MIL annoyed Dh told family we're expecting

[Foood]

Dh and I went to see his auntie, cousin and nephew and broke the news that we're expecting a baby and it was very lovely and they are very excited for us.

We then went to see MIL and FIL and mentioned we'd told the family and that they are happy for us and she flipped.

She shouted that she wanted to tell them and that its up to her to tell them we're expecting and it was awful of us to do so.

Dh argued that its his baby and up to him who and when he tells them, she then said that we're selfish and don't care about her..

Are we being unreasonable here for wanting to tell people ourselves?

Oh God! I got into a row with my sister over her one and only grandchild's birth. Our mother was dying at the time and my sister was on the other side of the country to help her daughter. My niece's husband, (father of the baby) had announced the birth on FB so loads of friends knew. Mum was fretting about Granddaughter and baby so I told her she had been safely delivered and that she now had a great grandson. Sister hit the roof. It was HER grandchild not mine and I had no right etc. etc. Such people are so toxic! They like to think they own other people!

This. She is unreasonable to think it's her news to share with others. You are unreasonable to not tell her straight after you've told your parents .Very odd to tell aunts and cousins before the mother of the father of your baby

Maybe try reading the whole post? The MIL did know before the aunts and cousins. About a month before.

She's got a screw loose. People like this deserve to be teased mercilessly. It stops them in their tracks. They do not deserve to have their demands actually taken seriously. Honestly, even defending yourself and arguing your case validates her nonsense to an extent.

You should just laugh at her every time she tries this crap and make comments like "MIL thinks she's pregnant with her grandchild!"

As a granny to be, being sworn to secrecy, as I knew from very early on, it was most certainly not my place to tell anyone. I was so relieved when she told one of my closest friends so that I had someone to share the excitement with.

your mil is batshit and I’d definitely keep her at arms length.

If MIL's reaction here isn't a massive red flag with bells on I don't know what is.

She's bonkers, and I'm glad your husband wasn't entertaining it.

Sound boundaries now! She's clearly missing some.

Oh the transition from “mum of the family” to “gran of the family” is going to be tough for her!

she is used to being the mum, her son’s news is her family news and she’s the one to share it. On the plus side, this has happened now early on, so you are forewarned and your MIL might realise when she calms down you are right, this isn’t her news.

It's your and your husband's baby and you can tell who you like, when you like. Is she unwell?

mumsnet introduces me to new levels of batshit that I never before knew existed.

I would just laugh in her face

You all sound nuts.

Why are you all shouting and screaming at each other about who told who what news?

There's obviously some power playing or victim playing if you're all shouting at each other.

If England won the World Cup in football, and there were several hundred people in a room abroad hearing about it from various phonecalls, everyone would be excited by the news, they'd keep repeating their excitement at the news, they'd all be celebrating .... they wouldn't start being angry and yelling at each other or people down the phone saying why didn't you tell me before other people knew.

Just feeling sorry for the kid for his nightmare new relatives.

Congrats by the way on pregnancy ❤️

firstly well done to your husband for sticking up for you both and telling his mother that it is his and your baby and can tell who he likes👏 Too many husbands, partners let their mothers get away batshit behaviour when it comes to the daughter in-law and can never see their mothers poor ways

it is definitely up to you and your DH to be sharing this news with family , friends and whoever you feel like sharing your good news with.
She is crazy to think that it is up2 her to share your news with family, she maybe your husband’s mother but she is definitely not the one that conceived and made the baby is she?
Your mother in law should definitely be thinking about an apology to both of your for her unacceptable behaviour

I get this! My MiL told the whole family our son had been born, when my husband wanted to tell them himself. She said it was the done thing for her to let everyone know, but neither of us had heard that before, so we didn't know to tell her to keep it to herself. It really was very disappointing 😭

Reading stuff like this makes me happy that we aren’t a close extended family. No way would I or DH put up with crap like that.

She sounds like a nightmare. Carry on as you have started and if she behaves well in future allow her a little leeway. Nip this sort of behaviour in the bud or have a lifetime of attempted control/histrionics to deal with.

Oh God, this is not starting well.
Well done to your DH for letting her know that he and you are in control of your own news.
I hope she calms down after this. Otherwise, she will be quite a nightmare.

On the positive side, MiL had kept the news to herself for a month, so not all bad. She had probably spent time imagining the excitement of telling people. I wouldn’t cut her off just yet..

It's your news to share not hers. You are def not BU.

I agree with all the previous posters but to be the devil's advocate...if this is out of character, let it go. My own mother had a very strange reaction to my second pregnancy, I announced it to my grandmother first on the phone, before announcing it a couple weeks later to my mum face to face, and my mum was really upset my grandmother knew first. I heard her ranting to my dad for ages in the kitchen.
Sometimes, just sometimes, people who are otherwise lovely can have absurd reactions. Only you can tell!

Oh blimey! - here you go!

What is about MILs (I am one) that they think they have rights over their GC and their AC. This is madness. I fear it will only get worse.

Nurse, nurse, where's Oldperson's medication, she is ranting again.

I think this is spot on. She no longer controls her son but she has not realised this yet.

Never tell her anything ever again, until she learns to behave like an adult. Mil can be a nightmare if you let them.

Just wait until the baby is born. That's when the mil problems will really begin.