Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

[Moonfishstar]

… and not write off the majority of men who are under 6 foot (85%).

Women seem to be fighting for a small proportion of men - with the disappointment that will inevitably bring to the many who inevitably won’t succeed. Of course, it’s even crapper for the good,
but short, men out there.

Of course, we all fancy who we fancy, and I’m not saying we should date shorter (or even average!) men out of pity or a “sense of fairness”, but how much of women’s desire to bag a tall guy is actually societal, and down to how they think other women will view them?

Given that the majority of men are under 6 ft, and that the majority of men are not single, I'm going to suggest you're talking bollocks @Moonfishstar .

My 5ft9 arse has never struggled to find a girlfriend at least.

I also have some very petite friends (and yes some of them had some very tall partners!), and tbh standing next to my friends is worse for my self-esteem than having a shorter male partner. Especially when I was an overweight teenager and they were very slim. But I'm not gonna ditch my friends because they're 5'2 and making ME insecure! So I wouldn't miss out on a great guy I find attractive because he's shorter than me either. I find it's actually often the petite women who have these height rules set in stone.

Having read replies, I’m thinking that OLD is skewing things massively - with the surveys based on those…

We are generally inundated on OLD with male “likes”, even if many of them aren’t really actually interested and “swipe right” for the hell of it, so we tighten our preferences to try and filter down the numbers, so we might put an idealised 6ft minimum, knowing that we’ll still get lots of likes …. even if we’d be perfectly happy if we met a good 5ft 9 guy in real life.

It’s a bit like if the tables were turned and men we’re inundated with women on OLD… If there was a “bra size”
preference, most men would probably select D cup + to try and narrow down the numbers… and all those with smaller boobs would feels rejected… when actually most of those men would be quite happy with a hot woman with an A or B cup that they met in real life!

Hahaha, I can assure you that isn't the case! 😆

There are stats and there are stats OP.

85% of men are not single. Which indicates that stats based on attitudinal research indicating that ‘women
are only interested in (very) tall men’ may not actually translate to behaviour.

The huge natural experiment of
life clearly shows that men of any height can and do find female partners. There may be other variables that explain any statistical patterns favouring taller men.

It easily does get quite incel-y when people start oversimplifying and complaining that women are all just meanies for ignoring the short guys.

In my anecdotal experience, the short men who don’t have a weird chip on their shoulder about height tend to be more successful in finding and maintaining relationships than the ones who are weird and bitter about it. But, I don’t actually think things would be better for the men I know in the latter category - looking at you in particular, STBXH! - if they were 6’2 rather than 5’5. I think these particular men would just find a different avenue for projecting their own feelings of inadequacy on to everyone else. The problem is generally personality rather than height.

Interestingly, I do have one friend who has ruled out men who are under 6ft, but she also requires them to be devastatingly handsome too! She’s only 5ft 1” so there is no way she needs a tall man, but she admits that for her physical beauty is every thing, whereas my non-negotiable is intelligence - I could never fancy a dumbo no matter how gorgeous he was! However, none of my other friends have height as a criterion - not even the one who is 5ft 10 !

Yeah, I think it’s more a product of the OLD “economy” than actual preferences. I think women do still tend to prefer taller men, all other things being equal, but OLD exaggerates the phenomenon due to the forces at play.

Have you name changed or is this the first thread you have posted on?

I wonder if men are on forums lowering each other's expectations in this way.

I'll actually agree with you that most women want someone taller than them, and vice versa. But given that the average male height is taller than the average female height, no-ones exactly cutting anyone out of their dating pool are they?

I'm four inches taller than my husband and some people are very weird about it. I'm very tall for a woman and he's shorter than average for a man, but he had no qualms about my height, so why should I his?

To be honest, yes, I do like to feel feminine and small, but it rarely happens anyway and being tall is not the main thing I'd look for in a partner. I'd be severely restricting my dating pool anyway.

I do feel bad about how some women (and sometimes men!) treat short men, though most shorter men end up finding someone anyway and it's not like it's only men over 6' who ever have sex or find relationships. Yes, some girls are cruel or misguided on dating apps, but at least you know who is shallow and to be avoided! Short men who have a chip on their shoulder and make anger about height their whole personality do themselves no favours though. It might be harder, but you have to put yourself out there. To be honest, it's pretty hot when a shorter man carries himself with confidence or can have a sense of humour about his height.

