To keep my daughter off of school for a hair appointment

[Melonlove]

Hi
My daughter has a 3 days residential trip. We didn’t know about it until 2 days ago as she wanted to go but it was full up and somebody canceled their space opening it up to us. She’s going this coming Wednesday.

She is 7 with very thick and long Afro hair that is very hard to manage and mattes very easily. It’s really impossible to do unless you have experience with it. She can’t yet brush her hair properly or put it up properly. If she didn’t brush her hair for 3 days it would become very tangled and just look a mess. I did ask the school if anybody could help her and they said they’re not allowed to help them with that.

All of the braiders in my area are full this weekend, I’ve tried everyone even out of my town. However one person has an opening for Monday but this would be during school hours.

AIBU if I keep her off on Monday and say she’s sick so she can get her hair braided which will protect it whilst she’s away?

Why lie?

Thanks for coming back, this makes a lot of sense.

I'm quite a basic braider myself, as never needed the skill, but eventually learnt to do 2 french (or dutch) plaits on myself. I actually find it easier by feel rather than looking in the mirror.

I recommend you practice doing 2 or 3 French plaits on your DD for her nightly sleeping plait, as no-one else will see if they are wonky and uneven.
What a fabulous outcome! If she can pop a silky/ satin sleep bonnet on overnight too, her lovely braids will last longer. (My heritage is Caribbean, so we say "cane" as in rows of sugar cane, rather than "corn".)

As a mother of 2 girls with very healthy but VERY thick 4C afro hair i think you should get the hair braided. My hairdresser cancelled at very short notice and i tried my very best but it was not adequate.

My daughter came back from her ski trip with her hair an absolute tangled matted mess and it was nothing but tears getting it sorted out.

Also she hates every single photo of herself taken on the trip.

Only thing is that I would tell the truth and not involve your daughter in any deceit (and yourself too!)

I agree. Tell the truth. It wouldn’t matter how many YouTube tutorials or attempts on a dummy head I tried, whatever I did would look dreadful and not last two or three days. I’m totally crack-handed. I can’t even do a basic plait that stays in for a day on any type of hair. If you can’t do it, you can’t do it and if there’s no family or friends who can sort it out, you don’t have much choice.

Great update @Melonlove
I hope your DD enjoys her residential.

Glad your problem is solved. It sounds like maybe it would be beneficial for your daughter to have a regularly-scheduled hair appointment?

My family isn’t black, but my older daughter has thick, wiry, curly hair. I didn’t let her grow it long until she was willing to take care of untangling it herself, which ended up being at age five. Not suggesting you should just chop off your daughter’s hair a la Rapunzel, but if it’s not going to be braided regularly, would she be okay with losing at least a few inches? It seems like her hair takes a lot of work for you to maintain.

Totally misread your last message OP. So lucky you got a cancellation and she’s good to go now. Hope she enjoys her trip

I have thick afro hair. So does my son. Spending time taking care of it is just part of our culture. I sit on the sofa, he sits on the floor with a mirror in front of us. He can watch and learn. Cutting a girl's afro hair short won't necessarily make it easier, in fact it could make styling it a lot harder. Getting it braided regularly isn't necessary either, and is expensive.

I would be honest too. It’s absolutely a valid reason.

Take her out for appointment but don’t keep her off all day. Just tell school she has an appointment.

Read the update.

I'm a year 3 TA.

The problem with this kind of thing is that the child would come in the next day/later on etc, and I'd say "oh hello Annie! Are you feeling better?" And the child would say "oh I wasn't properly ill, my mummy said I needed my hair done for going on the residential so she said I had a temperature /was sick" 😆

Don't lie to school, tell the truth, because I can virtually guarantee your kid will anyway 😂

It's so hard on residential trips though. We can't officially do hair (although I'd never leave a child struggling.) But I wouldn't want to hurt them by brushing it too hard, I have very little experience of afro hair, and id be worried I'd make a mess of it.

I'd go get it braided and take the potential unauthorized absence mark rather than have her suffer. Hope she has a great time away!

Brilliant news OP! Hope she has the best time away! Don't forget the teddy! (Even year six bring one!)

@SmallScreen I'm a teacher and it makes me laugh when they're like "I went to the themepark yesterday!" When they were supposed to be ill. Doesn't bother me that the parents lied though!

Oh well done!

Cutting a girl's afro hair short won't necessarily make it easier, in fact it could make styling it a lot harder. Getting it braided regularly isn't necessary either, and is expensive

Totally agree. Short hair can get into a knotty tangle pretty quickly and can be a nightmare to sort out . It’s harder to style shorter hair too. In this case taking a few inches off as suggested wouldn’t sort out the tangle that 3 days away will result in.

I completely know why ur doing that bc I have hair appointments sometimes and might have to miss school for them and your child can't be in school every day!