To reply that my child isn’t potty trained?

[whattosayy]

95% reliable for we
8 months after starting still soils pants - we’ve never had a poo on potty or toilet 😭

I have been on Eric contacted hv team etc but so I just need to accept he isn’t trained & may not be before school?

I think this is the best plan, he doesn't need to go to a school nursery, many be areas don't even have them.

Hello, I don’t know if you have tried already or if anyone has suggested but have you tried giving your child a little privacy on the toilet/potty to go? My two year old will only do a poo if we sit just outside the bathroom the other side of the ajar door. Only reason I suggest is because you said your child normally soils in the small window when you are occupied doing something else like in the bathroom yourself or at the front door getting a parcel? Good luck, I’m sure things will work out soon.

If he's only starting the preschool and not reception this September, I wouldn't be too concerned. He's got time.
I think you'll find you may be able to spot signs he's about to 'go.' Perhaps his face changes? Or does he tell you? If so, you run to the toilet and let him do it there.

OR after a big meal, you go to the toilet after a bit to try and push one out and make it very big deal if and when it happens. Like a huge celebration. (thats what I had to do with my son)

I’ve read your posts but not the entire thread so do forgive me.

He is still very young and some children are not potty trained at all yet. My nephew was nearly 4 when he cracked it.

we sit on the loo and watch Pooland together after every meal and before bed. That is what really got us going, but did take a long time and effort to get there. DD is also constipated and the cause of most our problems with pooing however. Now she sits and watches a video, which is a big treat for her. Bubbles/toys didn’t work for us.

I also had her favourite teddy sit on the potty and he did a poo. We said how teddy must feel happy now his poo is out his belly etc.

we just let DD go in her pants. Nursery are given lots of spares and either throw them out or bag them up at their own discretion. We sit on straight after an accident and praise the tiniest bit going in the loo and how happy it is at poo land. When accidents happen we just say never mind, and poo would like to go in the loo/potty. “Try again next time. “

I’d think about masses of cabbage, Jerusalem artichokes, prune juice and lots of stuff that makes you poo. Keep off all carbohydrates and keep liquids to water or juice ( pref prune )
Then sit him on the toilet till it happens. Surely it won’t be long.
At some point it’s got to happen.
He can watch something on an iPad and you can be on Mumsnet!

Its preschool. My son also not potty trained fully when he is in the preschool and they change his nappy. Dont worry about that. Even though they said kids need to potty trained but not all kids can do it. They will understand.

Mines 4 next month. Some days he’s 100%, other days he has 5 changes of pants 🙄 I send him to school looking like he’s going camping for a week.

*He is also being investigated for hypotonia. We didn’t know this when he started school nursery this time last year.

The main warning I’ll give: school nursery tend to leave the poo in the clothes and put the whole lot in a bag!!! Check before you empty the bag into the washer 🤢

Love some of these responses!

@whattosayy think you’ve had a few normal replies but to add… by DS is five in July and he’s only just, in the last few weeks, finally cracked poos on the toilet. We spoke to Eric and the GP and he’s on Laxido however it’s taken a year of being on it for us to finally get him reliable.

He started school in September and has only had two accidents. A lot of children just don’t poo at school! My DD can poo three times a day at home but will never poo at school.

Your son is only young. September is still far away. And even if he’s not reliable at home by then, he’ll probably surprise you at preschool.

Just keep chipping away! It will end!

Is he starting preschool or reception year in September? In preschool loads of kids are having poo accidents.

My DD also starts pre school in Sept, she isn't potty trained yet but is not yet 3. In a month or so when the weather is better I'll spend loads of time with her nappy free in the garden. I'm not worried. If we get to August and she's still not there I may panic but not yet. We've got plenty of time OP, no need to rush him yet.

I feel your pain. My little guy is 4 and 5 months will be attending kindergarten this fall. He is still not 💩 trained.
I have tried so many different ideas that I'm about to give up.
The paediatrician and speech therapist referred him to an occupational therapist to see if that would make a difference. So far it hasn't. I ask him why he 💩 s in in underwear and he'll just say because I want to. He'll also say things like "you don't like it when I poop in my pants " and I reply no I don't. Then he will say but I like to. He will come and tell me as soon as he does it. I've tried the 💩 videos and letting him sit for 15 minutes or so. He'll wait and 💩 within 5 minutes of getting up.
I already spoke to the teachers at school he will be allowed to go to school. They just like to know ahead of time which kids to watch for.
Sorry I haven't any ideas for you, just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
This frustrating to me as my other kids were all trained before 2 1/2 years.

Does he let you know that he’s soiled himself? Or would he be happy to carry on playing etc. with poo in his pants?

When he does poo in his pants, is it what you would consider to be a “good” amount. i.e. a whole poo? And normal consistency?

