to expect host to let her party guests know that she has a no shoes policy?

[JustABitOfUncertainty]

I went to a posh party with DH on Saturday. It was a fundraising event for a wheelchair and a hospital bed, hosted by a school mum who has a child in the same year as one of mine. (The fundraised wasn't for her child btw). We NEVER go to parties, certainly not posh ones. We are both shy introverts, but we definitely wanted to show our support for this one.

Anyway, I have this beautiful halter neck top and matching trousers from Reiss from about 20 years ago, still looks brand new, as I very rarely wear it. I am only 5.2", and the trousers drag on the floor until I put my Esska platforms on, and then voila, the whole outfit comes together and I feel a million dollars.

Upon arrival to the party I saw there was a huge pile of shoes and saw the people before us removing their shoes. The host stood there almost blocking the entrance until the guests were barefoot. I am not exaggerating when I say that I really wanted to turn around and leave. Instead, I had to remove my platforms and feel like a 5 year old in her mummy's clothes, constantly pinching my trousers upwards so I wouldn't walk on them.

I know that there was an episode in sex and the city about something similar and I detest the Carrie character, but I empathise with her on this one.

It could have been worse, as I contemplated wearing a cocktail dress which would have meant putting on my toeless tights, how embarrassing would that have been!!

AIBU that there should have been a note on the invitation so that guests could have chosen their outfit accordingly?

Tradesmen take shoes off? I call bullshit, tradesmen need to wear shoes for a number of safety reasons (to protect feet from dropped items/ground electricity/stop slipping in case of wet or slippery floors) - my dh in fact has to wear footwear when doing his trade job as a condition of employer’s insurance.

Probably need to combine 'shoes off' with a verruca check. White rubber sock issued to the people who fail the check.

Ok Negligée’s feet make the point to all those saying it is polite to take shoes off.

It’s hardly polite to compel your guests to stomp round in Moria’s verruca trail, Bill’s athletes foot germs or to be confronted by Hilda’s bunion and Nigel’s black or fungal toenail.

What is polite is to coincide the party with your carpets being deep cleaned- which ought to happen relatively regularly anyway. But even if you don’t often. Pay to clean them, suck up the cost and do it as a one off. Or don’t strut your stuff as a posh party host who invites everyone to make an effort to dress up.

This. I’m not fussed generally but I always take mine off as find it more comfortable wandering about bare foot indoors. Kids tend to do it because they’ve copied me and 90% of visitors seem to do it automatically. Maybe they notice my bare feet and follow suit. I’ve been known to spend the day at work without my shoes on too though and people here seem to find that even ruder than shoes in the house. That I accept is unusual but I spend 90% of my day at my desk and I’m more comfortable slipping shoes off and leaving under it unless I’m at lunch or going to the toilets.

Yes I actually agree. But the poster was referring to tradesmen doing it and I do think their shoes are a totally different kettle of fish inside a house. But yes even they often keep them on. I don’t ask them not to.

But it’s also unsafe at a party. If you can’t have shoes on there should be plastic glasses or paper cups and beverages served from plastic bottles . With that and everyone in socks, slippers or bare feee it’s hardly sounding so posh and sophisticated.

To do the work no they don’t. When they come to quote quite often they do though. Our builder came back to quote an additional bit of work part way through our works and it was a mess and the floors were dirty and sometimes I still didn’t wear shoes and just washed my feet before I went into the bedroom that was the only bit of the house with cleanish carpets. Builder saw I had bare feet and offered to take his shoes off. I just laughed and said oh no I only am not wearing mine because I really rather hate shoes.

In addition to: shoes off, verruca check and white rubber sock; the modern host could also provide a swimming pool style foot bath at the front door. They could throw in a handful of corn plasters for the traditional look.

If you want to make it about class. The upper class (in their stately homes) wouldn’t dream of asking guests to stand around in stocking feet. I mean they would also have cleaners to mop the floor the day after. But it’s not a posh thing to ask people to take their shoes off to protect their carpets. It’s quite the opposite.

When people take shoes off in my house I'm astonished. I have a mop and bucket and a hoover.

I have only one friend who insists on this, but she at least provides moccasin type slippers for use.

I HATE having cold feet and never have uncovered feet at home.

Definitely not a "posh" party then if they expected people to socialise in their socks. I love being shoeless as much as possible but I don't expect guests to remove their shoes.

In someone's house - of course you take your shoes off. 😳

Hopefully not a shared moccasin

I’ve been asked once in my life to take my shoes off in someone’s house. It’s definitely not the norm in Ireland. Thankfully, I hate looking at people’s bare, socked or stockinged feet.

I had a new year's eve party once and a guest wore high platform heels while dancing and her heels made lots of indentations where she was dancing. I now wouldn't allow anyone with any heels other than ballet heels only. Mens shoes are ok. A typical oak engineered floor would be damaged by heels.

Maybe we're just more inclined to watch where we're walking and don't walk in dogshit every 10 paces?

Can you imagine the looks we'd get carrying on like that to visitors?

I hope you use them ASAP after their stinky bare feet have been all over your floors.

A shoes off party is most certainly not usually a posh party. I’ve only been to one posh party where it was stiletto shoes off (newly refurbished 250 year old parquet flooring) and it was both noted with much embarrassment on the invite and brand new sliders provided at the door for anyone who had spikey heels.

I’d go home. If the host is saying it’s their floor or my feet, I’m saving my feet.

Gosh mumsnet can be so educational! We're a 'shoe off household', which before I read this thread I genuinely didn't realise was an optional thing. I don't think I have ever, in my 37 years, been to a household which is a 'shoe on' location, unless it was a building site/undergoing construction of some sort. In fact many of my friends have house shoes (aka slippers) they offer their guests on arrival. I learn something new every time I visit this website.

Sorry @Megifer ! Your name autocorrects to negligée! How sexy😆!

If in her house of course shoes off. Strange if not .

I'd always assume that if something is hosted indoors in a private home, its shoes off.

The only people i know who wear shoes indoors are pil who are ridiculously upper crust & live in vast country home

Of course you don't, in my world, thank god!

Literally everyone I know is shoes on!!