear other people living a normal life.

They need to be told to, as my dear old Nan would say, 'Bobby off!'.

They are being unreasonable. I would ask if you have a fireplace in your home though? I live in a four in a block and have one of the upper flats. The flue runs from the chimney on the roof straight down to the ground floor in our building. As a result we can here our downstairs neighbours talking (mostly indistinctly) whenever we are both in our living rooms but if they are drinking we can hear whole conversations.

I have something like that too! I was actually keenly interested in their private tete a tetes lol (and my DH wasn't interested but was subject to every distinct word somehow being amplified in our flat anyway) until one day I realised it probably goes both ways too...

Agree keep a diary

Did they suggest that you communicate via mime instead?

Not a chance in the world lol me and my bf sometimes stay up watching Films/ series while ours son is in bed sometimes until 1 am it’s some of our only alone time you pay your rent you can do what the hell you like who are they to set demands ok within reason but not allowed to talk I would laugh and walk away or just outright blank them

Stop talking at 9.45pm as that's when you start to listen to your thrash metal, do the hoovering and let the kids do their violin/recorder/drum practice instead.

Absolutely I would stop talking at 9.45 providing they don't start talking until 8am 😁

If I sounded a car reversing horn at 945pm it would be annoying. If I did at 6am it would be an offence, unless the law has changed since I took my driving test.

My sympathy for your neighbours went when you noted they get up at 6am and are not silent.

I would tell them if they want you to stop speaking after 9.45 you hope they apply the same rule to them before a time of your choosing.

So the logical thing would be to see how both properties can mitigate the problem which is obviously shared. Do you both own or does one rent. Their request is not unreasonable albeit wording could be better. If you are renting, then speak to the Landlord. If you have just bought then I would go back to your solicitor for a track record on complaints from neighbours.

I am the clumsiest person and probably have undiagnosed ADHD. Luckily noone where we are now complains my wife is autistic and she a disc condition and osteoarthritis and her physio suggested she's dyspraxic too. Last time she tried to have a reorganise she broke two toes!

That would have been met with a firm "bugger off" from me. 🙄

Your neighbours sound like arses.

I love La Mariposa's idea!!! Give them something to complain about!

I think you need to be more conscious of the noise you’re making above them. I live in a ground floor flat neighbours above are a nightmare with noise including child running around stomping on the living room. I expect by 10pm you should try and keep noise levels down isn’t that ‘down time’ for a family with work school/nursery etc. 6am is completely normal to expect families to be awake.

@Hmm1234

There's a world of difference between Kids stomping on floor running around etc,

What a ridiculous stupid Comparison to make, 🙄

Comparing that to unreasonable demand of @DoingTheMumThing101 next door neighbour,!

Talking comes under normal every day sounds,
Such as flushing the toilet etc,

Sounds like kind of unreasonable next neighbours and such thin walls in accommodation in which if someone breaks 🤔 wind farts,🤢☠️
(every day noise),
it would get heard of or they would Complain and knock on the wall...

Erm I believe they are SHOUTING near 10pm not talking like OP claims. You need to stop being ridiculous or are you another noisy bad neighbour :)

Suggest they look for a reasonably priced bungalow far from civilization.