It sounds like you’ve tried lots of things but just in case you haven’t, I would try:

• sitting him on the toilet 20 minutes after waking and after each mealtime with bubble to blow either actual bubbles or a straw in a cup of water and feet up on a stool.
• having a special bathroom basket with some fidget type toys in that stay in the bathroom for him to play with whilst he tries to have a poo on the toilet.

There are some methods to encourage children who will only poo in a nappy to go on the toilet, such as sitting them on the toilet in their nappy to do a poo - could potentially work for pants too?

the bladder and bowel UK website has some good info and I’m sure you’ve seen already but ERIC have a free helpline. Your HV team should be able to make a referral to the bladder and bowel service/nurse in your area if the issue persists.

I had a longer reply but frankly I think, what a load of bollocks sums up my response to your window....

@whattosayy would you mind me PMimg you? I won't if you'd rather I didn't

My daughter was just very constipated - so it was impossible. Lots of movicol later and bam - pooing like a trooper.

movicol stopped over a month ago and not a single accident since, but she was on movicol for ages.

pooing needs to be easy otherwise they get frightened I think and the withold
and then soil.

this may not be the case for you but I do think it’s the case for lots!

Omg he's only 3...! I thought you were going to say he's 5 or something. Bless him, he's just starting out. He's still very young. Time and patience.

"panties"?

Read “Oh cr@p I’m potty training” from cover to cover (or listen on audio). It discusses the reasons why certain approaches don’t work and the confusing message we can send to our kids. Take 2 days over a weekend and do exactly as the book says. You will have him sorted. 3+ means he will understand what being a big boy / human and part of the world is about and how we don’t poo just anywhere. Don’t allow this to continue - you are doing him no favours and you will feel amazing after conquering it. Good luck OP. You can do this if you do the right things. 💪🏻 💪🏻 https://amzn.eu/d/h1ZsZSt

Oh and it applies to BOTH day and night nappies. I know it sounds scary but it’s one of the few parenting things I’ve done with 100% success. BUT you must follow it exactly. No shortcuts or times when just use a pull on for convenience. 🤗

I think he's picking up on you stressing. If he isn't using the lavatory or potty for poos, he isn't "potty" trained.

Put him back in nappies for a month and forget all about it. Tell him he can't poo his pants so has to have the nappies.

Meanwhile get a GP appointment or pay for a referral to a general paediatrician to check out constipation and resolve it if present.

My money is on him picking up your stress and him using it as a control mechanism against growing up.

Honestly I don't know what the answer is but this didn't seem a problem when mine went to nursery 25 years ago aged three. DS only pooed in a nappy for about a month once wee trained at 2 yrs 8mths and asked for it or had it whipped on when he went on tippy toes or a bit red in the face. Are you watching for cues? If there are no cues I would venture some impaction.

I fully get this and appreciate how annoying it is!

My little girl toilet trained for wees at two and a half, it took her a year to master poos!

Like your son, she just would soil herself. We tried everything suggested on here, plus the GP, HV etc etc. medically there was no issue and all the tips given by the HV were useless.

One day she just did it, tbh I think it happened accidentally and she went for a wee and did a poo too. We made a huge fuss, all exciting and that was it, she hasn't looked back. But it was a year of different techniques, getting her to sit on the loo periodically, reward charts or the promise of a gift etc but I think she just wasn't ready.

I think there's two ways you can try - 1) no pull ups or pants in the house, keep a close eye on him and when you see signs he might poo, whip him up and sit him on the loo! Lots of praise and encouragement and really try not to show any frustration, easier said than done I know! If you're vigilant, you should be able to catch a poo on the loo eventually, then really praise him.
2) no pants in the house and sit him on the loo for 10/15 mins each hour. Reading, playing games/blowing bubbles to keep him there. If you do this consistently for a couple of weeks, you've got a good chance of getting him to poo. Better to sit him little and often than for long periods of time! Good luck OP, I know it feels like an uphill struggle but once the penny drops he'll probably do it quite quickly 🤞

Sorry cant read all replies - I know you’ve probably tried this but have you done star charts/offered rewards? Our Son really struggled with going for a poo when potty trained (took forever on the loo but would go eventually) and bribery really worked. We promised anything at first (with young kids, its not hard to find something cheap they want). Have you got a star chart up on the bathroom wall? Also, does your child eat plenty of fruit/drink lots? Just thinking could be constipation so holding and then eventually going in the nappy?

So I had very similar issue toilet training my youngest child. We worked a lot with Eric and Health visitor. In the end it was getting him to help clear up mess from soiled pants that seemed to encourage him to use the potty. Eric and h/v felt we had got stuck in cycle of him pooing in pants as means of seeking attention. We also did a lot of reward and praise too for using the toilet.

Apologies if it's already been mentioned/tried, but look up 'Poo goes home to Pooland' - it solved our DS's fear of pooing in a potty/toilet literally overnight. It's an NHS-approved story (also an app now - it was a pdf that you printed out when mine was little) and it's honestly like magic.