Someone threatened my allotment.

[BigBarbara]

I was sat in my allotment, minding my own business, having just potted some beansprouts and some mad couple come bowling over to me demanding I move my chair and leave their allotment!

I'd only just settled in with my voddy & orange in a Stanley Cup and a copy of Take A Break.

Weather was 19° and not muddy at all.

They said its their land! I said it bloody ruddy is not, I've been here 10 years and I put this bloody ruddy shed here myself. It cost me £89 from B&Q. And I had to pay someone from the face book £40 to put it up too. In cash!

AIBU to think finders keepers, losers weepers?? If they wanted the land they shouldn't have waited 3 months to come visit, even if it had been pissing it down for months and who in their right mind would bother with checking an allotment in a pissy February right after moving and being ill too?

I'm currently going through my paper bin to find some cardboard to make some signs saying 'Big Barbara's Beansprouts, keep away'
And tonight I'm going hedgehog hunting so I can strategically place the prickly bastards on leads around the perimeter of MY land.

The cheek of some people!

(Dear MNHQ this is satire and for a laugh. For legal reasons I am not in fact Big Barb and have no intentions of tethering hedgehogs. Please don't call the RSPCA)

I guess I should have read the other thread first then

@BigBarbara a word! big barbara knew the plot had been sold before she planted any vegetables! there has been so much rain that the farmers are having difficulty sowing their fields! please do not even consider renting or selling any of the plot to the offender. remember, this is also an excellent selling point if and when you do eventually sell your house. it is yours. get her off completely. evicted her if necessary. she is trespassing.

Agree Barbara, your time is up

Oh don't be so bloody ridiculous

I thought it was funny, too.

I do love when posters pipe up on threads like this just to smugly say 'It's not funny'.

I think you'll find you mean, 'I don't find it funny' as it's only your opinion, and all you've done is out yourself as arrogant enough to consider yourself the arbiter of humour, and stupid enough to believe anyone here cares what you do or don't find funny.

It gave me a smile.

Dear BigBarb

Do you really model yourself on CPB or is your look a last-ditch attempt to hang onto your Farrah Fawcett, albeit at a shorter length?

How do you style it?

Asking for a friend.

Barb, I suggest you plant some lovely convolvulus before they turf you off your land. Swines!

So many sense of humour failures here!

Sit tight Barbs, the hedgehogs will defend you!

Satire is meant to be funny

Oh no, PP’s have called the Fun Police on you Babs!

So glad I have people on MN to categorically state what’s funny and what isn’t, I’d be lost otherwise…

Made me smile 😂

Ignore the miserable responses, this is absolutely hilarious! I needed a good laugh this week and this has cheered me right up.

Fit yi pluntin’ min?

Stick to the day job.

I needed a good laugh too, thanks 😂😂😂

You know what would shut them up, Babs? Show 'em the deeds. All you need is some proof that you own the allotment and then you can shove it in their faces!

Made me smile 😁

Buy a tent and have a sit in, swampy style. Invite the Daily Mail down to interview you whilst you sit in the mud, looking all sad and dishevelled. This will strengthen your cause and inevitably lead to you being given the allotment plot by a dim kind hearted judge 😃

Nice one, Barb. 😆

Good on ya, OP, I laughed out loud.

Stop being so flipping miserable, hth

We just need the person who had all his stuff stored in the garage to come along and give their side of the story.😀😀

Think a few people have lost their sense of humour today! 🤣