To hate parenting in this country

[DontknowwhatI]

I have a young DC 2 years old, me and DH work full time but I work longer hours over 4 days and I am studying as well. Don't have any family around and I am finding parenting quite hard especially entertaining DC over preschool holidays and weekends. The weather is so crappy always raining and many days we went out and came back drenched because in within 15 minutes weather went from sunny to hailstorm and rain. It's always grey and lack of sunshine is really getting to me now.
I am an immigrant but have been in this country for over 10 years. I used to love this country but hate how expensive CoL has become and the exorbitant cost of childcare means we want to send DC only 4 days to nursery while I am working. I feel I am just working, parenting and doing household chores on repeat with no end in sight. Having no family around means no help available with childcare etc.
I know many people will say to go back to my country but I am a British citizen now. Don't know what to do.

[LadyKenya]

I hear you OP. I am sick of this weather as well. Summer seems to last for all of two weeks. It is depressing.

[DontknowwhatI]

@LadyKenya it is depressing and DC feels stuck at home on all the rainy days.

[Lammveg]

Me and DH are moving countries with DD for this exact reason, back to DH's home country.

My SIL has kids in that country and she just has so much more support from family/the general culture and way of life.

[Tiddlywinkly]

It's all a bit crap at the moment, I agree.

As an aside, can I suggest BBC Weather for a generally good break down of the weather for the day and the next few days. I'm a runner and look at it regularly. Helps you to avoid the worst of the weather at least!

[DontknowwhatI]

@Tiddlywinkly I usually check weather forecast on Alexa every morning and some days it's been totally different than the forecast. I should check BBC app more.

[Tobacco]

Might you be a bit low in vitamin D? I've found I am and have started taking supplements. I found it got easier the older the kids are. I hope it gets easier for you and the weather improves soon. I'm hoping for a sunny May.

[Tobacco]

The Met Office app is good

[DontknowwhatI]

@Tobacco I am low on vitamin D just found out this week. Taking OTC supplements etc.

[fairymary87]

Tell me about it! Even with the weather apps been caught in hail twice this week and had to do a u turn! So frustrating. This is where we were born and have some support so we're staying! But I totally agree with you in regards to expenses etc!!! It's so unfair

[KateDelRick]

Are you sure you couldn't go back to your home country? Where is it?

[DontknowwhatI]

@KateDelRick I can but I have my career here which I have built over last 10 years, our house, friends and social life etc as we haven't been able to visit home country for several years now. It's not very easy to uproot everything and move countries easily.

[Rantypanties]

I took my child and friend to a museum and with a McDonald’s lunch and burnt through almost £100. If it had actually been a nice day we would have been outside with a picnic!

The constant rain is getting me down. I was shocked to see rapeseed in the fields when I was driving the other day, only because the fields I walk my dogs in aren’t being used this year and it’s so bloody miserable I forgot rapeseed is even out! One positive is the bluebells have come out nicely this year!

[KateDelRick]

@DontknowwhatI

@KateDelRick I can but I have my career here which I have built over last 10 years, our house, friends and social life etc as we haven't been able to visit home country for several years now. It's not very easy to uproot everything and move countries easily.

No, it's not, I understand that. However, if you're so unhappy you'll have to.
Something's got to give and your current mindset will impact your child.

[Sapphire387]

I'll be honest, my parents live locally to us, as does my sister, and they all help us with the kids (we have four kids). It makes a huge difference.

Much is made on here about 'your kids, your responsibility', but families were never traditionally raised in that way (the nuclear family) and I can see it's fucking hard.

[DontknowwhatI]

@Sapphire387 totally agree with everything you said.

[TempsPerdu]

I’m usually pretty glass half full about this stuff OP, but atm I absolutely feel you - the weather has been relentlessly miserable, and the cost of living, most public spaces and national mood are all grim.

