Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should petrol money and accommodation be charged?

291 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 11/04/2024 10:23

I am looking for opinions on whether a person should be charged petrol money and accommodation fees or not.

So the situation is, person A and person B agreed to go on holiday with each other and booked a holiday together last year. They paid half for the holiday itself and, because it involves person A driving them there, they of course agreed they would split the petrol money.

Months later, person C, who is a close family member of person A, is going through a tough time and was invited to tag along on the holiday as they live alone and are struggling.

There is now a debate as to whether person C should pay a third of the petrol money and a third of the accommodation costs.

Accommodation has already been paid in full between person A and B, so paying for accommodation would involve person C handing over cash to person A and B to make it so they have essentially all paid a third each. And petrol money would be split three ways on the days of travel.

So...
Should person C pay an equal share of accommodation and petrol?

Or should they not have to pay, because person A and B planned this trip a while ago and would be paying half regardless of whether person C attends or not.

Person C will not be increasing costs in any way as the accommodation has always been big enough for three people, as person A and B booked a large caravan. Person C has agreed that they will not be dictating what happens on the holiday or factored into any decisions or plans for the activities, as they are only going because they don't want to be alone right now.

Also, does it make a difference that person C is close family member of one of the original people?

OP posts:
BoudiccaOfSuburbia · 11/04/2024 10:58

Where would it end? Person B also decides to add an extra person to share their room and so on…

Is person B happy with the relative coming? It will change the dynamic a lot.

But yes they should pay a fair share, as A & B will have less communal space, longer wait for shower etc.

If A chooses to ‘treat’ relative then they should compensate B for the compromises that will be made by covering petrol or a food shop or whatever.

Ginkypig · 11/04/2024 10:59

If I was in that situation and I was ok with c to tag along rather than having it forced on me be by b then the way I see it.

a and b were happy to pay half for a two person holiday

c coming costs nothing if there was a room going spare anyway. So i probably wouldn’t want the money towards it as I was already happy with the costs to me before that point.

I would however expect c to pay their share towards the extra expenses so food, fuel and pay their way (or at least not have It cost me anything) if we all went out to eat or do an activity etc.

that all depends on how close I was to A and if C was not known as a cheeky fucker before this point if you know what I mean.

if I knew c was skint and not a piss taker in normal circumstance and I was particularly close friends with A then I might even discuss with A chipping in more between us to cover C’s the food as it prob won’t be too much for 3 instead of two

Ginkypig · 11/04/2024 11:02

I got the letters wrong which I’ve gone back to change but apologies if I’ve missed any!

Lolloped · 11/04/2024 11:07

Who is debating? If it’s A and B why doesn't C just pay the 1/6 share to the one who wants it? If it’s C not wanting to pay anything they are a CF. It isn’t hard to make 2 bank transfers or cover the expenses like food/drink/activities on the trip. If C really can’t afford it then it’s up to A and B to decide if they want to cover all costs and if they don't C can stay home.

PinkStarAtNight · 11/04/2024 11:13

Ginkypig · 11/04/2024 10:59

If I was in that situation and I was ok with c to tag along rather than having it forced on me be by b then the way I see it.

a and b were happy to pay half for a two person holiday

c coming costs nothing if there was a room going spare anyway. So i probably wouldn’t want the money towards it as I was already happy with the costs to me before that point.

I would however expect c to pay their share towards the extra expenses so food, fuel and pay their way (or at least not have It cost me anything) if we all went out to eat or do an activity etc.

that all depends on how close I was to A and if C was not known as a cheeky fucker before this point if you know what I mean.

if I knew c was skint and not a piss taker in normal circumstance and I was particularly close friends with A then I might even discuss with A chipping in more between us to cover C’s the food as it prob won’t be too much for 3 instead of two

Edited

Yes, A asked B and B is fine with C attending.

There will not be a food shop as each person is taking their own food from home. Meals out will be paid on a per person basis.

OP posts:
Fourfurrymonsters · 11/04/2024 11:17

C should pay a third. No one expects to have a holiday and not pay anything. Or they shouldn’t, anyway.

Alwaysalwayscold · 11/04/2024 11:18

I would say to C that accommodation is already paid for but she can cover (all of) the fuel as her share. Need to know amounts really to know if that's fair but seems the easiest way to do it.

