To reply that my child isn’t potty trained?

[whattosayy]

95% reliable for we
8 months after starting still soils pants - we’ve never had a poo on potty or toilet 😭

I have been on Eric contacted hv team etc but so I just need to accept he isn’t trained & may not be before school?

You are talking utter, utter rubbish about a “crucial window”. All my kids trained from 38 months onwards so the OP is not too late at all. They took varying times to get it but I hadn’t even tried the first time by 30 months.

OP I’d go to the GP to rule out anything medical (including needing to use Movicol or similar to deal with any backlog), keep a diary of habits before you go as that can be helpful. And take the advice on the ERIC website which is way more useful than some of the tosh you’ve been told on this post.

Maybe he's just not ready? My son didn't start toilet training til he was 3 and a half, he got it reasonably quickly because he was ready. He was also at preschool and they were absolutely fine to do the toilet training there too.

You've got six months and you need to make it your priority to get him ready. Six months is ages. Is he using the loo regularly for wees? At 3 and 5 months he's probably far too big for a potty anyway, so he'll need to go straight to a toilet.

He doesn’t use a potty apart from occasionally the travel potty when out and about.

you need to make it your priority so how, literally keep him on a toilet until he poos? This is where poos are tricky as wees are at least regular.

My ds2 was very similar was potty trained on wee last July when he was 2 years 8months and finally got poo's about a month ago so about 7 months later. To be honest my eldest still has a lot of issues around constipation so we are well versed on poo issues here. We ignored it to a point, though we did encourage some toilet time mainly by allowing screen time whilst sat in the loo so he relaxed whilst he sat there. Now he is great and really pleased to do it in the toilet/ potty. You have time stil

OP I sympathise. My ds1 was like this. Was ok for wees at just over 3 years (with some accidents) but pooed in his pants for some months after. I can’t help much because it’s so long ago I can’t remember how we solved it, but I think he just did it in the end, when he was good and ready. He was somewhere between 3.5 and 4 years old by then.

And ds2 was very late to train - we used to sit him on the potty from around 2yo but he wouldn’t do anything-not even the tiniest wee-until he was about 3.5 years old. I was despairing by then. But then one day he decided to give it a try and nailed it straight away. They are all so different and I don’t think it’s anything to do with what age you start trying.

So it might just resolve itself but I do agree with those who are suggesting you consult your GP just in case there is something wrong.

Those last two replies are SO reassuring!

OP does he poo at the same time every day?

@DiamondArtists I presume you followed the oh crap method? You do realise even Jamie Glowacki says it's an ideal age and some children can learn outside of this window? I can't see she has any qualifications relating to child development. Any info given in her book is her opinion, not fact. And I say this as someone who followed her method, and guess what? My child was outside of her window.

Would also say plenty of water, mine have a good diet and still results in constipation especially if we are not on top of lots of drinking.

This again. There’s no such thing as waiting too late and missing the window.
The child will not forever use a nappy now.

I work in Health visiting, don’t panic OP. Often it’s anxiety related, just keep trying, he will get there. Take the pressure off.

I’m sorry to read about this OP, toilet training is so stressful.

With ny oldest son he didn’t stop using a nappy for a poo until he was just over 4 years old.

However, he wasn’t doing it in his pants and he would just tell me he needed a poo and asked for a nappy to be put on, so that’s what we did.

It wasn’t ideal but we’d sought advice from his HV and she said that taking away all the stress was the most important factor at that point, so that’s what we did.

Could you perhaps try something like that? Tell your son that you understand he doesn’t feel ready to poo in a toilet or potty just yet (which is common) but ask that he lets you know when he needs a poo and you could put a nappy on him? It’s got to be better than him thinking it’s okay for him to poo himself and then having to clean it up.

DD2 was OK for wee, but terrible at paying attention to poos - at 4yo. In the end I gave her a bag of pennies, and if she asked to go for a poo I'd give her another penny (2p if we were out of the house and I needed more time to find a loo). If she caused laundry she;d have to pay me 1p to cover the cost.

Literally one more accident after that. She just needed to pay attention and is motivated by money.

Honestly I’m so grateful for your kindness. I’ve been keeping it chilled and just ‘ah no matter let’s try the toilet next time’ but it’s not working - I’m sure it will but it is stressful.

