Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should petrol money and accommodation be charged?

291 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 11/04/2024 10:23

I am looking for opinions on whether a person should be charged petrol money and accommodation fees or not.

So the situation is, person A and person B agreed to go on holiday with each other and booked a holiday together last year. They paid half for the holiday itself and, because it involves person A driving them there, they of course agreed they would split the petrol money.

Months later, person C, who is a close family member of person A, is going through a tough time and was invited to tag along on the holiday as they live alone and are struggling.

There is now a debate as to whether person C should pay a third of the petrol money and a third of the accommodation costs.

Accommodation has already been paid in full between person A and B, so paying for accommodation would involve person C handing over cash to person A and B to make it so they have essentially all paid a third each. And petrol money would be split three ways on the days of travel.

So...
Should person C pay an equal share of accommodation and petrol?

Or should they not have to pay, because person A and B planned this trip a while ago and would be paying half regardless of whether person C attends or not.

Person C will not be increasing costs in any way as the accommodation has always been big enough for three people, as person A and B booked a large caravan. Person C has agreed that they will not be dictating what happens on the holiday or factored into any decisions or plans for the activities, as they are only going because they don't want to be alone right now.

Also, does it make a difference that person C is close family member of one of the original people?

OP posts:
GRex · 11/04/2024 22:38

MsGrumpytrousers · 11/04/2024 22:31

I must say, it's making me feel very cheerful about my dull plans for the weekend. Imagine being stuck in a caravan with A, B and C arguing over every teabag.

Show quote history

They are taking their own food, but I was similarly wondering if they would debate sharing the used teabag.

At this stage, I would pay the full costs to be allowed to not go.

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 11/04/2024 22:40

But they have the joys of person c, and reading through the thread I can absolutely see why A leapt at the chance to support C through the trauma that they of course won't mention .. and B just of course had to delight in paying for them to come on the hols!

MetalFences · 11/04/2024 22:42

Person B likes to save money wherever possible

What! Rather than subsidise the holiday of someone who can't deal with being alone for a week? Shocking.

As an aside this sounds like a terrible holiday.

WhyIOughtTo · 11/04/2024 22:45

So C has manipulated A in to coming on the holiday then A has manipulated B into paying for it but you think B is unreasonable for not wanting to pay for some beds to be made? £20 as obviously C couldn't be asked to pay for anything at all.

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 11/04/2024 22:45

MetalFences · 11/04/2024 22:42

Person B likes to save money wherever possible

What! Rather than subsidise the holiday of someone who can't deal with being alone for a week? Shocking.

As an aside this sounds like a terrible holiday.

You say that like it's a bad thing 😱 NOT to want to fund a dramatic free loader?

PurplePattern · 11/04/2024 22:48

ThinWomansBrain · 11/04/2024 22:31

if I was person B and a third person was invited along (assuming not asked first and able to say no), I'd probably be telling person A what to do with a third of a caravan.

Agree...Team B😆

DragonFly98 · 11/04/2024 22:54

No person C should not pay are people always this petty.

RitzyMcFee · 11/04/2024 23:01

DragonFly98 · 11/04/2024 22:54

No person C should not pay are people always this petty.

Edited

So if you arranged to go away with a friend and then she said to you that her 27 year old was very upset because someone had attacked his Minecraft village and so he could not bear to be alone for a week so could he come with you two you would just be fine with it?

Or if your friend's husband was upset about something that he would not mention and could not stand to be without the friend for a week you would be OK with him coming along with you bit not paying?

Riverlee · 11/04/2024 23:03

DragonFly98 · 11/04/2024 22:54

No person C should not pay are people always this petty.

Edited

Why shouldn’t C pay?

If A and C live together, is C bringing food as well, or is A?

caringcarer · 11/04/2024 23:10

3 people each should pay 1/3 each and 1/3 petrol money too. It's obvious.

literalviolence · 11/04/2024 23:14

So person B seems to perhaps have some money issues - she's trying to shave costs where possible with the bedding? But still you think maybe B should pay for C's holiday? A and C are being incredibly tight here. In terms of the holiday not being what C chose, when she doesn't have to go and if she wants to she needs to suck up the choices other made and pay the £60 for her share. To do anything else would be really unreasonable.

