To reply that my child isn’t potty trained?

[whattosayy]

95% reliable for we
8 months after starting still soils pants - we’ve never had a poo on potty or toilet 😭

I have been on Eric contacted hv team etc but so I just need to accept he isn’t trained & may not be before school?

My DS was similar. We had a really easy time with his older sister; she potty trained in one week before her 3rd birthday.
We did everything the same with DS & he had NO interest. From the age of 2 we had the potty out; showed him what it was, got him to sit on; put him on it whilst running a bath etc. nothing. Tried chocolate buttons & toys as rewards.
By the time he was 3.5 we were getting desperate. He was due to start school 3 months after his 4th birthday.
When ended up going cold turkey - no nappies (except at night), no pull-ups, just pants. We also used a reward chart with stickers which would get him a toy after the sheet was completed. But there was So many accidents. Two memorable times - being presented with 6 changes of wet/wee'd on clothes at preschool - he'd gone through all his own & was in lost & found stuff! Another when he was sat next to his potty, I had to leave the room to cook dinner, told DS if he needed a wee to use the potty next to him. Came back in 5mins later & he was sat in a puddle of wee on the carpet, still next to the potty!
But. It did get better gradually. Whilst going cold turkey was really hard for several months it worked. Ultimately DS was just very lazy & couldn't be bothered, but once he realised there were consequences to it he started to take notice. And now (he's nearly 6) he's fine. Odd accident every few months, usually if he's distracted & puts off going, but now he's fully trained both day & night.

I’ll obviously keep going but realistically it hasn’t been effective so far so it may continue to be the case. It’s been a long time!

I started when he was 2 1/2 but it didn’t work at all. Tried again three months later and he got the wees eventually but poo just isn’t happening. If it was hit and miss I wouldn’t mind but it’s just miss.

Yes I understand. Its not like you haven't been trying and must feel like it's never ending

OP, I'm no expert but was told by our nursery teacher not to continue with soiling pants - don't let that be what the child thinks is "normal".

She recommended that "potty training" consist of extensive bribery with sweets and stickers for 3-4 days, then if accidents continue beyond that timeframe, decide not ready yet and have a reset -

Reset options are either take a few days AL and stay home with him naked from the waist down - strictly no leaving the house and garden, no wearing anything from the waist down during the days - until he gets it! Nuclear!

Or, if that doesn't work or you don't have the time/headspace, then to go back into nappies until you're all ready to try again with the potty/loo and another round of bribery!

I realise this may be no use to you if the soiling has already become normal for your child, but just sharing in case of help to others who find the thread.

Wish you all the best whatever you decide to do!

@DiamondArtists - what crucial window??

Op don't listen to this nonsense.

My little boy only stopped using nappies just before he was 4. You've still got plenty of time and it seems to me to be fairly common for poos to be tricky.

Keep trying, but September is still a long time away.

Have you spoken to the school about your concerns? What have they said?

What are you on about? Stop being goady.

My son is 26 months. He has a speech delay so can't tell me if he needs a wee etc. I doubt he is ready yet either and I will be wasting my time probably for a while yet. I am sure he will though.

My daughter I did start at that age. May as well not bothered. She wouldn't sit down on the damn potty.

Every child is different. Don't blame the OP. Unless you can give her proper advice sod off.

Rubbish.
Please stop posting unhelpful made up stuff

Do see the GP. My DS wasn't reliably clean when he started school. Some of it was constipation related.

How!? I’m not asking anyone to do it for me but we are where we are. Starting at 2 is not too late: it’s perfectly standard. Stop being ridiculous.

I think like I say … if he was getting it but had a lot of accidents that’s one thing but he just soils his pants normally when we’re about to go somewhere

It is hard because he’s not on a schedule with poo at all. So I can’t really make him sit on the toilet for five hours!

Where is he now for childcare? He doesn’t have to go to school preschool. If he’s currently with a childminder or at a private nursery I’d stick with that to take the pressure off and keep on trying in the meantime.

It’s preschool they’ll have to take him nappy or not. Both mine went to the preschool part of school in nappies but were sorted by reception.
Preschool will try and get him potty trained, this may be very successful as he sees others using the loo/potty and they’ll have an excellent routine. This or they’ll have as much trouble as you and will be much more effective at getting help than you’ll ever be.

He’s at a private nursery at the moment. It’s not the best for logistics with pick ups and drop offs but may have to rethink.

I'd stick with trying every day, and using private childcare until he is reliable, school will be such a struggle if this is still going on

Have you downloaded the "poo goes to pooland" app. He might like to watch that. I was also given the suggestion of blowing bubbles sitting on the toilet, some books/magazines/toys in a basket to get them to stay sitting on the toilet plus distractioning them. It might be he founds it a bit scary. Unfortunately mine didn't get poos for a long time even with outside help and did it in her own time.

Don't panic. My son didn't do a poo on the toilet until a month before his 4th birthday. You cannot force it. His pre-school weren't at all bothered and , although most children start using the toilet earlier, it is still 'normal' for a child his age.

Sometimes even if you try within that time frame it isn’t possible - my dc have SEN and one is still in pull ups at 7 and the other at 3.5- school understand and they just change them as have a policy for children who need that extra help. Sometimes putting pressure on makes things worse and children will get there in their own time

Yeah we’ve got poo goes to poo land and the bubbles (which he thought were brilliant but did not produce a poo!)

One of mine was very insistent that poos were in a nappy, more than happy to use potty for a wee. In the end it was bribery that cracked the problem. Child saw a toy they really wanted when we were shopping, I agreed it was lovely (it was a brightly coloured monstrosity) but explained that because I had to buy more nappies I didn't have money for the toy. The following day the poo was in the potty and the day after that the toy was bought.

Probably a terrible way to do things but it worked.

Not terrible at all. DS is promised a paw patrol toy for when he poos in the toilet but it just hasn’t worked unfortunately.

It’s absolutely can be a medical problem!

for example urinating at night is to do with a hormone that needs to be kicked in and sometimes takes a while

i mean I’d go to the drs but they’re unlikely to do anything wh this point. My friends daughter didn’t see someone till she was 8!! We had kids in reception still in nappies.

however I wouldn’t just accept it. I’d be trying everything including the dr.

Can you just start him in school next year instead and give him some more time?

Oh I get it can be a medical problem but I don’t think it is. I’ll try to get a GP appointment for the summer but realistically I’m not sure what they can do. His diet is very good, shouldn’t be constipated.

Sorry. I thought he was nearing 5! He’s so young still! Don’t worry so much. Keep trying. You’ve got this ♥️