I'm in a very similar boat. It's INCREDIBLY hard

I mean by putting aside a decent period of time dedicated to getting this done. So you are there with him all day every day, for a week or two, observing and anticipating when he's ready to do a poo, so you can react to it quickly.

Handing in your notice might be a bit extreme, but you've just had Easter. You and your partner could both have taken some leave separately and committed some proper time and effort to this.

I don't think it's a coincidence that later and later potty training seems to go hand in hand with the more and more families where both parents work full time. As boring as it is to have to use up your annual leave on such a thing, it's your child and your responsibility to get it done.

@HeadDeskHeadDesk i have but realistically I can’t keep an eye on him for every second of his waking hours. I know, because I’ve tried! I can guarantee in the ten seconds I have a wee myself or look outside or a parcel comes it’ll be the critical moment.

House logistics are also an issue. We have an open plan downstairs with numerous hidey holes.

I also have another child who needs tending to. So I do have to be realistic.

I am aware Easter just happened. What’s the relevance? Time for prayer? Possibly!

One of mine also was still using a nappy for poos at 4 maybe going up to 5 I can’t remember. Trained with wees from 3 but just refused to do poos on toilet/potty. No accidents , would ask for a nappy for a poo. I actually never pushed it and eventually it stopped. I don’t even remember when or how, it just happened naturally.
Did turn out to have ASD so was potentially sensory related.

I don’t work full time and at present am not working at all. Some posts are sounding uncomfortably like daily mail headlines.

There’s a lot of misinformation on here op. Hopefully he’s just late to train, but it may well be a medical issue (voice of bitter experience!). My dd had chronic constipation, which initially confused me, as why was she then having accidents? But what happens is they get a build up of hard poo, then softer poo leaks around, which is the accident (lovely!). With the colon stretched, they can then lose the sensation of needing to go. If this is the case, no amount of reward charts will help, they can’t control it. I would speak to your GP, but the Facebook page Movicol Mummies is hugely helpful. He may need medication to clear things if he is constipated. By the way this issue is hugely common and can happen even with good diets.

Is there a 0-19 service in your area? Ours have a Facebook page you can contact them through and they can refer to relevant support.

OP I meant to add, my DD was the same. It took her a good 6 months to start pooing in the toilet. I didn't night train and every night without a doubt 15 mins after putting her nappy on and going to bed she'd be shouting us to say she had done a poo. She was at school by this point (school nursery but in a uniform so I classed it as school). I know you've had it for longer but it is really common. Issue is people don't talk about it so you think you're the only one.

Honestly do not worry.september is miles away just keep at it. My daughter is same age and in nappies and it hasn't phased the school,soo many people I know their kids werent ready atall by now then they get it really quick.my daughter was pooing constantly in her nappy all day round Christmas which was awful so I have implemented poo time in the morning first thing,before breakfast,shes got to sit there and watch alphablocks till the gets all the poos for the day,it can take a time and isn't 100 percent reliable but it maybe 97 percent reliable.i think her problem was the inability to sit still.you could try that or just keep going,be consistent and by September it will be fine.also schools are used to accidents that's very normal in a new setting etc.i would reply they are 99 percent potty trained and not worry just continue as you are doing,we are the opposite-working on wees!with sweets!

I'd rule out medical problem with GP - you can get overflow.

Some kids are just harder - DS has issue with occasional pooing pants though to year 1 - school was not great though they could have been worse. Yet one of our three kids trained early and easy.

With DS was a mix of him not being very aware of bodily functions generally - also gets in concentration zone - suspect some ND - it did stop it sort of trailed off though we did get some in potty or toilet with seat (oddly slight better with that for solids) along side wee though from off.

Also I went though phase of fermented foods seem to settled his stomach issues as well finally.

You still have a lot of time - preschool should be bit more understanding than school but I agree it's just frustrating - he will get them eventually though.

Yes, I echo this. Our diet was good - but I was letting him have too much milk and DS2 ended up constipated. Thinking about it, that probably explains the delay we had with his potty training - he was past 3, almost a year later than DS1.

Thanks. I’ll see about organising a GP appointment. It’s very very difficult to get one for non urgent issues and I may have to go private.