Would you be offended if your Bil picked you up?

[Stressedjustthinkingaboutit]

If you were flying to visit your sister on your own with your kids to another country. Would you be offended if her other half came to pick you up at the airport and drop you at your hotel?
Reason being, it’s at night and your sister is doing bedtime with their dc, would this bother you? Or would you expect your sister to be the one to come?
They will see each other the next morning

Oh no! Not the patriarchy! TBH having struggled home from abroad last night dragging a heavy suitcase I was extremely pleased to be met by a car and driver. He could have been Jack the Ripper for all I cared.

I wouldn't be offended but I love my dsis so much I would be a bit disappointed if spent whole journey excited and expecting to see them and this meant I wouldn't until next morning so for me better to know plan in advance. I'd be v grateful for the lift from BIL

That would be fine, but I would expect to be told in advance if I was expecting to see my sister

Yes I was, hence fact I’ve never forgotten !! Tbf on subsequent trips she’s grabbed me from airport. It’s her DH, not her. It’s a control thing for him.

Which way round is the AIBU?

Seems perfectly reasonable for a BIL to do an airport collection, I'd just be grateful I wasn't having to get a taxi from the airport!

That sounds tough. Just start a new thread for advice - use Add Post at the bottom of you screen.

My DH often picks up my side of the family as it's not a big detour from his commute home. If any of my family were upset by that, I'd just tell them to get an Uber next time. I can understand being disappointed about not seeing you until the next day though.

It wouldn’t occur to me to be offended in any way, I’d be grateful for a lift.

Being grateful for a lift doesn't exclude being a bit disappointed that it's not your sister doing it.

I would not be offended, I'd like to be told before I travelled though so I know who to look out for.

She's your sister, you know her best - do you think she'd be offended? Why not just text her and say 'Hey Sis, DH will pick you up from airport and drop you at the hotel as I'm getting DC to bed! Looking forward to see you all tomorrow!'

Urm no! I wouldn’t care who picked me up .

This is one of those cases where it matters who's asking the question & whose preference this is.

After your update - you're being entirely reasonable to send your husband. It would be nice to set aside some other time for a 1-1 catchup with your sister during the visit (a walk perhaps, or go out for a pedicure with her and your mum) but otherwise do what works best for your family in the situation.

If you were really wanting to go pick up your sister and your husband were being an arse about managing bedtime then my response would be different.

Off course not

Of course not. I’d just be grateful for the lift.

My Dh always does the airport pickups, it’s a good 40 min drive and he’s much better at that than me.

Not remotely offensive, no

Your DH picking her up is absolutely fine, wouldn’t bother me at all. But why would you only see her the next morning, what time will they get in? Can’t you wait up?

Am I a bad person? Would you be disappointed as the other sister?

You are seriously overthinking this

Sorry but non of this is necessary. DH will pick you at the airport, and I look forward to seeing you soon, simple.

This is a non issue that is being made into this big issue that needs explanation and justification.

I think you are being precious.

FFS, what does that even mean? He's "better" at doing what? Driving? Reading signs? Being a functioning adult?

It's so depressing to read, in 2024, so many women believing that they are less capable than men when it comes to basic skills.

But she didn't get out of bed even when you got there!

Then you need to get more practice.

If it was an airport run I wouldn’t fancy the hassle late at night, as much as I love my sis. My husband would do that for me and my sis and I’d see her the next day.