MIL annoyed Dh told family we're expecting

[Foood]

Dh and I went to see his auntie, cousin and nephew and broke the news that we're expecting a baby and it was very lovely and they are very excited for us.

We then went to see MIL and FIL and mentioned we'd told the family and that they are happy for us and she flipped.

She shouted that she wanted to tell them and that its up to her to tell them we're expecting and it was awful of us to do so.

Dh argued that its his baby and up to him who and when he tells them, she then said that we're selfish and don't care about her..

Are we being unreasonable here for wanting to tell people ourselves?

Just be grateful DH is on your side on this one!

If you live nearby, move!

This!!! Make sure you set boundaries early

Thanks for the support everyone, and just be be clear MIL had known for over a month before we told his auntie etc.

I'm very concerned about boundaries going forward and definitely think we need to set some clear ones for her!

MiL should check with you and DH before she shares your news. You do not gave to check with her before you share YOUR news.

I agree wholeheartedly with this. He needs to proactively shut this down now before she stresses you out during a wonderful time in your life.

This is NOT her news to share.

I don’t care if she’s an excited grandma to be, this is you and your dh’s baby and your news to share with everyone.

Who on EARTH is voting YABU?!?!?!

Emigrate.

To Mars.

Good on DH for handling this. She's his mother, so leave it to him and don't worry about it. He probably knows best how to deal with her.

As for the advice for setting clear boundaries - all good. Control the information about the pregnancy and the birth carefully.

Simply because the baby arrives doesn't mean that everyone has to know immediately and familes go mental. The best way is to send an email so everyone knows at the same time.

And remember ... absence makes the heart grow fonder.

It's not MIL's news..

She's being bloody silly. Ask her if she told people when she was pregnant or if she let her MIL tell people!

Wtf? Yanbu I can’t believe someone would act like this

"She shouted that she wanted to tell them and that its up to her to tell them we're expecting and it was awful of us to do so."
Up to her? On what planet?

Is she always this batshit?

That makes it sound even more bonkers. They'd known for a month, they hadn't told other family members, but somehow you were supposed to say nothing and wait till they got around to letting other people in the family know? How long was she planning to wait, FFS, and why?

Is there a reason why she hadn't told them?

It's not up to your MIL who you and your DH tell about your baby. She sounds a bit nuts to honest, I think you are in going to have to establish some very firm ground rules regarding this baby.

You've actually been very lucky here, she has revealed her batshitery very early in the game, leaving you sufficient time to plan how you're gonna keep her from driving you insane once the baby arrives. Best of luck, sounds like you're gonna need it.

Oh do tell MIL to get a grip! Who knew first or who told who is not going to change anything is it?
Nip this in the bud, it will only get worse. (A MIL here btw.)

She is weird. Make sure you have boundaries in place that both you and DH agree on as by the sound of it your MIL will cause issues when the baby is here.

Christ, nut job alert. You’re going to have a fun pregnancy.

Perhaps she was upset that her son had told his aunt before his mum? Her anger was wrong but perhaps she was hurt.

Of course yanbu to share your own baby news.

Just wondering though, is the auntie her sister / sister in law or someone she is really close to? She is definitely in the wrong but was maybe just excited to see their reaction after keeping it a secret?

It was our parents who told aunties etc on our behalf, purely because they talk more often to them than we do. But I'm sure they asked our permission first and established boundaries.

End of the day, its your news to share.

OP said in a reply MIL had known for a month before this already

If that how she behaves when you’re pregnant imagine how she will behave when the baby comes. Your husband is right.

Dh and I went to see his auntie, cousin and nephew

Nephew? Why was his nephew with his auntie and cousin?

Do you mean it was his cousin's child? In which case that's not his nephew.

(misses point of thread completely)