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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend shouldn't have eaten my burger?

237 replies

knowledgeablyclueless · 17/04/2024 11:26

Out for dinner a couple of nights ago.

Me and DP, friend and her BF, and another friend.

All paying for our own food.

I ordered a burger but didn't finish it all, so offered it to DP. He said Yes please, but let me finish mine first.

Immediately after that, friend said 'Oh could I try a bite first?' - she ate about half of what was left, then proceeded to offer it to her DP, and when he said no, our friend.

AIBU to think this was fucking weird? Me and DP were both a bit like, Erm, wtf to say something at the time!

OP posts:
Pottedpalm · 17/04/2024 12:13

What’s odd is that you didn’t just say no, DP wants it. Simples.

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/04/2024 12:47

How big was this burger

You ate half.

Dp Was going to have it after his

Friend ate half of a half so
A quarter

And then offered to her dp and friend

Why didn't your dh say hands off that's mine

Nanny0gg · 17/04/2024 12:53

FranticHare · 17/04/2024 11:33

You didn't want it, she ate a couple of bites, offered back to your OH who said no. Why shouldn't she finish it? Better than binning it surely, and her finding something else to eat (assuming she was hungry)?

I mean it would be nicer if she had cut off a piece to try - but that doesn't seem what you were worried about?

She offered it to her partner and the other friend first!

Preachingtotheconverted · 17/04/2024 12:54

Was it one of these OP?

To think my friend shouldn't have eaten my burger?
Hoppinggreen · 17/04/2024 12:55

Stop biting into eachothers food, its gross. Cut a bit off
Solves 2 problems

therealcookiemonster · 17/04/2024 13:28

statetrooperstacey · 17/04/2024 11:38

It r sounds like she didn’t fully hear or comprehend the arrangement between you and your DH tbh rather than anything else , also how big was this burger?!!!

as big as the chicken that lasts 5 days or a mumsnet massive salad by the sounds of it

OhSighAgain · 17/04/2024 13:29

I think it's a bit rude that you only offered the burger to your husband and not the rest of the table.

I wouldn't have done what your friend did but maybe she was trying to make a point about your rudeness.

GalileoHumpkins · 17/04/2024 13:30

memyselfi · 17/04/2024 11:42

Weird and actually gross . Who wants a burger that someone else's mouth has touched ?
It was your DP's , he said yes . Her asking for it , basically slabbering over it and trying to give to to someone else , pure boke !
Not surprised your DP passed on it .

Slabbering?

PastaBaby2024 · 17/04/2024 13:33

Pottedpalm · 17/04/2024 12:13

What’s odd is that you didn’t just say no, DP wants it. Simples.

This. Everyone is unreasonable. Your friend for wanting a burger someone else slobbered over and meant for your DP. Gross and rude. And you for not saying anything and just watching it happen.

easylikeasundaymorn · 17/04/2024 13:43

Maglian · 17/04/2024 11:56

I mean , on the face of it yes it's rude, but if she is basically a nice person the simplest explanation is she didn't hear, or didn't process, your husband's reply.

How on earth is this the sinplest explanation -it doesn't make any sense
Friend must have heard Op asking if her dh wanted the burger to know that OP didn't want the rest and it was up for grabs in the first place

The only two answers to that question are yes and no. Its not a complicated question with hundreds of potential responses.

How likely is it that she could have "misheard" a "yes I want it" as the complete opposite "no offer it round the rest of the table?"

If she can't "process" the meaning of the phrase "yes once I've finished mine" she probably shouldn't be allowed out in public unaccompanied.

Why do people do this insane contortionist reaching to try and excuse a complete stranger?

Next someone will come along saying "you don't know what her finances are like, perhaps that burger is the only thing she's had to eat all week...shame on you for starving someone who is supposed to be your friend..."

1offnamechange · 17/04/2024 13:46

trippily · 17/04/2024 11:32

Sometimes I feel like people on mumsnet do not really like their friends? It must be lonely.

Wtf???
I like my friends. Doesn't mean I want three of them nibbling food I was planning on eating before I get round to it!

