Would you be offended if your Bil picked you up?

[Stressedjustthinkingaboutit]

If you were flying to visit your sister on your own with your kids to another country. Would you be offended if her other half came to pick you up at the airport and drop you at your hotel?
Reason being, it’s at night and your sister is doing bedtime with their dc, would this bother you? Or would you expect your sister to be the one to come?
They will see each other the next morning

This!

Who cares? I would think he was just the more confident driver, or one of the kids was going through a phase where they needed mum for bedtime. Are you not very close with your sister?

I would be delighted for anyone to pick me up, as it would save me from having to get a taxi. The brother in law sounds lovely, so why on earth would anyone make a drama put of this?

I wouldn't expect to be picked up at all if not staying with them

I've been in this situation and was delighted that BIL collected me, rather than having to fork out for a taxi.

@Stressedjustthinkingaboutit can you give us some indication which way the voting is?
I absolutely would not be offended, but don't know which way I should be voting.

Why would you possibly be offended by this??

The visiting sister thinks other sister values kids' bedtimes more than seeing her immediately after a long journey. That's what I'm getting. Probably pissed off that after making such a long journey none of her blood relatives came to the airport to see her and pick her up.

If that's the case she was probably tired and emotional and felt ignored by her relatives that she had come to see.

That mightn't be rational, but it's kind of understandable in a way. BIL could have done the kid stuff.

I wouldn't expect a lift from either of them, so no way I'd be offended.

If I was going to their house and expecting a lift, I wouldn't mind who turned up.

I'd be careful not to read into things. This isn't a measure of how much anyone likes or values anyone else.

TBH it wouldn’t occur to me to think there was anything to object to.

Not offended.

This is awful. I'd hate to be related to anyone who put these expectations on me. Adults can make their own way to hotels and still have loving relationships.

You may be right but I would urge anyone thinking this way to reconsider for the sake of their and their family's sanity and contentment.

Offended no
OH normally does airport stuff or things like this..he has a much better idea of where to park and also better able to lift bags and fit into the car boot.....I don't drive his car and my car probably wouldn't be big enough.
If sister was staying with parents, had a long day or kids refused anyone else to put them to bed that would also be good reason.
But there should be a reason of some kind, not just they flipped for it.

Also, sister at home putting dc to bed also has parents staying with them and cooking/entertaining them

I wouldn't be offended but can see why you are asking.
If it was my family, BIL would be left at home and sister (and parents) would all go to the airport. We wouldn't want to wait a day to get together.

If I hadn’t seen my sibling for ages and was close I would be wondering why my sibling couldn’t let bil do the bedtimes and come to see me. I would have expected my sibling to be as keen as I was to see each other. Other lift wise I would be grateful for any lift but yes I would be disappointed my sibling didn’t seem to place me on the same level of can’t wait to see you as I had on them.

@MyFavouritePlace Parents can fit in car as well as Dd and kids

If my parents were there too I know in much family everyone would have come to get me as we all would have been as keen as each other to see each other.

I guess it depends on how far the sister is travelling and how long it’s been since they’ve seen each other.
Personally if be grateful for the lift and would want to freshen up but I can understand if there was an issue as surely bil could do bedtime routine?

Why on earth would this offend anyone?

Why on earth would anyone be offended by this? He's a member of the family giving her a lift to her hotel, not random stranger taking her to dinner and a show. I don't see what the issue would be?

*Can’t fit it the car, sorry

We dont trouble other people annd wont unless we are seriously pushed and stuck

It wouldn’t offend me as such but I would be disappointed that I don’t seem to be as valued as I had thought.

I wouldn’t be offended if BIL picked me up. I’d be grateful for the lift.