In some ways the weather is the least of it. I’m British but DD is an only and DP and I both have elderly parents and very small families, so don’t have much of a ‘village’ to draw on. Plenty of friends but everyone’s so busy and frazzled all the time, and there’s a general sense of wider community having broken down a lot too over the past few years - fewer of those little daily interactions and activities going on locally. We’re often left panicking about how to entertain DD and not leave her socially isolated.

In the past we’ve tackled this by paying our way out of the problem - booking lots of evening and weekend activities for us and DD to do. But even some of these have recently fallen by the wayside - for e.g. the lovely choir DD sings in is currently not running as the brilliant choirmaster who runs it is currently signed off with stress from all the other work he’s had to take on (partly as a result of cuts to the arts making his working environment very tough).

It’s just all very difficult, and so different from what most of my close friends experienced when they had their kids a decade before us. With the birth rate falling, children and families seem to be coming something of an afterthought when it comes to government/societal priorities.

[WatermelonWaveclub]

I don't know where you live but could you move to a sunnier part of the UK? I mean it's been rainy everywhere but where I am in the SE we've had lots of prolonged spells of sunny weather recently. I don't think I could live elsewhere in the UK where it seems so cold and grey and rainy according to what I read on here!

[KetoAveitO]

The weather is crap and understandably is getting on your tits. This is what underlines most of the woes of the UK and is why so many former colonies are thriving just in terms of their way of life. IMO.

Everything costs a bomb, the infrastructure is built like patchwork with no forethought, women do all the dirty work and are stigmatised and degraded for their femininity, the standard of living has caved in... need I go on?

However, if you've immigrated here for personal, long term safety; you need to look at your feelings a bit more objectively. The British psyche is by and large, very much pragmatic and resilient, which in many ways aligns with my home country.

Chin up! X

[G123456789]

Firstly try the met office app really accurate and has radar showing the cloud/rain movements
Second, is It a bad thing if you and the kids get wet occasionally. Have a puddle splashing day, set up some dry towels and clothes all ready. Got chocolate and marshmallows all prepared.
Thirdly, remember when I was a kid in the 70s tv had 3 channels and didn't start really until 4pm, there was no cartoon network, tablet....it's not a bad thing to sit down with your little ones on a wet afternoon and watch a film
Fourth, kids paints don't cost much, an hour can go by dead quick
Five, get yourself a daylight lamp to help with vitamin d.

Remember sunny, longer days are coming

[CleftChin]

The weather gets you down. I feel the same, I miss living in a warm place.

But my kids appreciate the stability, apart from the weather (and CoL) I like the place, day to day people are nice, scenery lovel, I have 80% of everything I need. Although the grind is a grind - it's only routine that keeps me going (so holidays, with no structure almost seem worse than term time with hours of school-run)

I just really wish the weather was better. Not enough to move the kids again though.

[DontknowwhatI]

Thanks for all the kind words and suggestions. I am going to get the met app.

[vincettenoir]

I hear you. But your lo is still very young and this is a particularly rainy Spring. Things are likely to get much easier. Even if you have more DC, it's very hard work in the early years but it's a relatively short time in the scheme of things.

Doesn't make it easier right now though. I really hope the weather picks up and the following months are better for you guys.

[GoodnightAdeline]

YANBU, at all. Hopefully the puddlesuit wankers (as another poster called them 😅) won’t miss the point and descend on the thread…

[Wolfen]

Parenting is tough when both parents are working pretty much full time even with some support so I hear you too.

The weather app is a good idea. I still use that for myself as I like to try to get a daily walk in.
Other things that I used to do is

• find playgroups. Churches often run them and they're not religious and I made quite a few friends by going to different ones.
• swimming
• museums
• library

Check when they have suitable activities as well.

[TheHeadOfTheHouse]

Everyone I know is moaning about the weather!

I do think it’s crap living here, but it’s much better than a lot of places in the world.

i wouldn’t like to live in a 3rd world country for example