To keep my daughter off of school for a hair appointment

[Melonlove]

Hi
My daughter has a 3 days residential trip. We didn’t know about it until 2 days ago as she wanted to go but it was full up and somebody canceled their space opening it up to us. She’s going this coming Wednesday.

She is 7 with very thick and long Afro hair that is very hard to manage and mattes very easily. It’s really impossible to do unless you have experience with it. She can’t yet brush her hair properly or put it up properly. If she didn’t brush her hair for 3 days it would become very tangled and just look a mess. I did ask the school if anybody could help her and they said they’re not allowed to help them with that.

All of the braiders in my area are full this weekend, I’ve tried everyone even out of my town. However one person has an opening for Monday but this would be during school hours.

AIBU if I keep her off on Monday and say she’s sick so she can get her hair braided which will protect it whilst she’s away?

????

This!

Speaking as a teacher, I would absolutely just tell the truth. You’ve had little notice and she can’t cope with her hair alone. My 8 year old went on a residential and she had hair like a bird’s nest for the whole 3 days. Took a whole bottle of conditioner to sort out when she got back and she has Caucasian hair, albeit very thick. The next residential she got very tight French braids and it was much better. They are very little to deal with their hair themselves so you have to make it easy for them.

I hope she has a lovely time.

This - talk about equality and safe guarding - I’d phone the head and explain the situation etc

Don't call in sick, talk to the school, and if it is morning, go back to school in the afternoon.

Seems a lot for a three day trip though. Make sure that for future ones your DD can manage her hair without assistance.

This, it's not fair to expect your child to keep this as a secret and she could run the risk of not being able to go if there is a 48-hour exclusion rule.

A day off at 7 is nothing, yanbu. I'd probably give a vague excuse, maybe say she woke up with a bad headache, and she's got an appointment in the afternoon, so you're going to keep her off all day.
Dd2 has very straight, fine hair but she came back from a residential when she was 9 or 10 with a bird's nest! It took ages to get back to normal.

Don’t lie about sickness - this may compromise her going on the trip a couple of days later. Just ring and say she won’t be in because she has an appointment and she’ll be in the day after - you don’t need to tell them what the appointment is for.

I think YABU but that because at 7 I would have blurted out the truth as soon as I set foot in school on the Tuesday morning.

I'd take her to the appointment then take her to school. They aren't to know that she didn't have it done at the weekend. Say you had a family issue and you're sorry she's late. A white lie is okay because you're doing the hair for a justified reason.

you really think the OP doesn't know what protective styles are???

The problem with the white lie is DD has to be in on it. White lies are an easier thing to rationalise for adults but a bit unfair on children.

True @Calliopespa not sure why I thought it tbh as I'd never ask mine to lie.

^

This.

I would either braid her hair myself or tell the school she cannot attend as she has an appointment.
They are unlikely to ask any further, but if they ask, I would go with the truth.

Do you know how to braid? It is not that difficult if you go for a simple style.
Is her hair long or short? If long, I would advice you to give it a go yourself over the weekend.

You probably forgot op would need to tell dd not to mention it.

I once turned up 15 mins late for a lunch and unthinkingly said “ I’m sorry there was traffic,” because it was a friend who takes offence easily and I didn’t want to hurt her.

Then DC piped up “ AND we had to stop to get a gift for the party I’m going to this afternoon.” 😕 Totally hadn’t factored the potential input of dc into the exchange …

ah yes, great parentling right there.. teaching your little one its ok to lie and deceive in order to get what you want.

school would be way more understanding if you popped in and had a quick chat! they are going to know shes had her hair done when she turns up for the school trip anyway.

I would have a "dental ' appointment

Definitely a good reason for her to have time off school.
Edited to say so tell them the reason though, and explain you wouldn’t have done it if they were able to offer support with care tasks while she was away.

I braided my DDs hair for her school trip for the same reasons.

Are you not able to braid it yourself?

If not, then I would definitely allow her a day off and either tell the truth or say she has a dentist/optician appointment.

Don’t say she’s poorly incase they don’t allow her to go on the trip.

I hope she has a great time 😃

I think telling the truth is the right decision. It will save the teachers going on the trip a whole load of hassle, your DD a lot of distress and you have a good reason for having to do it on Monday. Even if they don't like it, what are they going to do? They cant force her to go to school. They will just mark it as an unauthorised absence. No harm done really, unless she has been off so many times that one more absence gets the truant officer round.

I think you are being unreasonable. Her education is more important than her hair.

Ooops. Yes mine are all adults now and I had forgotten how sometimes the little darlings can throw you under the bus!

Actually, I was telling the white lie. Not asking the child too in the imaginary scenario.

Just be honest-they should understand as it’s a one off.