Prostitute checked into our hotel!

[GrumpyL]

Ok, so away in London for a couple of days with DH and DD (10). We were staying in a 4* Hotel which is part of a large chain of hotels, not a small independent. We went to reception about 10.30 on the 2nd morning and was met with a lady (who was very obviously a prostitute) being told her room would be ready in 5 mins and her handing over £100 in cash to the receptionist. The hotel is £250+ a night and check in is 3pm!

AIBU to this this made the hotel feel a bit icky and sleazy after I saw that? Husband and I spoke briefly when DD wasn’t listening and he said “well they have to work somewhere!”. Not sure if I’m turning into a prude in my old age, but I really didn’t feel comfortable in the hotel after I saw that. I’m sure for her, it was a safe and comfortable place to work and I know this goes on in hotels, I suppose just seeing it in broad daylight shocked me a bit. We knew what she was there for, the receptionist knew what she was there for, the man behind us in the queue knew what she was there for, maybe I thought she and the hotel should have been a bit more discreet if they allow this to go on in their hotel, especially when it’s a family friendly hotel and there were a lot of children around?

This is not the same thing. Sex worker is a harmful term which legitimises the exploitation of women.

Just clapping along to the latest thing and agreeing the term before is now derogatory is just tedious virtue signalling which does more harm than good. it comes often from people who don’t bother to think about the implications or understand what actually goes on for themselves.

You are talking about removing stigma but why should we do that for a word which refers to, overwhelmingly, male exploitation of women? I’m all for criminalising the johns but I see no benefit to women of legitimising so called sex work. The benefit is for men.

You may see it as being different, but I don't think so. Sex worker can also be seen as a term that gives more rights to the individual as a worker in a certain trade rather than be relegated to the gutter. As for removing the stigma, the term is explicitly labelling the worker, not to the man availing of her services. So calling the woman a prostitute doesn't help your cause of holding men accountable.

As for virtue signalling, the same can be said of those who insist on calling the woman a prostitute. I could say that it is virtue signalling to make a show by being against the exploitation of woman so that it enable them to continue to be as derogatory as they like, and also deny women any agency. In fact these words like "virtue signalling" are also new fangled terms that people seem to be clapping along to as well when any factual argument fails.

Oh so the woman herself has no say over whether the sex was consensual? So what you are saying is it’s not actually possible to rape these women (after all their consent is all meaningless anyway). Disgusting attitude.

It's perfectly possible to rent rooms by the day via the Dayuse app. You book on the app and pay on arrival at the hotel. Check in is usually from 9am but can be later.You can pay cash or card and the rate tends to be £70-£100 although I have not used it in London. All the big chains are on the app: Hilton, Leonardo, Holiday Inn and Radisson amongst others. I am not a prostitute.

Yes but all you have to do is look at the actual evidence and you see that these women are abused and exploited. There was one who was meant to be this empowered sex worker on OF and it turned out she was being pimped out by her boyfriend. So much for her agency.

factual arguments don’t actually fail here. Because the evidence just reveals the extent of male depravity.

https://ressourcesfeministes.fr/2022/02/02/a-survivor-recounts-the-horror-of-prostitution/

anyway we won’t agree because you see it as a trade and I see it as slavery.

Escorts do not only use hotel rooms. Most offer incalls themselves so it ranges from renting a flat or a room in a shared flat/house or working from their own home even. Quite a few do use hotel rooms as their venue but by no means all.

A friend of a friend is an independent escort so this is how I know.

OP, how could they have handled it more discretely? Queue here for families/business/hookers/tourists?

Simply, none of your business.

I doubt the women and under age girls who are victims of human trafficking and sold into the sex industry would agree with you.

When do you think most of these transactions take place? In the dead of night? Of course she’s checking in during the day, she will have bookings made with men from all walks of life, some single, many married.

If she’s doing this independently it’s likely a choice that she’s made, on her terms, with her own boundaries. And I hope she’s happier than in a 9-5 earning a tiny proportion of what she can earn doing this instead.

When I was young and before the arrival of McDonald's on every high street, a Wimpy bar was a useful place to get a tea or coffee while waiting for your bus or train. But not after 10pm if you were a single female. Because, obviously, you were a prostitute, out alone and 'late' at night and they'd refuse to serve you. I was an ill informed young woman and had to have this explained to me after trying to get out of the rain until bus arrived. Amazed to see same attitude hanging on 50 years later.

