To be sick of the breast is best brigade?

[Bex5490]

Currently sat in a maternity waiting room, waiting to be told that I have a condition which I’ll need to take another round of antibiotics for. Which as I’m breastfeeding will probably give my 1 month old baby ANOTHER round of visibly uncomfortable oral thrush.

There is a video on the TV screen about how everyone should breastfeed playing on loop and what a bloody wonderful thing it is…

With my last baby I had such bad mastitis and suffered through until it was unbearable. The only advice my midwife ever offers now or offered then was keep going with the breastfeeding because…breast is best.

One of my friends had a low milk supply and her baby screamed day and night almost giving her a nervous breakdown until she reluctantly gave in and guiltily offered the baby a bottle.

I know I don’t want to keep giving my baby thrush through the antibiotics or pump all day for a smidgen of milk…so I’m going to switch to formula but something inside still feels guilty and like I’m not doing right by my baby because of the 9 months of people chiming on about how…breast is best.

For the sake of a mother’s mental health surely the message should be a bit more nuanced…

OK - Probably hormonal and living on chunks of 2 hr naps. Rant over!

@ShirleyPhallus · Today 15:32

Women should make an informed choice that’s right for them, their baby and their circumstances. It’s not really anyone else’s business what they do.

However, scientifically, breastfeeding IS better than formula and it would be remiss not to mention this. It isn’t a slight against anyone to mention this scientific fact.

Agree with @BigAnne too. There are health benefits for the mother. And like a pp said earlier, it's so much easier to breastfeed than bottle feed. No faffing about for ages sterilising bottles, and making up formula, and having to lug it about with you everywhere. And it's FREE!!!

As I said earlier, I can't fathom why women don't at least TRY to breastfeed. 'Because we don't want to' seems to be the only 'answer' some people have given. I still don't 'get' why. Someone said 'because embarrassment.' You don't have to do it in front of people! Plenty of places have nursing stations and private rooms you can go in.

Also as a pp said LOL at a poster for mocking her friend for posting breastfeeding pictures on facebook, then having the audacity to complain about people berating women who don't even TRY to breastfeed. Yes, I know some women have tried and can't, but to not even TRY just seems odd to me.

This is 100% me lol. Breast is best for me after the first couple of months because I’m lazy and I hate washing up. It’s such a personal choice

You don’t have to “fathom” it. It is absolutely nothing to do with you. Other mums are not answerable to you and do not owe you an explanation.

You can't fathom why a woman makes a decision about her own body and her own child?

Breast milk is a UPF too if the mum easts UPFs.

And let’s face it, you’ll be hard pushed to find someone who doesn’t eat biscuits, crisps, flavoured yoghurt, squash, chocolate, fizzy drinks, fruit juice, ice cream, shop bought puddings, breakfast cereals, jam, coffee syrups, bread, croissants, bacon, pasta or the occasional Big Mac. All UPFs and all part of most people’s diets.

In an ideal world breast is best but life often isn’t ideal. I ff my 2. No regrets as it suited me and my circumstances better at the time

YANBU

I was glad I was older when I had my child as I was much more confident in telling them all I wasn’t breastfeeding. Had a lovely time bottle feeding, and meant I wasn’t stressed. Women should be left alone to do what’s right for them.

Ffs just feed the baby - with whatever you can. Breast, formula - just make sure the baby is fed - stop letting people influence you.

Interestingly research links - breastfeeding - to less uptake of UPF when you are older..

So BF babies are more likely to eat least UPF..

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10989181/

I'm not convinced that breastmilk is made up of what the mum eats.. this site explains it better than I will be able to:

https://laleche.org.uk/breastfeeding-and-a-mothers-diet-myths-and-facts/

I expect they have their reasons, like sharing night feeds or having to go back to work. You wouldn't do it 'just because', would you? Nobody with access to a free resource says 'I know, I'm going to replace it with an artificial alternative which is expensive and slightly inconvenient'. So they'll have reasons, but they won't all be the same.

The truth is that it makes no difference, so stop pressuring other women.

Its like a cult this breast is best thing

My baby is currently on their second round of antibiotics at 13 weeks old for a chest infection.

She is exclusively breastfed. She also have cows milk allergy and likely egg allergy so no dairy/eggs for me.

I am stopping breastfeeding as of today. It’s nowhere near as easy as FF for me.

Here’s why breast ISNT best for me:

Ive had to cut dairy out of my diet and eggs which is a major adjustment as dairy is in most things.
I can’t take important medications due to BF resulting in me being on several types of blood pressure medications as I can’t take the 1 single pill I need due to BG.

I couldn’t take the pain relief I required when I was in agony with a back issue which hindered my mobility so I was hobbling around with a baby and toddler on only paracetamol unable to lift my toddler up or go anywhere.

There is no schedule/routine which is fine if you have all day and night to BF with no other commitments but my other dc was 21 months when baby was born and needs constant care too. I can’t resign myself to breastfeeding on the sofa watching boxsets all day/nights when they want to cluster feed.

