Would you be offended if your Bil picked you up?

[Stressedjustthinkingaboutit]

If you were flying to visit your sister on your own with your kids to another country. Would you be offended if her other half came to pick you up at the airport and drop you at your hotel?
Reason being, it’s at night and your sister is doing bedtime with their dc, would this bother you? Or would you expect your sister to be the one to come?
They will see each other the next morning

@Jsym ?

No, I don’t like driving and definitely not to an airport. Partner doesn’t like doing bedtime solo! We’re a family and help each other and if my sister would be offended I would be annoyed

Wouldn’t bother me at all. I’d send DH to pick my sister up and not think anything of it

I hadn't read the full thread, so my mistake.

No one was making problems, I just thought it odd she wouldn't hop in the car to meet her sister while the dad puts the kids to bed.

I can't imagine caring either way. Unless they dislike each other

I’ve been married nearly 20 years, and my in laws have always disliked me and have said plenty of vile stuff about me behind my back. They came to visit us last summer (they live in another country) and stayed with us for over a month. My husband is a very different person in the presence of his parents. All the toxic male traits resurface and are on full display - he shuts down and does what he wants/they want with little to no regard of what I want or how I feel.
Given this, and the fact that I was living under the same roof as them for such an extended period for the first time - my husband and I got into an argument one weekend. Things escalated and his parents found out that we’ve been arguing for a while. Nothing else happened in the following weeks, and they went back home. Ever since, my FiL has refused to talk to me or acknowledge my existence. He told my husband on the phone that he hated staying with us and would never come back. He has not spoken to me at all since then, and if I answer the phone, he hangs up. Or makes my MiL ring us, then asks to speak to my husband.

My husband seems to think this is ok, and continues to be very amenable to this arrangement. He talks to his dad quite often, and seems ok with just ignoring my existence. He says he thinks what his dad is doing is wrong but does nothing about it. I am very annoyed with my FiL, even more annoyed with my husband and most annoyed with myself for being annoyed!! Help!

Fine for him to pick her up, but if I was her, I’d wonder why you didn’t wait up to see me - having not seen eachother for ages.

I really wouldn’t be bothered.

And this pertains to the OP’s question how?

Plan sounds great and balances several considerations, not just visiting sister, which is fair

Yeah, I'd be disappointed. I'd wonder why your husband didn't do bedtime so you could have a catch-up with me on our own.

In my family my only hope of a lift would be my SIL.

My darling brother would helpfully suggest I get a taxi.

SIL would and has come out late to collect me!

(Brother is lovely about many other things just doesn't see the point of collecting people when taxis exist and are affordable).

We're all different though, it would never cross my mind that not having a catch up the moment I'd landed was in anyway a bad thing

If you had that kind of relationship surely you'd be in regular contact not waiting to be face to face to swop news

@Stressedjustthinkingaboutit

these days I'd rather stay in a hotel than at my brothers.

however, as a child at Christmas there would be 16 of us overnight & my grandparents would save their sanity & join us in the morning. It was utter chaos, but absolutely fabulous!! Miss those days!!

i hope you have a fantastic time !!

Is the question actually "Would you be offended if your sister didnt pick you up personally and sent her husband instead as she was putting children to bed"?

It wouldn't bother me at all

Mind? Of course not, I wouldn't mind at. I wouldn't expect it nor ask it of somebody. That's what airport cabs/shuttles are for.

Being in constant contact at distance is a bit different to getting to see each other for the first time in ages, being welcomed at the airport and then having some one-on-one time in the car to chat.

If OP has small children, husband and other family visiting, it may be one of the only opportunities to be alone together.

Of course people are different, but personally I'd be disappointed by BIL.

What the hell... who on earth could ever get annoyed by this?!

I might have missed it but how far are you from the airport?

Again, I wouldn't be offended but I'd be pretty disappointed if my sibling who I hadn't seen in 18 months didn't pick me up after I took an international flight. Your reasons for staying home (I'll be tired from going food shopping and cooking the day before? Really?) would sound to me like "I just can't be arsed to make an effort for you." Which I'd find disappointing, especially after flying with my kids.

But again, this is Mumsnet, where people really don't like to go even slightly out of their way for others, so I'm not surprised that the general response is that your sister is needy, immature and should be thankful she's even getting a lift 🙄

I’m not sure why but this thread is pleasantly bonkers. 🙂

No of course a normal person wouldn’t be upset that a spouse picked them up from the airport.

No, of course not.

my sister is coming home soon and my husband will pick her up - not because he’s wishes to perpetuate the patriarchy but unfortunately he can’t breastfeed….

It’s the man’s fault. Obviously.