Washing up - is DH filthy or am I overreacting?

[Washingupfury]

I have name changed for this. Dh and I have a disagreement about washing up water. He feels that you fill the sink, start with cleanest stuff eg glasses work your way through to the dirty stuff and no need to change the water unless the bubbles disappear, even if the water looks dirty.

I fill the sink, wash, rinse under running water, and if the water gets cloudy I change it.

I just caught him washing a cereal bowl in this:

I think it's disgusting. He thinks it is fine 'as it was the last thing to be washed'. We have agreed to abide by the MN poll for future washing up.

So, YABU DH is sensible and timesaving, of course the last few things will be washed in cloudy water.

YANBU DH is filthy and clean water and rinsing are the way to go.

OP had you written that he doesn’t rinse the voting might have been very different.

I literally have no idea how any of my friends and family wash their dishes, is it a normal topic of conversation?
(I suspect most use a dishwasher).

We have a dishwasher but when it was broken I washed everything under a running tap because the thought of washing dishes in dirty water makes me feel sick!

Not a topic but surely you’ve been at people’s houses chatting while they do the washing up. But yes, most people have dishwashers.

I do mine under running water but I'm usually only washing a few bits and I'm often done before the water gets properly hot!

I can’t say I have really!

Not even your family/relatives/close friends?

Both of you are disgusting tbh.
Filling the sink with water and washing the dishes in that water is gross.
You can't clean something with dirty water

I'm half and half - wash in the dish, without changing water, unless bubbles go, but rinse all items, to get rid of detergent, which is carcinogenic.

I just wash without a full tub/sink.

However, if it’s a serious washing up session, I’d do a very quick pre-wish of the dirtier items, possibly just some water and the sponge (getting rid of oil, food on the item). Then soapy water in the clean tub/sink and wash all items. Then rinse each item under a running tap (can run tap at reduced speed to reduce water wastage).

But surely it will be too late then @notmybear when you observe the washing up as you will have eaten off the plates!

Have to say if I was at someone’s house and they go through the palaver some of you do whilst washing I would be horrified by how much water you are wasting.

What will you do if water becomes not so plentiful in this country, which it could do,, so much more expensive?

Where I live people have their kitchen or dinner tables in the kitchens. Maybe this is why I’ve seen it more often.

Use the dishwasher. Christ on a bike.

Everything goes in the dishwasher here, it survives.

Doing dishes by hand is a horrendous waste of water. You are both unreasonable.

‘Caught him‘ stood out to me too. This is how my awful, controlling ex used to talk to me until I finally left.

If people are concerned about fairy liquid etc being carcinogenic do you worry about it going into our water system?

Well if they are family or close friends I would have been there quite a few times already and know before I ate. I have a dishwasher myself.

I did write about lack of water in the future further up. But for now it’s still grim not to rinse the soap off the dishes. It really is. Where I live we can drink water straight out of the river actually, it’s that clean. Sadly it’s likely it won’t last forever.

Water treatment plant? We are not allowed to wash cars etc at home on our driveways for example. But if you don’t use fairy liquid and hot water your pipes will not survive for very long.

Ugh, what are people like?

Even when camping I maintain clean water and rinse.

Yet that’s how dishwashers work …

^ This.

Use a washing-up bowl and you can tip loose crumbs, the dregs from mugs, cereal milk and whatever else down between the bowl and the sink before washing them up in the bowl. No wonder the water gets manky if you wash up like that.

Does nobody get taught how to do household tasks properly any more?

This is how my mother was taught to wash up at school, so at some point it it has definitely been taught as the correct way.

I tend to use a dishwasher or use running water though

I have a dishwasher now but how your DH does it is how we were taught in home ec at school.

As long as the dishes aren’t physically dirty or greasy I can’t see how it’s filthy, even if not to your preference

It's the not rinsing that bothers me the most. I just did a bit of washing up and it's so easy and not wasteful to wash things with a soapy cloth/sponge (in a sink of hot water, without the tap running continuously) and then quickly rinse under running tap (with the water running on a slow.flow not fully blasting out). I just think not rinsing is unpleasant, and then add the dirty water on top and it's too much. But we haven't got ill so...

We had one of these at work - I think they are horribly unhygienic & use a crazy amount of washing up liquid. I'm not all that fussy but I was horrified! They will also shed microplastics.

I do rinse dishes though