Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

[Moonfishstar]

… and not write off the majority of men who are under 6 foot (85%).

Women seem to be fighting for a small proportion of men - with the disappointment that will inevitably bring to the many who inevitably won’t succeed. Of course, it’s even crapper for the good,
but short, men out there.

Of course, we all fancy who we fancy, and I’m not saying we should date shorter (or even average!) men out of pity or a “sense of fairness”, but how much of women’s desire to bag a tall guy is actually societal, and down to how they think other women will view them?

I agree, I think it's shallow in the same way some men prefer big breasted women etc. Possibly it is also seen as an indicator of other body part sizes, although that is a fallacy

There is evidence that thin women get better jobs , tall men get promoted more etc etc it's all there

there is an instinctive brain element to chose ( for any reason ) the person who is healthiest looking - and height is from an animal perspective a good indicator of health and good diet . Similarly we chose people who have symmetric features - another instinctive good health indicator

Like Any other instinctive response such as to someone's sex or skin colour , we need to consciously chose to not let it influence out behaviour and assumptions but that is very hard

And in terms of who you feel attracted to, it will be difficult to shift because attraction is a lot about those base instincts

Indeed.

I haven't read such utter piffle on here in quite some time.

So people are shallow for having their preferences and what they’re attracted to? That’s ridiculous.

I think it is a demographic thing as in dating on apps. I don’t know anybody who met their partner/husband/wife and friendship group all metropolitan old millennials, is it a Gen Z thing but not all Gen Z, perhaps people more interested in looks than intelligence and personality.

Moonfishstar · Today 13:37

Ffs, just because I posted this doesn’t mean I’m a short incel male! I’m not!
Taller men are more attractive in my opinion - I’m just trying to work out whether that’s just me, or society.

So ... if you yourself admit to finding ''taller men more attractive'' then what are you trying to work out exactly?

Ask yourself why you find taller men more attractive.

Presumably you will then have your answer as to why, on a website where people are asked if they have preferences, that is what they put.

I don't doubt it's a thing, but as PP have said, both sexes can be picky about potential partners for a number of reasons, some of them shallow. (And then some of them complain about not being able to find anyone and how there aren't any good men/women available.) I wouldn't say it's any worse to rule out a man because he's not tall than to rule out a woman because she doesn't have the desired proportions or a pretty face.

This thread comes from a slightly different perspective to normal, OP should have done the normal one about fearing for her poor pygmy offspring and it would have gone more normally

Height has never been a consideration for me but I'm only 5'1 so it's not something that happens very often. I've only ever met one man shorter than me and even most women are taller than me too.

Still though, everyone has a criteria and if they are ruling out a large chunk of the dating pool because of it then that's their perogative.

If I were to date again I would look for someone reasonably intelligent. Someone who couldn't add 2 and 2 together just wouldn't do it for me long term. Likewise being able to hold down a job but not be a workaholic. I could be ruling out a lot of men but that's my criteria, same as women with height criteria.

I'm female and 5ft 5. Pretty average height for a woman. DH is 6ft. I like his height. We met irl so I didn't have his stats when we met.

If I was single and dating men, I'd be open to shorter than 6ft although I wouldn't date someone shorter than me in small heels, but I don't think that's a huge ask given the average man in the UK is 5ft 9.

I went out with a bloke who was about the same height as me. It never even registered about his and my height, but when we went out one night and I wore heels, he was absolutely livid and said he felt emasculated!

So the problem is also men who don't like tall women.

I mean bloody hell, In Spiderman, the actress Zendaya who played M.J alongside Tom Holland is taller than Tom, but Hollywood made damned sure she wasn't the tallest on screen. Whether she had to be lower or he was placed on a step so they could be the same height, it is just bat shit.

Society says men should be taller than women.

I'm 5ft 7.5" and so a lot of men are my height, but the only people who have ever had a problem with that is other men.

Quite. MN mothers do seem to be irrationally proud of their sons’ heights!

@KimberleyClark I have a very good male friend who thinks like this!

He genuinely thinks his height is the only thing going for him but he’s so much more than that. His personality and behaviour far outshine his height and good looks.

I prefer short men and he literally cannot get his head around that, thinks every woman wants a tall man.