How do women sold into the sex trade have ‘agency’ ?

How do underage girls sold into the sex trade have agency when they’re not even capable of consent ?

How does a ‘sex worker’ hooked on drugs by her pimp have ‘agency’?

‘Sex worker’ is a phrase designed to sanitise unpleasant factors so that men who avail themselves of their services don’t have to think about the fact that in the majority of cases they’re paying to rape them and perpetuate the misery. It’s not a trade. It’s just another form of slavery.

Paying in cash, room by the hour, could just as much be an affair she doesn't want detected on her credit card statement.

I don't think any of us need articles to tell us about the horrors of the sex trade. Despite all you post, my argument is that you still fail to show how calling the woman a prostitute helps to promote the cause you are espousing. In fact it demeans the woman and reduces protection for the very same women you say you are concerned about. The first step in recognizing human rights for these victims is removing the demeaning word we've stuck on their forehead since forever. Words do matter and even a slight change in a label has an effect on the psychology of these women. The woman in the article herself calls it the sex trade at times and not prostitution. However you are right in saying we don't see eye to eye on this and I've said what I have to say. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

80% of the profits from human trafficking are made from selling women and girls for the purposes of sexual exploitation to pay back the ‘debt’. And most countries with a legalised sex industry have higher levels of human trafficking. Do you think these women are engaging in consensual sex ?

The victims are often under age so by definition are incapable of giving consent.

Prostitutes are often hooked on drugs by their pimps as a means of control. Do you think they are engaging in consensual sex ?

And calling them a prostitute helps them how?

You must lead a very sheltered life. Virtually every hotel in London is used by sex workers (male and female). Either visiting guests or using the rooms as a base.
There's a notorious BDSM woman who based herself at Claridges for years for wealthy clients (she passed away during COVID). Male sex parties are very frequently held across London hotels.
Porn is also filmed and staged frequently in hotel rooms.

Did you not know this?

IF this woman was a sex worker...What angers me is why the woman is to blame here and slaughtered?! And the eww factor. If there wasnt men willing to pay for sex this woman wouldn't be there.

It doesn’t. But the terms ‘sex workers’, ‘sex trade’ or ‘sex industry’ are designed to detract from facts which most people would rather not think about. What it comes down to is that human trafficking and forced prostitution go hand in hand and traffickers aim for countries where prostitution is legalised or tolerated and therefore more profitable. And when men avail themselves of these services they would rather think of it in terms of a paid transaction with a ‘worker’ from a ‘trade’ or ‘industry’ than engage with the fact that there’s a high chance that what they’re actually doing is paying to rape a woman who has no choice but to submit because she’s indebted to human traffickers or hooked on drugs by her pimp, and possibly underage.

@Rosscameasdoody That is rather naive to think that calling women as prostitutes for longer than history can record has not stopped men from availing these services. As if men involved in this sprawling industry give a flying fig about terminology. The change of terminology is to afford dignity to the victim in how we call them. However, call them what you want. I was just presenting my opinion.

I see the OP lit the blue touch paper, returning only to state the woman paid cash and was obviously a prostitute. She has not returned to explain what was so obvious that it lead to her damning judgement of this woman.

l doubt the victim gives a ‘flying fig’ about what you call them. I would think educating men as to what they’re perpetuating when they pay for sex is more important to them. And whitewashing it with terminology designed to reduce it to a purely commercial transaction isn’t going to encourage critical thinking.

I stayed at a hotel this weekend. I arranged early check-in because that worked for my schedule and I paid in cash. I also got a large discount, because I put some club card points towards it when I booked.

I guess I'm a sex worker now. Oh well. Hopefully it'll pay better than teaching.

Men think with their dicks. It doesn’t matter what terminology is used, they’ll always do it. At least we can afford those women some dignity.

I'm More at shock at £250 a night for the hotel 🙀😂

You say what she was wearing made it obvious. What do a short skirt /dress. High heels

Or was it as paid less money then you ?

Guessing you had a family room so more costly

I'm a mn and I know other mn who work nights in London but don't live there and hire hotel rooms out daytime so that they can Get some sleep before going back to work the next night

The disgusting attitude is thinking that buying another human to use as a tool masturbate into or over is acceptable.

I've no idea how you come to the conclusion that I think it's not possible to rape prostituted women. The scum who think that are the punters who buy them. They are rapists.