Our neighbour (in the flat below) has asked we stop talking at 9:45pm at night?

[DoingTheMumThing101]

We live in a shared townhouse and the couple downstairs have asked that my partner & I stop talking at 9:45 pm in the evening because they can hear us? We have only been living here for 1 week and get the kids to bed early, we are then woken up by them below speaking at 6am. AIBU?

😂

Are you Brian Blessed?

🤣🤣

Just say "this clearly isn't working as you're disturbing us at 6am as well and we aren't up until 8am. Let's see if we can fix the sound insulation issue."

Do you own or rent?

To be fair, whilst I would never ask them to stop talking. I can hear every word next door say in their living room, I know all sorts of things they wouldn't want me to know, I assume the can hear us to so we only have private conversations on the other side of the house.

I am indeed taking the piss.

That literally happened to me!
First it was things like please can you not put the washing on past 9pm -bit awkward as that’s when I was getting home from work but did it. Then it was please can you not walk around in shoes it’s noisy, ok fair enough easy enough to stop that. Then it was a time limit for hoovering. But when they asked if I could stop having a bath in the evening because the sound of the water letting out was disturbing them, I finally told them to consider maybe flat living wasn’t for them.

Please take it quietly and only between the hours of 9am and 11am.

This thread is too noisy please stop contributing

I have read so many noisy neighbour threads on MN that I would consider looking for somewhere new already. It’s not reasonable for either of you to not talk at a normal volume during awake hours. They are kept awake by you, you are kept awake by them, you have kids which the neighbours will say stomp and then you’ll need to buy rugs and stop your kids walking about and on it’ll go. Sorry to catastrophise but if they can’t stand it after one week how will they be after a few months

Yes! Usual antisocial noise hours are 11pm - 7am so they are actually the ones infringing!

I’m afraid that I would have laughed in their face. Loudly, naturally.

Sing and dance it instead.

I mean, stranger things have been said...

Shit thru their letterbox.

Wont cure their crazy attitude, but will allow them to engage in something else other than dictating speaking times to you!

I would say fine as long as you don't talk in the morning until after 9 oclock.

Having lived in a flat conversion with no sound insulation, the sound you get from upstairs is extreme, so I do get their frustration. But their request is mental. Just ignore them - or make the same request for 6am in the morning!

Unless there is going to be a drip feed that you are both Shakespearean actors practicing projecting to the back of the theatre, this is something they will just have to live with (just as you will have to live with them getting up at 6).

If you were constantly noisy or were having loud conversations at 3 a.m. I might feel differently but normal conversation is just something that happens in flats.

@DoingTheMumThing101 the answer would only be ‘yes’ if they agree to be quiet in the morning as being considerate works both ways 😬. 2145 is a bit earlier than most people go to bed and 0600 is earlier than a lot of people get up. I’d try to be mindful but I’d expect to be able to talk. Maybe you can work out a compromise that suits you both, otherwise they will need to try earplugs or maybe some soft furnishings to absorb sound etc.

If you stop talking at 9.45pm, they next thing they'll do is tell you you're breathing too loud.

They’re mad, but if you can hear them too the transference must be terrible. Is there actually both a floor and a ceiling?

Unless insulation gets sorted won’t they be back asking you not to boil the kettle, brush your teeth or fart either?

Could you learn sign language 🤔??

....only kidding! Jesus..your neighbours are batshit crazy 🤪

Nope! If they can’t cope with normal noise then living in a shared building is not for them, perhaps they’d be more suited to living rurally?

Start as you mean to go on.....

No!!!

CFS

This brought back some hilarious memories. I rented a cheap flat with paper thing walls with an ex as our first place together. Very excited at move in. The downstairs neighbours complained at our moving in noises. Spoke with us and presented us with a list of things we were officially not allowed to do after 10pm which including 'dropping things' and having a bath. Apparently it was illegal. They then rounded the conversation off with 'we do OWN our flat you know' in a very posh voice. Our solution was to lie on the floor and pretend we were having some rather loud sex involving banging the floor and shouting comments about some really gross sex acts. They never spoke to us again. Problem solved. Maybe not with kids downstairs though but really this is insane. Some people are not cut out for flat living. That's their issue not yours. I think roughly 11pm is a cut off for noisy activity but not to the degree of not talking.