Should petrol money and accommodation be charged?

[PinkStarAtNight]

I am looking for opinions on whether a person should be charged petrol money and accommodation fees or not.

So the situation is, person A and person B agreed to go on holiday with each other and booked a holiday together last year. They paid half for the holiday itself and, because it involves person A driving them there, they of course agreed they would split the petrol money.

Months later, person C, who is a close family member of person A, is going through a tough time and was invited to tag along on the holiday as they live alone and are struggling.

There is now a debate as to whether person C should pay a third of the petrol money and a third of the accommodation costs.

Accommodation has already been paid in full between person A and B, so paying for accommodation would involve person C handing over cash to person A and B to make it so they have essentially all paid a third each. And petrol money would be split three ways on the days of travel.

So...
Should person C pay an equal share of accommodation and petrol?

Or should they not have to pay, because person A and B planned this trip a while ago and would be paying half regardless of whether person C attends or not.

Person C will not be increasing costs in any way as the accommodation has always been big enough for three people, as person A and B booked a large caravan. Person C has agreed that they will not be dictating what happens on the holiday or factored into any decisions or plans for the activities, as they are only going because they don't want to be alone right now.

Also, does it make a difference that person C is close family member of one of the original people?

A has no right to be annoyed with B, especially after they’ve been accommodating and agreed to C coming on the holiday. A and C could have offered to pay for the bedding seeing as B is doing them a favour and hasn’t been offered any money off the cost of their holiday even though it’s now being split between more people.

Op, if you are A and you're trying to bring your boyfriend but not pay get him to pay then you're taking the absolute piss.

The trip is now for 3 people so needs to be a 3 way split. Alternatively, A and C go together and B gets a full refund if that is what she would prefer. I agree that B has been put in a difficult situation and might not feel she can be honest. If I was B, I would rather give it a miss altogether than have someone's partner, child, mother or whoever tag along, as it will completely change the dynamic and clearly the whole thing is already fraught with tension if you are arguing over money before you have even left the house.

Person B doesn't want to pay for bedding and not get bedding. Either their bed gets made up or they don't pay.

Person B is getting screwed over here and should at the very least get some if their money back. They didn't respond happily that Person C is coming just "yeah I thought this would happen"

Even think of the small things. There were two people in a car. Now there's 3. Who's sitting in the back? Presumably the person who doesn't live in the same house as the driver, so B.

If caravan is designed for 4, surely there's a double bed and two singles. So why wouldn't the double bed be made? Surely it would be the double and one of the singles for 3 people.

If person C is person As partner then as person B I’d be unhappy about going on a holiday with them now. It was supposed to be a friends breakaway and the dynamic has all changed.

not for me, as person B I’d be dropping out.

Is C the partner or child of A?

I feel really sorry for B!

If B puts a thread up, I will definitely advise her to step away from this mess and write off the money

How can you vote if you don't know what the OP is proposing as reasonable or unreasonable?

Anyway, this has disaster written all over it. And if they insist on having an awkward or disastrous holiday with three people instead of two, of course the third person should pay. Otherwise there will be simmering resentment if not actual falling out and estrangement.

The full story is in the original post. My previous OPs or partner has nothing to do with this situation. I never even said that I was one of the three people!

I was asking for opinions, not an enquiry into my life.

Thank you to the people who have offered their opinion in a useful way.

Well then OP, have you reached a conclusion? Is C paying their way?

You’ve had lots of helpful opinions OP, so it doesn’t seem too much to ask for you to contribute your own.

Yes they should. Particularly as A and C are related and therefore B is less likely to feel as comfortable as they would if they were just with A.

Plus? It’s the only way this is fair.

And @PinkStarAtNight I never even mentioned your previous threads or partner, so I don't know where you got that from?
And yes, you have drip fed the information, it wasn't all in the original post at all. Read your own updates ffs! 🙄

My previous OPs or partner has nothing to do with this situation.

That's good to hear. Really.

I think C needs to pay the same as everyone else but the beat solution would be for C not to come at all.

C should be paying a third. It shouldn't even be a question.

A and C are cheeky as fuck.

B should run for the hills.

C doesn’t pay accom, you don’t get invited or told you’re coming on holiday because you need support without also being clearly told cost. Suck it up. B brings bedding, and A & C split bedding costs. It’d be nice of c to kick in for petrol, but again if she doesn’t offer you probably have to suck it up and communicate better next time. Eg c: I can’t be alone right now! A: you could come, it would be £xx and petrol money if you wanted to do that?

C doesn’t pay accom, you don’t get invited or told you’re coming on holiday because you need support without also being clearly told cost. Suck it up

You can't know this.

I don't see why B should have her holiday upended and still pay for a holiday for two. Why should she suck it up?

Tricky only in the sense of close to one of the people. I would suggest Person A lightly suggest to Person B “I wonder if we should ask Person C to contribute towards the petrol and accommodation so it is shared”. If they look aghast maybe they pay all the petrol (if works out similar), or maybe just suggest they pay for the food shop again as long as inline with the share. I probably would have asked when the first comment was mooted.

I think it wise to raise the question, or if Person B is a very good friend, see how the holiday goes (ie Person C is ok), and just forget it.

I think if that was me in that situation i'd write off the caravan cost as you've already paid that and i'd split the petrol 3 ways.

If the accommodation is already paid then I wouldn’t ask for anything but petrol and bedding yes I would. Just casually say ok so it’s now £…per person.

You know how mumsnet works. It always descends into childish bickering over some made up scenario, sometimes totally unrelated to the OP. Enjoy.

You do realise the use of "bear" rather than "bare" was correct in the original quote? So no it was not SPAG related.

Yes they should pay- they’re benefiting from the holidays and surely it changes few things for an and B instead of being only them. C being a relative doesn’t matter at all.

I'm 99% sure OP is person C.

If a 3rd person is added then they need to pay a 3rd of the costs.