And most importantly I am EXHAUSTED and need a break but I can’t because I get engorged and due to an oversupply I can’t pump. Which on that note, pumping in itself is a chore. It’s not exactly a ‘break’ away for a few hours when you gotta carry around a breast pump/equipment and then find somewhere to stop and pump.

Ive found with breastfeeding your overall life revolves around breastfeeding. Making sure there is enough stored milk and sterile bottles, then packing pumps etc all just to go out for a few hours.
Then watching what you consume if your baby acts fussy to make sure you don’t consume that again. Having time for cluster feeding whilst also being super busy with the baby itself and other dc if you have them, housework, getting out etc.

So no breast certainly isn’t best for me. My dc has still been poorly, i am way more exhausted, my diet is limited, my medications are messed up and my body is fucked from being drained 24/7.
I am so excited to stop!

I had low milk supply with DD1 so formula fed. DD2 I did a combination as she was a hungry baby. DS they really pushed me to breastfeed because he was premature but poor little boy couldn't suck properly. Hospital insisted I kept trying after we were discharged and wound up back in hospital a week later as he'd lost so much weight. Formula fed after that and he gained weight quickly.
I know breast is best but I think it's wrong to push a mum.who is clearly struggling. Surely fed is best.

I had a ridiculously easy time breastfeeding mine, we were very lucky and I was able to EBF without issue and no need of support.

I still wouldn't describe the first 6-8 weeks, and particularly the first ten days, as anything like easy. Nor would any of my many friends who breastfed. Faffing with a steriliser takes much less time than cluster feeding.

And as I have often seen people say - it's only free if you don't place any value on women's time.

You don't need to fathom other people's reasoning, just respect that it's up to each individual woman how she uses her own body.

I used to hate that message as a FF mum. With DD I had no choice, I wasn't well enough when she was born and was on medication that wasn't compatible with breastfeeding. With DS I really wanted to try but after another EMCS and hours spent in tears trying to express colostrum a lovely midwife sat with me, talked it through and agreed that fed is best and to give up trying to express as the toll on me wasn't worth it. She saved my sanity that day and I will be forever grateful to her for not making me feel guilty.

It's not free - most people spend on bras, clothes, pumps, breast pads, storage bags, bottles, teats, lactation consultants etc etc.

It may well work out more expensive over the first 2 or 3 months.

The link between breastfeeding and eating upf later in life is most likely socio economic. Having the time, energy and money to breastfeed is something more likely to be available to middle class people who are also more likely to have the time, money and energy to buy and cook healthy food

People choose to do things that aren't the "best" all the time. Hands up everyone who lets their under 2s look at a screen or eat refined sugar (both advised against by the NHS).

I breastfed 2 babies but both eat sugar and watch screens and I actually think FF but no screens or sugar would be far more beneficial. The screen time has a decent amount of evidence. More than BF I think.

It's not free - most people spend on bras, clothes, pumps, breast pads, storage bags, bottles, teats, lactation consultants etc etc.

I didn't spend on storage bags, breast pads, and pumps, and why the F would I spend on bottles and teats if I breastfeed? Never known anyone pay for a 'lactation consultant.' WTAF?

Also, everyone spends on clothes and bras. You're literally just reaching now mate.

I haven't found this at all. Everyone around me is "Fed is best", and I was the only one in my NCT group exclusively breastfeeding and extended breastfeeding.

It's factually true that breastfeeding does offer benefits that formula feeding cannot. But I don't think anyone needs to feel guilty if they cannot breastfeed for some reason.

I could not give a shiny shit what other women do with their breasts and it’s mind-boggling to me to see a poster who feels she’s needs to ‘fathom’ why a woman makes a different choice. Imagine having so little to think of that this could occupy your mind.

As I'm sure you're aware, you make a choice with breastfeeding:

Either feed solely from the breast, but then you have to do every feed 24/7 and so you can't have a night out or opt out when sick.

Or pump and feed the odd bottle of expressed milk - necessitating a pump, storage bags, bottles and teats.

If you didn't need breast pads, lucky you, I don't know a single woman who didn't need them in the early days and many need them for as long as they're feeding.

Breastfeeding clothes are a personal choice, but I found them very useful and much more comfy than wearing a vest top under my normal clothes.

And finally, as discussed repeatedly on this thread, support for establishing breastfeeding is absolutely shocking, so yes, many women pay for the services of a lactation consultant (and for tongue tie assessments and fixes) as the NHS doesn't provide.

Fed is best,

That's all I have to say on it! I'm sorry you're feeling unecessary pressure ❤️

The hospital breastfeeding consultant told me to give up. Csec so milk didn't come through. It was over 24 hours, baby was shaking and needed milk. I had to give them permission to use formula. I planned to go back to it but I never produced milk. Breast was my plan just like natural birth but things don't always go to plan. Within a few weeks the failure feeling passed, too much else going on to think about it and certainly as the years rolled it was never thought of again. Parents are just heavily judged on everything, you can never please everyone

I have known people who have 'home cooked from scratch' .. and stopped when their 'income went up and their time went down..' so super high paid job - lots more 'ready meals/takeaways' as less time.. Although I do hear you!