Sister in law took our baby girl name

[hannahb93x]

So a bit of background, I had my son back in October 2018 and the February after we found out that my sister in law was pregnant.
Whilst we were pregnant with our son we had decided on a girl and boy name.
Our girl name was Harper, we loved it and didn’t like anything else.
Anyway we found out we were having a boy so that took the focus off the girl name and we named him Jack.
Fast forward to March/April 2019 and my sister in law tells us that they’ve decided on names.
you guessed it, her girl name was Harper.
We basically said but that’s our girl name if we have one and it was a case of oh well my partner likes it.
Anyway nothing more was said and she had the baby in October and named her Harper.
At this point I didn’t mind so much, it was only went I fell pregnant with my little girl back in 2022 that all the feelings started coming up.
We ended up naming our little girl 2 weeks before she was born, but I don’t LOVE her name, she should have always been called Harper.
It’s hard because I just think to myself, of all the names in the world and you chose that one.
I don’t want to feel like this for the rest of my life. Not sure I’ll ever get past it :-(

This has just made me snort tea out my nose.
I agree. What a fuss over nothing. You have two healthy children.

We were pregnant....🙄
And as for the names, there are bigger problems in life, that you might feel you won't "get over".
Get a grip.

The thing is, at the time your SIL used that name for her DD you weren’t pregnant. You may not have ever had a girl (obviously you did in the end, but you didn’t know you would at that time.)So you saying to her ‘but that’s our girl name’ makes you a bit weird.

You can’t bagsy a name on the off chance you might one day have a child that you’ll use the name for. You should have just used the name anyway.

You could have just called your daughter Harper, though it's a bit late to change it now.

I really don't see why people make such a mountain out of a molehill with these things.

That’s a pschitt suggestion!😂

Parper?

op has no one seen SATC episode where charlottes baby name is stolen and Samantha in one of her epic performances enters the room sees charlottes distress and when she hears the story looks right at the baby name stealer and says “BITCH” come on Charlotte we’re leaving??? It is unclear to me if SIL innocently used it or stole it?? I clearly remember my ex cousin (exH side) saying we like Seth and 26 y.o me thought shit that’s my name! It WAS my boy name and at the time was not popular altho it’s not an unsual name. So I do not have a Seth. If you truly don’t like the name for DD change it ..Kylie Jenner did. My cousin changed her name to Maggie in high school! And we all call her Maggie after 15 yrs of another name. While repeat names are very common in families I think you were smart to not use Harper. Too close in age and relation. In my family there are 5 Phil’s. Both men and women. There is a younger “lavender and brown” and her DH has same name as my DH! So we match x 4! It’s quite something when all holidaying together. So we use dad nephew brother or old lavenderbrown or young lavender brown. My DD has a namesake 14 yrs younger. Maps are a good resource for unique names.

We basically said but that’s our girl name if we have one

And you expected her not to use the name in case you ever had a daughter?

Not sure I’ll ever get past it :-(

I sincerely hope that THIS is the worst thing that ever happens to you, and you never have to experience anything truly horrific 'you won't get past'.

You are being ridiculous and Harper is a horrible name anyway.

Harper is currently a very trendy, if ugly, (Harpy?) name -- in part because of the Beckhams, I suppose.
But that means it will also fall out of fashion in a year or so, because that's the way these things happen. It will be forever tied to this era --around 2010 to 2025, in the same way that Pamela and Linda are tied to the 1950s and Karen to the 1960s/70s.
And you'll probably be glad you didn't choose it.
There are many lovely names for girls out there that are neither surnames nor harsh and masculine-sounding.

Harper is a really common name right now (in both senses of the word).

You've had a lucky escape.

You could have still called her Harper. It's not unusual to have DC with the same name in families. Is she too old to change her name now?

Yabu wanting a name from a celebrity’s kid.

There are 25 cousins on one side of my family, all of whom are in the process of having their own dc. There are multiple names because a) they’re Catholic so use popular saints’ names and b) it doesn’t matter as they’re rarely all in the same room. If you loved the name, you should have kept it. Do they live in the same area so the dc are likely to be in the same school etc?

You don’t own the name.

If your SIL didn't know that that was your girl name, then YABU.

But regardless, I'd have still called my daughter the name you loved. Lots of cousins have the same first name.

My cousin named her second son my boy name (she didn't know, unless she found out via my Mum). I never had a son, but had I had one, I still would have called him that name.

Lucky escape. Awful name.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I think in 20 years you will think your daughter had a lucky escape. I cringe when I think of some of the names I loved when I was pregnant with my now grown up children.

Sorry - you can’t use that fork, I might need it in 3 years time.

YABU. You could have never had a girl but gate kept this name for your daughter who never came to be. No offence meant by this but it’s hardly original or made up by you and your partner.

Who cares 🤦🏼‍♀️😅 honestly people who dwell on stuff like this 🙄 life is too short

Did SIL know that was your girl name before she chose it?

Did she def know or had she got the same tastes as you?

If yes, You are right to be pissed off as she stole the name you had picked.

Now you know she is super competitive and not to be trusted, keep your distance. What a cow.

If no, you have more in common than you think!! 😆

She didn’t take your name, she named her child. You don’t have a girl and may never have one!!