Would you be offended if your Bil picked you up?

[Stressedjustthinkingaboutit]

If you were flying to visit your sister on your own with your kids to another country. Would you be offended if her other half came to pick you up at the airport and drop you at your hotel?
Reason being, it’s at night and your sister is doing bedtime with their dc, would this bother you? Or would you expect your sister to be the one to come?
They will see each other the next morning

No, not even a little bit. I'd be grateful for the lift.

I hate driving to airport and DH does ALL pick ups for my family; no-one has ever been anything but thankful for the lift.

No, I don't think that'd bother me at all. A couple of years ago we flew out to meet up with a friend we hadn't seen in over 5 years. She sent her DH to pick us up from the airport and we were genuinely just grateful for the lift.

no woulnt bother me be grateful for the lift

Why have people voted the OP unreasonable? I'm baffled.
It's family. I'd be so grateful that I hadn't had to do it myself. I'd have made up excuses why I can't if my OH was willing to do it for my family / best friend. Unless I was REALLY bored and has a podcast to listen to on the way back. Which is probably what this was.

*had

I'd be really happy and grateful that family were picking me up.

got fed up halfway through the thread.....(Yes I am in a right baggy arsed mood)
WHY do people make this shit so complicated?!

Call sister, say "BIL will pick you up at X, see you later"

Job done. I dont get the issue. Unless the family are arseholes in which case, why put yourself out at all?!

Based on the thread title alone I thought it might be a fat-shaming thread; along the lines of - I'm rather stoutly built and at a recent family gathering BIL, who has been doing a bit of weight lifting recently, suddenly picked me up and said "look how strong I am, I can even pick up Thing".

How completely wrong I was. YABU, I'd be happy for my BIL, Dsis's neighbour or any friendly person, who was a good driver and knew the local roads to pick me up at an airport and drop me off at my sister's door.

Time for my bedtime.

Do you often have anxiety like this, @Stressedjustthinkingaboutit ? Where no one has given an indication that anything is wrong, you have no reason to believe your sister would be upset (you don’t mention her being unreasonable), and yet you get a lot of anxiety about it and you come up with a large list of justifications for your actions in case someone DOES find them unreasonable? It might be something to think about. I imagine that would be exhausting, and could do a real number on your self-confidence. Maybe it would be good to talk to your GP about it and go from there. (If this isn’t the case, and this is just a one-off strange situation, then never mind.)

This

get a cab next time.

Offended? Grateful more like!

And sister could get a taxi. But is making someone come all the way out to drive them around and then being offended if it's not the right person. That's pretty fucked up in my book and not understandable in the slightest, imho.

If it bothers you get a taxi.

Agreed

That would be my worst nightmare! Just got off flight tired and sorting kids and baggage, just want a quick bite to eat then get kids to bed, then bed myself and there's some kind of welcome party there who expects me to stay up all night 😭

Why not just let them get a taxi. I would hate all this someone coming out late then driving me about then having to get back to theirs. And why not let them have a chilled morning after travelling rather than expecting everyone to be up early to go to the hotel. I'd honestly find the fussing too much. Let me travel, go to my hotel in peace and let me have a quiet morning so my DC can sleep as much as they need to and I can get them breakfast before 'everyone' descends!

How long is the airport drive?

My degree is maths and I’ve spent much of my finance career as the only woman in the room. I am not less capable than any man as a value call and to be honest I’d say im often more capable. My husband is very musical, and I am very unmusical. It would be irrational to the point of stupid to pretend otherwise. Similarly driving- he is a good driver, and I am an average driver, mainly because while I am great with maps and similar on paper I am terrible with visual routes. This, for FFS, is a rational division of our purely skills based strengths and weaknesses. I don’t think you could even argue socialisation and gender stereotype plays into the relative skills development. Like our relative musicality (I worked on that too, played instruments, was in choir and band and orchestra), it’s largely defined by natural talent. I’ve improved to being a capable driver, and as busy parents of 3 we both do our share of driving, but I will never be as good as it at him. I am not lesser nor am I denigrating women to objectively acknowledge my weaknesses.

@candyisdandybutliquorisquicker I was a bit snippy sorry, I do understand it’s natural to jump to conclusions and lots of people do let stereotypes limit them. It’s just so not me that I was a bit ???. I’ll use it as a reminder to be less quick to assume myself :)

Maybe being met at the airport is OP’s sister’s love language.

This really made me laugh.

So your sister isn’t actually annoyed with you but you’re tying yourself up in knots to be the perfect person. You can’t risk anyone not being 100% happy with you at all times?

Why?

What you’re doing for your family is perfectly good enough and you need to accept that for what it is.

The stress of being a people pleaser is entirely self inflicted and I think you need to work on that. Please don’t pass that trait into your kids, especially if you have a daughter.

This

It isn't a problem. Don't worry about it.