To reply that my child isn’t potty trained?

[whattosayy]

95% reliable for we
8 months after starting still soils pants - we’ve never had a poo on potty or toilet 😭

I have been on Eric contacted hv team etc but so I just need to accept he isn’t trained & may not be before school?

How old is he?

I don't think just accepting it is a good plan. For one thing, it's really not fair on the staff of the school you are going to be sending him to.

Have you spoken to the GP? He may have a medical issue, like impaction, which is causing him problems.

If he isn't potty trained he isn't potty trained, don't lie that he is. He may get it between now and starting school. Would he benefit from more time at home? He doesn't have to start until the term after his 5th birthday.

It’s April. You’ve got another 5 months to go. It might not happen but I wouldn’t be just accepting that at this stage.

But what else can I do? I could try to get a GP appointment but I’m not sure it’s a medical issue. So what can I do, hand in my notice and home school until he gets it? I know that looks so argumentative and that is not the intention, but realistically its that or send him.

How old is he & when does he start school?

He is three and 5 months: he will start the preschool bit of the school he will attend in September when he’ll be nearly 4. I know things can change but we’re just so far into this journey and have made no progress with poo (now there’s a sentence) that I am starting to get really concerned to be honest.

How is that helpful? Is she meant to get a time machine?

Well no he’s not potty trained right now, doesn’t mean you’re not trying or that he’ll be like that forever. How old is and when does he start school? Even if it’s September that’s still 5 months away! Also has a medical issue definitely been ruled out eg constipation?

Where is he doing his poo? In a nappy?

Who said she waited too late?

TBH as it’s pre-school not reception, and he’s so little and you need to work, I wouldn’t send him to pre school. I’d put him in with a child minder or private nursery, and ask them to work with you very closely on getting him school ready in terms of toileting. A private childcare setting will accept and be equipped to help with this. School isn’t and won’t.

Just try over the summer. My cousins child is same age as yours and just started nursery (within a school) after being an early start. Cousin had tried potty training and he just wasn’t getting it, she told the school this and they said he can still go in a nappy. You just have to keep trying that’s all you can do really

Starting when they under 3 years old isn't late.

OP, did the HV say anything helpful? I would try and get a GP appointment in case there is some medical reason, having the occasional accident is one thing but never doing a poo on the potty sounds unusual. What do you do? Do you get DC to sit there for a while trying? Play a game, try again, have a story, try again, sing a song, try again?

Oh so it’s school nursery he’s starting not school school… no biggie, they’ll be used to accidents and I guarantee you they will have seen this before. My youngest is at a school nursery and I know at least 3 boys and 1 girl in the class have/have had poo issues. If this is for his new joiner forms just be honest and give a shorter version of what you’ve said here- trained for wees, still issues with poo but you’re seeking advice and hopefully he’ll get there soon.

He is only starting preschool in September, not school.

Not being potty trained before preschool is a whole different scenario from starting reception not trained.

Also 5 months is an eternity at this age. There is every chance he’ll be fine by then. My younger DD refused to try for ages and then suddenly was ready and nailed it in a weekend.

You need to try everything. So get a GP appointment because there is a possibility it is a medical issue. Try it, see if they can help at all. See if they can signpost you to any additional services as well.

Look at what you've tried so far. List it all out. Then work out what you haven't tried, and give that a go. Keep trying different things.

Attending pre-school in Sept at nearly 4 - so, like a school-based nursery? Not reception? I would expect they may be slightly more forgiving but they will certainly (and reasonably) expect that you will have been doing everything you can to get him trained.

He just poos in his pants. Ignore the goady fucker poster!

Most schools are understanding. My daughter refused to use the toilet for her poos and would only poo in her pants. I had to send her with extra panties and uniform. She managed to sort it out by herself at the end of reception/beginning of year one. She was afraid of the sensation of having a poo. Might have been one bad hurt her. I would try Eric.

With my last dc I waited until he was over 3... Never heard of a poo window.... He was dry day time in 3 days. And overnight soon after.. I could have faffed on for a year and a half causing us both stress.

I think five months is a huge amount of time in the life of a child that small so I wouldn't necessarily write the probability of him getting it off at this point. But I do think you have to keep hammering away at it, even if it is a depressing chore.

Speak to the GP or local HV team. It could be constipation or a medical issue. DD is trained and has been for a year but started having 2 hours a day where she constantly wet herself. Then would be dry throughout the rest of the day. We had to keep a diary of incidents. Worked out it was related to poo times and started around 2 hours before she pooed. Apparently they can pop every day and still be constipated. Ours started with withholding as she didn't want to go for a poop on the toilet. A couple of weeks of laxative and now a daily maintenance dose for a few weeks and hopefully we will be sorted. Completely dry in the day now.

If he doesn’t like the potty buy a toilet seat with handles at the side. And then just sit there until he dies a poo in the toilet. Once he’s done one praise him effusively. But don’t let him get down y til he’s produced something ( obviously timing is everything)

How often does he poo a day? Is there any kind of schedule, often children get in a rhythm which can help. How did he act before he poos (hiding behind sofa or go into corner).

Getting GP to see him and feel his tummy to check for impaction which would affect his ability to feel sounds like a sensible suggestion.

Just so unhelpful…

(Sorry, was replying Diamond Artist).