There's no indication that OP now hates and will forever shun her friend due to this one incident. She's just asking if it was odd/rude behaviour. Which it was.

betterangels · 17/04/2024 13:47

knowledgeablyclueless · 17/04/2024 11:34

No, she offered it to HER OH, who said no, and then when her OH said no, she offered it to our friend. Before she asked to try a bite, MY DP had already said Yes please.

That's extremely weird. I'd be asking her wtf she was doing. You said she could have a bite while your partner finished his meal--not that she could pass food around the entire bloody table.

That said, you should have said no from the off. You'd already offered it to one other person, who'd said yes.

Crunchymum · 17/04/2024 13:55

How much burger are we talking about?

Did she hear you offer it to your DP?

MichaelFlatulence · 17/04/2024 14:25

IncompleteSenten · 17/04/2024 11:53

Yabu OP.

When you offered your spaghetti to your daughter and she said no thanks, it would only have gone to waste if your father hadn't said he'd have it.

It was kind of your father to then offer the rest of it to the stranger dressed in the clown suit sitting at the next table and I'm not sure why you're even mentioning the horse you had tied up at the bar, it doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything.

I know, totally in line with current policy.

Original poster
knowledgeablyclueless · 17/04/2024 14:26

OhSighAgain · 17/04/2024 13:29

I think it's a bit rude that you only offered the burger to your husband and not the rest of the table.

I wouldn't have done what your friend did but maybe she was trying to make a point about your rudeness.

What? Why would my DP NOT get first dips on a meal we are paying for?!

And how would that go? "Who at the table wants my left over burger? First to stand up gets it!"

OP posts:
Original poster
knowledgeablyclueless · 17/04/2024 14:27

Crunchymum · 17/04/2024 13:55

How much burger are we talking about?

Did she hear you offer it to your DP?

Yes because she said "Can I try some FIRST?"

I thought she would take one bite and hand it back, not then pass it round the table like a hot potato!

OP posts:
Ledci · 17/04/2024 14:31

I'm probably missing the point here but who wants to eat a burger that other people have taken bites from 🤢

LittleGlowingOblong · 17/04/2024 14:33

Is your friend squeezed by the cost of living, @knowledgeablyclueless ?

diddl · 17/04/2024 14:36

Yes because she said "Can I try some FIRST?"

I thought she would take one bite and hand it back, not then pass it round the table like a hot potato!

So your partner was OK with her having some of what was now his burger?

Is "some" just one bite?

OliveWah · 17/04/2024 14:39

I've just reread the OP and realised that I missed a bit, so my comment didn't make sense - hence this edit, sorry!

IndecentPropolis · 17/04/2024 14:42

FranticHare · 17/04/2024 11:33

You didn't want it, she ate a couple of bites, offered back to your OH who said no. Why shouldn't she finish it? Better than binning it surely, and her finding something else to eat (assuming she was hungry)?

I mean it would be nicer if she had cut off a piece to try - but that doesn't seem what you were worried about?

I sometimes wonder at people’s reading comprehension skills.

The friend didn’t offer it back to OPs DP. She offered it to her OWN DP.

xsquared · 17/04/2024 14:42

I'm also astonished by the stretching some posters are doing to excuse greedy friend's behaviour and try and turn this into OP being rude for not offering it to her friend first.

If OP had offered it to everyone then you'll be telling OP is rude for assuming her friends would want something she's bitten into amd handled.

2024istheyearforme · 17/04/2024 14:46

Yanbu and obviously the first person you should offer it to is your DP -_- gosh people are so weird.

Tbh though I would find it odd that my friend after having a meal would want my half eaten burger in the first place .... but hey ho

She obviously heard your DP say he wanted it so she was weird to ask to try it AND then hand it round like it's a sharing platter I mean that's really odd.

SuperGreens · 17/04/2024 14:47

Dirty and rude, sharing food with your partner is obviously fine as you share a fair bit more than that. But for a friend to start gobbling down food from someone elses plate is gross. And then the rudeness of it being already claimed by your DP. Was she drunk?

ineedtostopbeingdramaticfirst · 17/04/2024 14:49

It's gross and rude