I don’t know anyone who thought they needed a tall man. Kind and funny are more valued in my group.

I prefer tall men but have indeed dated average height men. In truth, 6ft 2 and above is my preference.

I’m 5ft 1.5. Most adults are taller than me. DH is 5ft 7 and perfect for me.

I’ve often seen people saying on here that such and such a celeb is gorgeous but disappointingly short.

As a pp said, sexual attraction is not an equal opportunities employer.

I've been rejected for : being blonde, being white, having a small arse, various facial features, being too tall, being too 'mannish', lanky, girly, low maintenance, high maintenance, uptight and too wild.

And yes, having been bullied for not fitting the petite bill, which society places far more importance on than any male attribute (see any romcom) I think I reserve the right to date someone who doesn't make me feel too tall and big.

Admittedly as a tall girl, I've taken someone from the average for a bloke, only a bit taller than me pool, so perhaps I will get excused for that.

I mean height wasn't my priority. My hubby seemed cool, kind and had nice hair. And I don't mean a nice guy as in the incel sense. He's my cup of tea but not everyone's. I'm glad we are allowed to reject and like who we like and I didn't have to submit some sort of monitoring form.

I think so. And it’s the way they often want to be given things as “recognition” of their tallness that might benefit others as well.

For example, someone who suffers from car sickness may need to sit in the front seat. Someone who is tall doesn’t need this as the seat moves forward and backwards and can be moved to accommodate them. They can have the same amount of room in the back. But they make a huge fuss about “needing the front seat”. Often at the expense of the co owner of the car, whose spouse is driving.

Someone who is claustrophobic needs an aisle seat on a plane or other scenario where space is limited - in fact it’s of little benefit to someone tall as you can’t sit with your legs in the aisle on a plane anyway - you either have enough room or you don’t. If you don’t you need to book extra legroom But they MUST have the aisle and trumpet the fact they MUST have it - they can’t even just book it quietly and sit there, like others do. Men who have tall man syndrome will want it taken from someone else in recognition of their achievement.

Someone with a bad back may need a comfortable firm bed, or a bigger bed, or someone who is pregnant or even fat might need the bigger bed if people are staying at another’s house as part of a group, or guest accommodation. But someone with tall man syndrome will have to have the best bed because, you see, they’re tall.

Now this is not all tall men, but this is what I mean by tall man syndrome.

It should depend on the height of the woman, surely. I kind of expect a partner to be taller than me, but I'm 5'5 so not too much of an ask. If you are 5 nothing I dk why you would need a man a foot plus taller? I guess to reach lightbulbs?
Men don't seem to mind women's height. My dad was 5'7 and said if the woman was taller he can always use a ladder, haha.
It's no guarantee of penis size, if that's what people are hoping. But there is such a thing as short man syndrome, if the person has confidence issues it'll make them worse?

I can’t think of a couple I know where the woman is taller, so it’s I think it’s the relative height that matters. There are other factors though. Maybe both wives of millionaire Bernie Ecclestone (5’2”) were overcome by his sparkling personality.

When they’ve got hollow legs, play sports for their country and polish off a box of cereal and a loaf of bread when they eat toast, it’s no wonder they’re all 6 footers at age 13 though. I suppose if it wasn’t for them only getting a tiny portion of chicken as a chicken feeds 10 for 2 weeks, they’d be even taller. 🤣

I’m kind of with you on this a bit. I am 5’8, so tallish for a woman. I always had in mind that I was only interested in men who are a good bit taller than me - so 6’2 plus really.

Then I met DH, he’s the same height as me. So smallish for a man, and on paper I would have ruled him out as too small (and I was internet dating at the time!) but he was funny, and attractive to me, so I dated him. But I literally had to give my brain a talking to that it was not weird to date a guy the same height as me! Mad!

Now, I really like that we’re the same size, it’s like a visual representation of the equality in our relationship 🤣

Exactly the same. I'm 5'9 and my husband is 6'2.
Tallest I've ever dated was 6'8 and I loved feeling 'small' compared to him.
I'll admit to preferring if my husband was 6'4 or above as then I'd be smaller in heels

Never a problem for (multi-millionaire) me!

🤣🤣🤣🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