Ddff · 11/04/2024 23:23

So if the holiday park aren’t going to make up the double bed where do they think the 3 guests are sleeping? all 3 on the sofabed?!
FFS just give B her money back and A & C go away together…

DoreenonTill8 · 11/04/2024 23:26

But who are a and c? Spouses? Parent and child? Feel c is either dm or overly loved child?

CastleCrasher · 11/04/2024 23:30

So is C A's (adult) child? That's what the dynamic sounds like. And A is bringing them along because for whatever reason, C doesn't fare so well on their own.

If this is the case, I'd be surprised if the holiday isn't changed as a result of C coming along. Maybe not intentionally, but A appears to put a big emphasis on C and their wellbeing, so is likely to prioritise them to Bs cost. Either way, the holiday is now for three people, three people should share the cost of it. If A doesn't want C to have to pay, they should cover their cost.

Mookie81 · 11/04/2024 23:33

Team B.
A and C are arseholes.

DoreenonTill8 · 11/04/2024 23:37

CastleCrasher · 11/04/2024 23:30

So is C A's (adult) child? That's what the dynamic sounds like. And A is bringing them along because for whatever reason, C doesn't fare so well on their own.

If this is the case, I'd be surprised if the holiday isn't changed as a result of C coming along. Maybe not intentionally, but A appears to put a big emphasis on C and their wellbeing, so is likely to prioritise them to Bs cost. Either way, the holiday is now for three people, three people should share the cost of it. If A doesn't want C to have to pay, they should cover their cost.

Agree, is A used to everyone just 'loving" her bring dc C along and saying how much joy they bring to things...

determinedtomakethiswork · 11/04/2024 23:44

It depends on how they worded the invitation. They could have said would you like to come on holiday with us, it's a really good deal and it would onlycost X pounds or they could say would you like to come on holiday, our treat.

Either way it should be clear from the first conversation what's happening.

Person C should not expect a free holiday holiday though unless they were specifically told it was going to be free.

SuncreamAndIceCream · 11/04/2024 23:47

C should pay something towards it

But if they don't have any money the person who invited them should be paying some extra - maybe not 2/3 of the cost but more than half

Notonmy · 11/04/2024 23:57

C needs to pay to go on the holiday not expect to go for free. The holiday costs should be split 3 ways as there are 3 people going. If A and C are sharing a room and B has their own room then C could pay slightly less than 1/3. C is very cheeky to think they should get a free holiday.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 11/04/2024 23:59

Boy this gets better and better..

So Cindy lives with Alice… Bethany is cheap and there will be no drinking on the trip while all 3 eat leftovers and random stuff from the home fridge. There are no plans to do anything during the day except for the first day when they all must make their beds.

ETA: and apparently fighting about who owes what as I’m sure this isn’t the first time the three have been in this position

New question 🙋‍♀️ why would anyone want to go on this trip?

MsGrumpytrousers · 11/04/2024 23:59

DragonFly98 · 11/04/2024 22:54

No person C should not pay are people always this petty.

Edited

I bet C always is, yes.

DragonFly98 · 12/04/2024 00:28

RitzyMcFee · 11/04/2024 23:01

So if you arranged to go away with a friend and then she said to you that her 27 year old was very upset because someone had attacked his Minecraft village and so he could not bear to be alone for a week so could he come with you two you would just be fine with it?

Or if your friend's husband was upset about something that he would not mention and could not stand to be without the friend for a week you would be OK with him coming along with you bit not paying?

Show quote history

Did the bear attack the villagers? Because that makes me less likely to leave the 27 year old alone at home with them.

Princessfluffy · 12/04/2024 04:43

Petrol costs £40 are split by the two who did not drive. Driver does not pay for petrol.

Caravan cost split 3 ways.
Change to £40 bedding charge split 3 ways or alternatively B provides own bedding, other beds cost split between A&C.

If A wishes to give C some or all of the money for their holiday then they can.
Obviously if A & B both decide that they don't want to charge C for anything or just for a smaller portion of the costs that's fine too.

Tahinii · 12/04/2024 04:49

This sounds like a friendship breaker to be honest. I’d shelve the lot!

Shoxfordian · 12/04/2024 05:28

Sounds like a rubbish holiday

C should obviously pay a third but doesn't seem to want to do that. B sounds cheap.

Swipe left for the next trending thread