Interestingly, men taller and shorter than me who have shown interest in me have never had a problem about their/my height. It was only ever the men around my height who gave me a hard time, told me not to wear heels and felt 'emasculated' by my being tall.

So in terms of BU...a bit of both. Some truth in it, some of it a bit exaggerated.

I think the notion that all men generally find a partner no matter what their height is potentially changing though for Gen Z. The number of 25 year old virgins has skyrocketed over the past decade. Hypergamy seems to be more of a thing in the young than it was.

😆

This made me howl.

But it is true!!!

😂

My first proper boyfriend was the same height as me (5'6"). I didn't have a problem with it but he did! He always asked me no to wear heels (which, back then, were part of my identity, flat shoes did not exist in my world). He had such a hang up about it that it eventually became a real 'ick' factor in our relationship and I ended it.
He obviously matured, made peace with his height etc etc as his wife is over 6ft tall and wears heels!!

I prefer tall men. In my younger (dating) days I only really wanted a tall man.

I can appreciate a good looking short man, but I wouldn't have considered them when dating.

I do think now I would be more open minded though if anything were to happen to DH (God forbid)

Interestingly, men taller and shorter than me who have shown interest in me have never had a problem about their/my height. It was only ever the men around my height who gave me a hard time, told me not to wear heels and felt 'emasculated' by my being tall.

Me too!!!! I think shorter men just resign themselves to their true height from day 1 and learn to make a joke of it. It’s the ones around 5’8 or 9 who insist they’re 6 foot when they’re not. I’m 5’8 and have had loads of ‘you can’t be 5’8 because you’re the same height as me and I’m 6 foot’ 😂

before I met and married mr Momager, I had a very set type. Tall. well built but not muscular (like no body builders) Two amazing men, but just could not get there with them emotionally (but looked bloody great back in the day on their arms lol) One was 6'4 the other 6'7. And then I met my husband. Not my type at ALL. Blond hair, blue eyes and only 5'10. I am 5'4 in shoes so still taller than me but not what I had thought was my physical type. AT ALL. Best man on the planet..best husband I could have asked for ever in this life. And my husband (was) is more muscular , but now...dad bod all the way. Which I am still so attracted to!!

I'm a 6'1 female and I was never overly concerned about height of a potential partner. My now husband is 6'2" but remarkably (and prior to him) shorter men were never serious about a relationship and/or threatened by my height to the point they fixated on it in several conversations often talking themselves out of taking it further, or realising they felt emasculated being with a woman taller than they are. I fully understand most women are not my height, but I just wanted to mention this as it isn't always a woman being closed minded about height.

Online men all lie - the short ones are the worst.

So I joined an app and got over 600 likes within a few days. I am not a model. I am way too short! 😂 I guess most men swipe right on most women. So yes I will be a bit fussy because I don’t want to date or communicate with 600 strangers. Height isn’t on my criteria. Brains and a type are. But for the right person I would sway anyhow!

I just want a man breathing tbh.

My late husband was 6ft 4 it wasn’t his height that attracted me. It was his striking blue eyes.

I’m 5’3” and dated from 5’5” up to 6’2”. Married 5’9”
Heights never been something I cared about. Happy to have more choice if some women are limiting themselves but don’t honestly think that many are.

My husband is comparatively short - 5’10 max. I’m comparatively tall, so he’s not much taller than I am.

It bothers him more than it does me (ie not at all). If I’m honest, I would not want to be taller than him. Our 2 sons are both over 6’.

It shouldn’t matter, but I think most men would not relish being on the short side and I know many women that’ve said ‘I couldn’t date a short guy’.

It’s never been a thing that’s bothered me. Why should the male partner always be the taller one? I have dated men 6’6” to 5’7” and I’m 5’9”. The short bloke dumped me for being too tall-true story. He’s a twat and I saw he married a much shorter than him woman but she seems boring. He didn’t get married until well into his 40’s I wonder if he was holding out for a shorter woman to be interested, his girlfriend before me was also tall.