TinyYellow · 11/04/2024 11:20

PinkStarAtNight · 11/04/2024 11:13

Yes, A asked B and B is fine with C attending.

There will not be a food shop as each person is taking their own food from home. Meals out will be paid on a per person basis.

Did b also say they were happy to provide C with a free holiday?

B probably assumed C would contribute because that would be normal.

literalviolence · 11/04/2024 11:22

C should pay 1/3 of course. It's a different holiday with C there so for this new holiday the costs are different. Unless C is sharing a room with A or B? In which case you might want to divvy things up a little differently (though they should still pay 1/3 of fuel).

DoreenonTill8 · 11/04/2024 11:24

How many bathrooms are there? There's a huge difference in the inconvenience of sharing with one and sharing amongst 3!
How did A 'ask' B and did they do so before C? Were they guilt tripped into as it sounds like it!

Catza · 11/04/2024 11:30

They should pay the costs. Doesn't matter if the trip was planned way ahead without them. Person B is now finding themselves in a position of having to spend a holiday with someone they didn't plan on hanging out with, potentially spend the vast majority of the trip rehashing their difficult circumstances or whatever. It is a very different holiday from what was originally planned and I would at least hope to get reduction of costs as a compensation for change of plans.

literalviolence · 11/04/2024 11:31

OP, am I right in thinking you're A and you have invited a family member to go with you, B has agreed but you don't want to ask C to contribute? If so, that's not a good way to treat B tbh. Apologies if that's not the case. If you're B, then that's not a nice way for you to be treated!

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 11/04/2024 11:31

I think it depends on the amount of money involved and everyone's situation. If I was person B, could comfortably afford the holiday, and liked person C, I would be happy to sub them on holiday. I'd view it as an opportunity to do something nice for someone in need. Everyone's different though, and person B should certainly be offered a third of their money back either from person C or person A.

Itsokish · 11/04/2024 11:40

Person C should be paying the lions share for food if having free accommodation!

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/04/2024 11:42

Yes, they should pay or cover food/entertainment costs to the same value.

I would want to if I were C, would feel awkward otherwise.

mindutopia · 11/04/2024 11:43

Yes, person C should pay their way. Or if person A invited them and offered to cover their expenses, then they should settle this with person B, so that person B is only paying 1/3. It entirely depends on what the original offer entailed, but no, no one should assume they are getting a free holiday.

CelesteCunningham · 11/04/2024 11:52

Of course C should pay a third, unless C is a close family member of both A and B and A and B agree to fund C as a gift because she's having a tough time.

I don't think I'd be amused in B's shoes if I paid half for a holiday and then A invited a family member along and thought the family member could just tag along for free.

Shinyandnew1 · 11/04/2024 11:52

How much money did A and B pay for the accommodation?

How much will the fuel be?

I think person C should be paying 1/3 but this could be done by them paying the total petrol cost. Is person C refusing to pay?

Singleandproud · 11/04/2024 11:55

I think C should put the cash in a pot to be used for food and drink instead but the should contribute in someway.

Saymyname28 · 11/04/2024 11:55

So C is As relative. Who is on a downer.
Of course C should pay. This had massively changed the trip for B and even if there was extra beds the extra space always comes in handy in a caravan because they're tiny space. It will feel cramped with 3 independant adults.

I'd feel a bit put out as B and even more so if I was paying the same

GabriellaMontez · 11/04/2024 11:58

Why wouldn't c pay?

C should happily pay. And be grateful that a and b have agreed to alter their plans and share their trip.

Starlight1979 · 11/04/2024 11:58

Off topic but I always feel like these "person A" "person B" posts are a quiz that you would get in school and they make my brain hurt so I can't read them 😂

AllEars112232 · 11/04/2024 11:58

Either person C should pay a third, OR person A should cover their costs as they invited them. The cost for person B should definitely be reduced because they are not getting the same holiday they originally agreed to pay for.

Caroparo52 · 11/04/2024 11:58

From post you are inviting C because they are going through tough time and you are being nice. It wasn't to reduce overall costs to A and B. Therefore if C offers to contribute then accept a token gesture but not full 1/3 whack.. obviously they pay for own food and extras but not accommodation or fuel.

wutheringkites · 11/04/2024 12:01

It's up to person A and person B. If A doesn't want money but B does then maybe C could pay 16% of cost to C.

The other option is that C could pay for all the petrol.

There isn't really a clear right or wrong here