Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

[Moonfishstar]

… and not write off the majority of men who are under 6 foot (85%).

Women seem to be fighting for a small proportion of men - with the disappointment that will inevitably bring to the many who inevitably won’t succeed. Of course, it’s even crapper for the good,
but short, men out there.

Of course, we all fancy who we fancy, and I’m not saying we should date shorter (or even average!) men out of pity or a “sense of fairness”, but how much of women’s desire to bag a tall guy is actually societal, and down to how they think other women will view them?

I'm really really small by bloke standards and have never personally encountered this anywhere in my real life, although it's a very common theme with online dating and is also a common discussion on here.

But in my life no one has ever said "you're too small I can't go out with you"

They might have thought it and just been polite though but it's not been something I've really had to think about

I know absolutely loads of men under 6' - some of them are really quite short and they're all paired up, so this is obviously nonsense in the real world. I can think of several couples I know where the man is shorter.

Having said that, I'm very tall and have only once been in a relationship with someone smaller than me - not just shorter but quite petite, and he made me feel like total shit because of his insecurities. I ended up feeling like an elephant (I really wasn't) and have not looked at a short man since.

Eh? I’ve never met anyone who said height was a problem.

Ditto. (But I'm not 6')

The fact that I am much bigger than my DH would make it even worse if he was shorter than me.

It is the only "rule" I had when dating.

As the average woman is (allegedly) 5'5" there are plenty who wouldn't want a guy over 6'!

Of course, we all fancy who we fancy, and I’m not saying we should date shorter (or even average!) men out of pity or a “sense of fairness”, but how much of women’s desire to bag a tall guy is actually societal, and down to how they think other women will view them?

I can only speak for myself but it's definitely a case of the former for me.

but how much of women’s desire to bag a tall guy is actually societal, and down to how they think other women will view them

I can’t speak for other women, only myself. I couldn’t give two frogs how other women see me. Just don’t care, never have. Historically I’ve never been attracted to a man under 6’, I didn’t ever limit myself to men over 6’, just never been attracted to anyone under. I’m short, pretty much on 5’. I’m sure that there have likely been men who didn’t find my height attractive, and nor were they obliged to. So what?

I love a shorty! Any "short" man I've ever dated has assumed I'm sacrificing something.

I don’t mind shorter men, what I do mind is shorter men who are chippy about it. I matched with a guy on a dating app, the first thing he wrote in response to my opening message was “have you read my profile” which I thought was a bit abrupt, I responded with a “yes, of course” and then I got a voice note back saying had I seen his height on there going on and on. I had seen it, it hasn’t bothered me, but it was such a turn off that the first 3 messages I had from him were banging on about it. No height doesn’t bother me…it does bother a lot of men though.

Yeah in real I don’t know anyone that cares apart from the whole wanting the guy to be taller than them. I’m 5ft 5 and dh is 5ft7.

I do think this is a dating app phenomenon rather than something that generally happens in real life.

I notice that the women on Love Island always yap on about wanting tall men. I suppose to make them feel even more petite and miniscule.

I agree but I feel the same way about tall men who want prizes for it.

You mean, you don't want men to rearrange their preferences en masse so that you can fairly compete with taller women - and this isn't the reason why you are terminally online, complaining about how life isn't fair and pathologising the people who wont accommodate you in their dating pool? How completely reasonable...

I doubt most women go around carrying a tape measure to see or know simply by looking at a man if he is 6 ft tall when they themselves are average height. I can only recall one friend in my life that said she only dated really tall men but she herself was short and wore heels to be average height. The men she introduced me to when she dated them, were 5’9 and taller.

I think it is just a social norm made by men that has been passed down through the generations of how they themselves saw masculinity and attributed tallness as a masculine feature and put a number on it as a measure. The whole “tall, dark, and handsome” phrasing was coined by a male writer.

Very surprised at how many responses state this isn't a thing.... I would absolutely say it is!! And no snark meant - perhaps its reflective of a certain demographic (millennials?) using dating apps and just doesn't apply in the same way elsewhere.

I'm 5'10" tall (and partnered up to someone slightly taller than me) and I totally get wanting someone taller. But I am also surprised at the number of women who, like a friend, are 5'2", and wont as a real rule date anyone under 6'. It'd feel like me insisting on 6'8"+ ers!

If you borrow a hetero male friend's phone and scroll through a dating app you'll see many a request for 6'+ only.

I don't know any women at all who refuse to date someone under 6ft.

I think most of my friends would rather not date a man who was shorter than they are, but as none of my friends are single, clearly this restriction hasn't been a problem for them.

I'm 5'2", so pretty much all men are taller than I am and I never really even thought about height back in my dating years. DP is about 5'9" I think.

Not sure why you're hung up height rather than any other characteristic. Everyone has things they do/don't find attractive, whether it's height, weight, facial features, hair or whatever.

This is a thing and there is absolutely tons of evidence for it. Don’t know why so many MNers are in denial.

I've not seen this evidence. Can you link it?

This is a spoof article but there is some truth in it.

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/tall-man-thinks-its-an-achievement-20190215182505

I'm short, I have zero interest in tall men - I don't want to be craning my neck to look up at them!

Plenty of people already have. Read the thread.

I see women being criticised for being too picky with men, but id say men are more picky than women.

If you got off the internet and walked around in society, you wouldn’t find most men under 6ft walking round single.

This bullshit is trotted out on those sad little podcasts full of mysoginists who extrapolate the behaviour of a portion of women to the entire population.

I have read the thread. The links were either repeating the same single study about one dating app, or actually describing "taller" men as 5ft 9 and above.

So if you could please read the thread and then post some of the "tons of evidence" you mentioned, that'd be great to discuss.

I think everyone should be picky when choosing a partner.

AIBU Thinking that men would benefit if they were more open minded about prettiness/boob size/weight/height/age in a potential partner