Someone threatened my allotment.

[BigBarbara]

I was sat in my allotment, minding my own business, having just potted some beansprouts and some mad couple come bowling over to me demanding I move my chair and leave their allotment!

I'd only just settled in with my voddy & orange in a Stanley Cup and a copy of Take A Break.

Weather was 19° and not muddy at all.

They said its their land! I said it bloody ruddy is not, I've been here 10 years and I put this bloody ruddy shed here myself. It cost me £89 from B&Q. And I had to pay someone from the face book £40 to put it up too. In cash!

AIBU to think finders keepers, losers weepers?? If they wanted the land they shouldn't have waited 3 months to come visit, even if it had been pissing it down for months and who in their right mind would bother with checking an allotment in a pissy February right after moving and being ill too?

I'm currently going through my paper bin to find some cardboard to make some signs saying 'Big Barbara's Beansprouts, keep away'
And tonight I'm going hedgehog hunting so I can strategically place the prickly bastards on leads around the perimeter of MY land.

The cheek of some people!

(Dear MNHQ this is satire and for a laugh. For legal reasons I am not in fact Big Barb and have no intentions of tethering hedgehogs. Please don't call the RSPCA)

Hey @BigBarbara I’ve found those staking sticks you lost! They’re lodged up the arses of several posters on this thread!

Was reading that thread earlier, so this one made me laugh 😁
You just seem to have attracted the Fun Police for some reason 😁

Brilliant 👏 🤣

The only miserable one is you.

Brilliant @BigBarbara 😂😂🤣🤣 Ignore the misery-gutses saying otherwise.

@BigBarbara I had some bad news today and this made me laugh. I needed that, thank you, humour is the best medicine, ignore the humourless gits.

So Big Barbara, diagram or it didn’t happen 😅, where is the shed? Where do you drink your tea from your Stanley cup? Have you ever written in to ‘Take a Break’ with a hot tip on how to turn a cheese grater into a earrings stand?

🤣🤣🤣

what is TAAT?

thread about a thread

pathetic to report, really.

Yes she did. Lighten up, fun sponge!

Oh Barbs, you'll have a film crew knocking on your door soon offering you your own TV series. You'll earn enough to buy all the allotments you want.

@LadyWiddiothethird what a joy vacuum you are. Surely you could just read another thread not spoil the fun of those enjoying it. I’ve had a shit of a day, found out some very upsetting news health wise and this thread made me laugh. It’s not exactly hurting anyone is it? 🤷🏻‍♀️

What a jobsworth 🙄🙄🙄

Why are some reporting it?
I swear some people are so bloody miserable.
If you don't find it funny, scroll past surely

That's genius. Maybe an Aunt Sally outfit, complete with rosy cheeks?

I'm about the same age as Babs, so I can give you the definitive answer: once the Playtex has gone, round about the knees.

@BigBarbara I think its funny. Who would you like to play you in the dramatisation?

I wouldn't.

Black eyes.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 some of the replies on here are killing me with laughter

The miserable gits are out in force over this one!

Well I thought it was funny!! LMAO at Big Barb!

well we can’t both be Barbara…

🤣🤣🤣

@BigBarbara BigBarb, I'm assuming you have a herb garden?

Get some sage and gather it into a bundle. Set fire to it and run around the perimeter of the allotment in order to keep away evil-doers. Combine it with the suggestion made by @LardoBurrows and it's bound to keep away the nasty folk who think that they own it.

While you're here, BigBarb, I'd appreciate any tips you have on growing herbs.

Oh BigBarb, you need to give up the land I am afraid. I do feel sorry for you though and I think it’s a right old mess indeed

Also, good to see the absolute humour being sucked out of this by some. I read lots of threads I don’t like/don’t find funny and I have never taken the time to be rude and try to make someone feel shit about it. Even less do I ever feel the need to report things. I just stop reading, which I find works quite well.

You can see all of the fun sponges on the first few pages. I bet they sat at the front in school.