MIL annoyed Dh told family we're expecting

[Foood]

Dh and I went to see his auntie, cousin and nephew and broke the news that we're expecting a baby and it was very lovely and they are very excited for us.

We then went to see MIL and FIL and mentioned we'd told the family and that they are happy for us and she flipped.

She shouted that she wanted to tell them and that its up to her to tell them we're expecting and it was awful of us to do so.

Dh argued that its his baby and up to him who and when he tells them, she then said that we're selfish and don't care about her..

Are we being unreasonable here for wanting to tell people ourselves?

I think you know you are not!

Is she usually hard work?

She sounds like a nightmare. It's your baby (and your husbands) so of course you can tell who you want. Your husband needs to clamp down on this shit now before she tries to take over your pregnancy, your birth and your baby!!

No. She’s bonkers - that’s very odd behaviour. I’d be very circumspect in terms of how you navigate things from this moment on.

I would go very very very low contact with her.

Good luck when the baby arrives, she’s going to be a nightmare.

Oh god, another batshit MIL. Good luck over the next few months (years...)!

Of course you’re not unreasonable-she sounds bonkers.

Of course yanbu. This seems an absurd reaction on her part.
Does she often go bonkers over stupid things?

She’s batshit. Of course it’s up to you to tell who you want.

I think you need to start laying some very firm boundaries before baby comes!

Yep. You and your DH are going to have to start setting boundaries with her. I mean, normally this advice is about naughty children but in your case it's starting a bit earlier!

YANBU. You have one of those weirdly entitled grannies on your hands. Take it as a warning.

Do not share any medical details with her because she will share all the gory details. Do not tell her your due date because she will want to be in the room. Do not tell her which hospital or she'll turn up uninvited. Do not share baby names until the name is registered, she will try to emotionally blackmail you in to using what she wants.

Now is the time for you and your dh to form a tight-knit family of 2, soon to be 3.

Congratulations. I hope it all goes well.

This is an opportunity to agree how you are going to deal with this.

having observed this type of behaviour, it’s the people with form boundaries who get the easiest ride for the crazies.

so don’t over explain, never apologise for reasonable behaviour. Saying once, firmly, of course we shared our news don’t be ridiculous. Then every time it is raised ‘you know out position, we aren’t discussing this further’.

she wants to make you feel guilty, she wants to be the centre of attention.

good luck - this will get worse!

This

She's given you warning of the type of grandparent she will be. Set your boundaries now, how you will deal with her & that your dh will speak to her if she doesn't respect your wishes.

She's being ridiculous. Your child, you decide who to tell and when.

YANBU. This reflects your changing relationship with MIL as you become adults and parents.

She is used to being the adult and all communication going through her.

Of course now you are perfectly capable of having relationships independently with your aunts and cousins that don't involve her at all.

In MIL's mind you are still children and this has come as a shock.

She’s literally got this the wrong way round. It’s up to YOU to tell anyone and everyone you please. It’s up to HER to be happy for you and supportive. Silly Billy.

That's batshit. Sounds like she has some sort of matriarch complex going on.

Ridiculous. Hope your husband is sticking up for you?

No need to go low contact like others have suggested 😂. Your child will value a special relationship with grandparents even if the adults don't get on so well.

Buckle up, she’s going to get way worse once baby arrives….

This.

YANBU it's not her need to share and you did nothing wrong. I'd take this as a sign of things to come and keep her at a distance if I were you.

Unbelievable!

YANBU and good luck! She sounds....interesting.

Good lord, I think you’re well aware that this is a very odd response and I’m glad your DH stuck to his guns and didn’t indulge such nonsense.
Does not bode well for future interactions…