Would you be offended if your Bil picked you up?

[Stressedjustthinkingaboutit]

If you were flying to visit your sister on your own with your kids to another country. Would you be offended if her other half came to pick you up at the airport and drop you at your hotel?
Reason being, it’s at night and your sister is doing bedtime with their dc, would this bother you? Or would you expect your sister to be the one to come?
They will see each other the next morning

This. I find the whole defaulting to mother for bedtime tiresome unless the child is breastfeeding. Men can do it too and not just on occasion needed.

And women can drive distances and at night!

@CornishTiger They can of course, but sometimes strengths lie in different areas

"Am I a bad person? Would you be disappointed as the other sister?"

These are different questions to your op. I might be a bit disappointed, but I would get over it. You are not a bad person.

Not at all. Why would you be?

Hi OP,
I have read all your posts.
I wouldn't be confident driving to our local airport and would only do it if I absolutely had to - but my husband would be confident and has done it many times. He would go in our family.

I would say to your sister that you hope she doesn't mind your husband picking her up but I think you not being confident going to the airport is a better reason than being busy with bedtime - which your husband could do.
Just make sure you have made plans with her for the following morning and make a fuss of her then. You could also send a bag of snacks and drinks for the hotel or offer your husband to take her for fast food if she has been travelling through tea time.

People who 'get offended' are generally pretty hard work in my experience.

(but disappointment/upset is an entirely different and reasonable emotion - if you're offended YABU, if you're disappointed/upset YANBU).

I don’t understand why you are worried about your sister’s reaction. What’s the backstory?

You'd have to be a special sort of arsehole to take offense at this.

@StormySpanielz No backstory, I’m just a worrier and sensitive I suppose, so I’m wondering if she’ll be quietly upset if it’s not me picking her or will think I can’t be bothered, when it isn’t that at all. Is probably just me!

Ahhhhh so this is coming from you? No I don't think you've anything to worry about but you could send something along with your husband like a note and her favourite sweets or slippers and tell her to sleep well and you look forward to seeing her the following day.

I was in agreement with you until you said you hadn't seen your sister in 1.5 years. In that case I'd have picked her up and dh could sort kids.

You can see that most people wouldnt mind but I'm assuming none of is are your sister that has no bearing on the situation

You know her, what do you think?

Hey sis, is it OK if John picks you up at the airport? You know my night driving isn't the best and I want to get the little ones settled into bed so we can have a proper catch up as soon as you arrive?

It's as simple or as difficult as you make it.

Why difference would the drive time make to the already 1.5 years? I dont get the relevance.

I flew to long haul to visit my sister, got a taxi to the house and she didn’t get out of bed as she was having a lie-in ! Tbf would have been her DH.

Just text her and explain what you’ve said. She will surely understand?

Hmm, I can see you're torn about this.
If I was the one being picked up I'd be fine with BIL coming (assuming he's not an arse that's tolerated for your sake) but I'd like an invite to come to the house for a quick cuppa.
How would you feel if it was you?

You keep saying how tired you are and it sounds as if you're not really that excited about your family visiting.

No, a lift is a lift. Is it a problem?

I'd just be grateful someone collected me tbh!

Having read all of your posts, if my sister pulled a face I’d be telling her (lovingly) to get a f*ing grip.

Nothing to feel guilty about OP!

Am I a bad person? Would you be disappointed as the other sister?

Well, disappointed and offended are two very different things.

I think it would be understandable for your sister to be disappointed, but if you explain the situation, there's absolutely no reason for her to be offended, IMO.

I'd just be grateful I didn't have to get a taxi.

I might briefly wonder why the dad can't sort his own kids, but it really wouldn't bother me.

I just don’t understand why you’re even thinking this would be an issue (provided your sister and husband don’t hate each other of course).

It just wouldn’t even be something that would occur to me as something that would be an issue.

Why couldn’t BIL put the kids to bed and she come get you?
thats is hands down the best solution