To hate parenting in this country

[DontknowwhatI]

I have a young DC 2 years old, me and DH work full time but I work longer hours over 4 days and I am studying as well. Don't have any family around and I am finding parenting quite hard especially entertaining DC over preschool holidays and weekends. The weather is so crappy always raining and many days we went out and came back drenched because in within 15 minutes weather went from sunny to hailstorm and rain. It's always grey and lack of sunshine is really getting to me now.
I am an immigrant but have been in this country for over 10 years. I used to love this country but hate how expensive CoL has become and the exorbitant cost of childcare means we want to send DC only 4 days to nursery while I am working. I feel I am just working, parenting and doing household chores on repeat with no end in sight. Having no family around means no help available with childcare etc.
I know many people will say to go back to my country but I am a British citizen now. Don't know what to do.

@Firsttimetrier yes I agree with that. Child friendly places are so far and few in between here and I'm always amazed at what people here consider child friendly. In my home country, a big standard Italian/ pizza restaurant has a section where kids can make there own pizza for example. Proper soft play in most restaurants. I live in a very affluent area with a very popular high street, but if look for one place that has a decent menu for children there is NONE. Yet people hype up this high street.

Me too . Single parent here.

I live in UK 12 years. And couple of months ago decided to come back home (I'm from Eastern Europe). I can't even get nursery for my 1 year old in London (we joined waiting lists while I was still pregnant with him).
It's super hard with no family around. And super expensive.
I can't even get NHS dentist for my son, paid more than £1500 for private.

Is it better in other countries? I don't have much of a frame of reference. I know I wouldn't want to raise kids in the US where there is very little maternity leave and a gun problem, although the weather is better. I think things are more expensive everywhere.

That's true, the childcare situation is ridiculous. We're on the waiting list for three nurseries at the moment.

England has experienced the wettest 18 months since records began in 1836!

Ah!

@SunshineOceanAndOrangesthanks for the kind words, what you said really hit home.

To others saying I am complaining about the country, in my post I have mentioned I loved this country and I am not really complaining about the people, it's mainly around the weather and the childcare costs along with my own circumstances.
And to the other people asking people to go back to "your country", I did mention that I am a British citizen so this is my home and I have the same rights as you. If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing!

I also think that the situation has changed so much in a generation. For good and bad.
I had the option, like many others, to stay at home.
I also made many friends, pragmatically, with parents of children roughly the same age as mine. We all helped each other out. My own children haven't done that.
I preferred that to using my own family, who lived too far away anyway.
I remember at the time, though, feeling like a 2nd class citizen because I wasn't in paid employment.

Plus there were things that we didn't take for granted, like eating out and foreign holidays.

Well said!

There are a few people on this thread who have been markedly tetchy about any complaint the OP has made, despite the observations of many born and bred Britons agreeing with her comments on various aspects of life in the UK, including but not limited to the weather and the impossible position many parents are in wrt childcare availability and expense.

I'm not an immigrant but I agree 100% OP! Parenting young children in this country over this horrifically wet autumn/winter/spring (allegedly it is spring?!) has been relentless and crappy. I truly believe that anyone who says otherwise is either delusional, a fish, or they are not actively parenting young children at this moment in time.
I don't mind going out with the puddlesuit, but every single day for 18 months straight? Yeah that's a hard pass from me. So it's inside activities - that would be either paying extortionate amounts to stay in with the heating on, or paying extortionate amounts to go to cafes/soft play/literally everything you can think of because it all costs money - lots of money (yes, even the museums and libraries cost money when you can't walk to them because it's hailing outside!). Don't even get me started on nursery costs.
Honestly this country is so shit at the moment. Here's hoping the weather and COL situation improve soon 🙏
To summarise: OP you have my sympathy.

I am from Eastern Europe, in my country you get 2 years full paid mat leave, and you are allowed to get an additional year out unpaid, meanwhile you can’t be sacked or made redundant by law with childres below 3 years of age, the company had to close down for you to lose your job. The nurseries are mostly state owned and completely free, you only subsidise lunches for like £10 a month. The schools are available to all regardless of home address as long as you can do the commute. Recently, friends of mine with a young child have been on luxury hols to the Maldives and The Seychells, here young families mostly struggle to make ends meet with the crippling nirsery fees.
Another example- My cousins live in another country (Austria) - they pay EUR80 a month in nursery fees!
I know grass looks greener elsewhere but honestly the lifestyle in other European countries for young families have very much surpassed the lifestyle here in 20 years (it used to be the other way round in Eastern Europe back then).

Nowadays the grandparents are older as their children have babies later in life. Lots of grandparents also have their own parents to look after as people are living longer. They have done their own offspring’s childcare.
State funded childcare has increased hours beginning at a younger age. Parents of young children have to make decisions about working or not.
British weather is seasonal and has been wetter than usual but there’s plenty to do for families and children aren’t little for long. I assume you chose parenthood?
I suppose we all need a moan from time to time.

OP, have you got friends (preferably with same age children) that you can get together with? I found it a life-saver

Get some weather appropriate clothes for yourself and your children. There are plenty of gardens and parks around to enjoy spring blooms with your children rain or shine.

Comments like this always make me laugh. We were actually the oddball family who did this when DD was a toddler/preschooler, puddle suits and all. Even in winter we had to get out of our small, cluttered house every day or we’d all go stir crazy, so it was endless puddle splashing for us in parks/RHS gardens.

At least 90% of the time we were the only souls there - because, funnily enough, the vast majority of people don’t enjoy wandering around in the cold/wind/pissing rain, even while wearing a puddle suit.

Do what all parents need to do - build a support network.

It's easier when your child starts school - because no one wants the responsibility of someone else's 2 year old. However join a mother and toddler activity group. There are some run by every local Council. Your child will love it, even if you don't.

Not sure why you're doing all the childcare at weekends if both you and husband work? Tell your lazy husband to get off his backside and do one regular activity per weekend with your child, whether it's going to the park, a play centre, feeding the ducks or doing the weekly shop at a supermarket.

Network when your child starts school. Get to know the parents of your child's friends. Those you click with will become invaluable.

Get over the weather. Good weather is ahead. Maybe. You've already learned to moan about it, which makes you very British.

And then ask yourself why you moved to this country 10 years ago? If it's not the right place for you, what or where would be better?

I hear you. I think we have a very hostile environment for parents of young kids. It makes no sense that we have loaded most of the work and cost of living burden on young families.

If we're not careful we will end up in a country of elders supported by a diminishing number of young people to balance them out.😉

That's because British children are so unruly, loud and disruptive.

Children in other European countries are better behaved and well-disciplined, and that is down to the parenting.

Here in the UK, bad behaviour is just not dealt with. A French mother, for example, would just not tolerate the behaviour British kids put out.

Spot on, many European countries especially in Eastern Europe have changed their policies for young families to make them more child friendly due to the diminishing populations and falling birth rates, this was years ago.
We have started to see this trend in the UK now, and the government, instead of pleading to people to just have more kids (i.e. more tax payers), should think very carefully about how they would incentive people to have more kids, and think fast indeed.

Life is too short to live where you don't like...career pr not if you feel as low about your lifestyle as you say go somewhere else. Careers are possible in other countries.

Something I try to remember in situations like this; comparison is the thief of joy. Enjoy the good things you have - you love the UK, you chose to live here, you have a loving DH and beautiful DC. Buy a good raincoat and wellies. You're tired, stressed and studying. Things will get better x

Join a Vit D deficiency support group as it’s more complex to treat than people realise