Re my parents and childcare

[Theroadnottravelled]

I think I’m going to get blasted for this but my lovely parents are being frustrating imo. Me and DH moved from London to the south coast to be near them. We have 2 girls, 2 and 4. Both in nursery 4 days a week as we both work FT. My parents do a day for us, have done for a year. They offered and I’d never expect more. I am grateful. My dad has now said it’s too tiring for them to do all day so will do half. So we have no cover and can’t really afford more nursery. We get by but I felt that as there are two of them, almost 70 but very fit, play golf most weeks and are very active that it’s disappointing they won’t do the whole day once a week plus DD1 goes to school in sept.

My point was the OP didn't move because they were offered free childcare, the childcare was only offered the day before they moved. They were ALREADY moving.

EVERYONE needs help sometimes!. Therebis nothing wrong with asking your parents for help for a short period!

My point is that you're incorrect.

How?

It really doesn't matter when the OP's parents offered childcare. Things have changed and after making good on their offer for a full year, they don't feel capable of managing it anymore. So OP needs a plan B.

There's been numerous posts about this already. The offer wasn't made on the day before OP moved. The offer of the day of childcare was made before the OP moved. It's a misunderstanding due to the way the post was worded.

I think I must be your mother, you have just described me! I’m 71 and I don’t know anyone my age who doesn’t have some sort of health issue. It comes on fast when you get into late 60’s. Someone up thread said that 70 year olds stay healthy until issues start in their 80’s- sorry but you’re out by a decade. Often we choose not to share issues with adult children as they have enough to worry about. We all know some people who are amazingly fit but that’s the exception really. I’m able to do lengthy walks and stay active but physically I struggle with things that perhaps my adult children don’t think of- getting a toddler into a pushchair or car seat when they’re doing the back arch is not easy with arthritic hands. And carrying a toddler up/downstairs can begin to verge on the dangerous. After a full day with grandchildren I definitely have to have a recovery day. I’m happy to do babysitting, helping out in school holidays, emergency cover and I adore my grandchildren but I’m aware of my limitations.
As for the OP, I think that her parents have given her a whole year so some posters are not being reasonable here. OP, it’s disappointing for you but you will find a way to rethink, and you may find that they have very good (health) reasons for doing less childcare. You do sound quite cold towards them.

I wonder if the younger child has stopped daytime sleeping and that is contributing to their inability to cope. 2&4 is pretty full on although lovely in lots of ways,could you ease the burden in anyway, by enroling them in an activity on that day ?

I work in early childhood and have done for years now, so honestly not surprised when I hear about grandparents wanting to pull the plug on the whole thing. We have a few grandparents who do drop offs and pick ups as parents work.

I'm with you now. But reading the OPs post back she doesn't clarify how it's meant. She doesn't say the offer was made therefore we chose to move. Or she doesn't confirm the offer was the day before. So I suppose we will never know.

Coming from you 🤣

@Theroadnottravelled Can you tell us what you meant with:

My parents did offer the day before we moved, yes.

Lots of arguments on here as to the meaning. Did they offer a day before you decided to move at all, and that was totally or partly why you moved, or did they only offer the day for watching the kids, the day before you moved?

It can actually be read either way!!

this

Pot meet kettle.

How original and droll.

The idea of looking after kids this age and the reality can be two very different things. They will be a handful. So I’m sure the parents had the best of intentions, but they are now struggling and that’s fine, the op needs to say thank you very much for what you’ve done for the last year , and find child care foe her kids and for the full day as they are clearly just doing the half day as they feel they should.

jusg as they offered and did it for a year, doesn’t mean they can never back out and she’s entitled. If they now find it too much, they should not be forced, or made to feel shit about it.