Should petrol money and accommodation be charged?

[PinkStarAtNight]

I am looking for opinions on whether a person should be charged petrol money and accommodation fees or not.

So the situation is, person A and person B agreed to go on holiday with each other and booked a holiday together last year. They paid half for the holiday itself and, because it involves person A driving them there, they of course agreed they would split the petrol money.

Months later, person C, who is a close family member of person A, is going through a tough time and was invited to tag along on the holiday as they live alone and are struggling.

There is now a debate as to whether person C should pay a third of the petrol money and a third of the accommodation costs.

Accommodation has already been paid in full between person A and B, so paying for accommodation would involve person C handing over cash to person A and B to make it so they have essentially all paid a third each. And petrol money would be split three ways on the days of travel.

So...
Should person C pay an equal share of accommodation and petrol?

Or should they not have to pay, because person A and B planned this trip a while ago and would be paying half regardless of whether person C attends or not.

Person C will not be increasing costs in any way as the accommodation has always been big enough for three people, as person A and B booked a large caravan. Person C has agreed that they will not be dictating what happens on the holiday or factored into any decisions or plans for the activities, as they are only going because they don't want to be alone right now.

Also, does it make a difference that person C is close family member of one of the original people?

If the caravan is for four people and one bed is a double, how can three beds be made up without the double being one of them?

I was in this situation where a vulnerable person was involved in a situation .
Being kind hearted, I thought of a solution after mulling it over in my mind. There was, for me , no cut and dried approach - rather A Loving Approach so I just said to her " Pay me what YOU think is fair." And she was very fair and generous.

Person C should cover food costs would be my suggestion.

I once paid for a holiday and was going to take one of my dogs and have a lively time exploring. Instead I invited a mate. We went in separate cars at her insistence. She said she'd pay for groceries and bought sod all - spent £20. The next shop she said it was My turn and she loaded the trolley with chocolate and crisps and stuff for herself. I'd arranged to catch up with 2 friends. She said she was too ill to go to visit the first one - her turn to drive c40Miles - but came to the secobdbone and was chuffed my friend copped for the whole bill.

Never again ever will I invite someone who is a little down to a holiday, lesson well and truly learnt....

Person C should pay a third unless there is a reason that would be difficult for them, for example if they have recently separated from a partner and gone from shared bills to paying it all or if they have lost a job etc. But even in situations like that person A and B need to both be in agreement and that agreement should have been reached between them before person C was invited.
Being a close family member to one person makes no difference in my opinion, if that person wants to cover 2 thirds because its their family its their choice but the other person shouldn't be obliged to do the same.

Yes person C should pay a third no matter who they are as they are basically having the same as person A and B.

That’s what I thought but having read the OP’s posts I think OP is A, C’s mum.

B being A’s good friend (up until now, at least).

C is a CF who is definitely being manipulative, essentially gatecrashing A & B’s weekend away and then for free

If A wants C to come then total costs should be split into 3 with A&C paying two thirds (how this is split between them is up to them) and B pays one third

Agree with pp that I wouldn’t be surprised if this was A & C’s plan from the start but did it the way they did so B subsidised the cost

OP you said in the original post that person C lives alone and further comments state now that person C lives with person A. Whichever way it sounds like B has been goaded into agreeing to C tagging along by both A and C. Considering C is all like they cannot be alone for a week it seems to me like they've used their situation to work in their favour to get to tag along on this holiday. Tell person C if they're wanting to tag along they can pay something toward the holiday as person B absolutely shouldn't have to pay half when an unplanned 3rd person is tagging along whilst the 3rd person pays nothing. I can imagine that person C will probably have an impact on some of the original holiday plans

For a harmonious situation all round it would be better if everyone paid equally their way.

So person C "lives alone" but doesn't want to be in a house on their own at night when A and B are on holiday because "usually A is there"?

1. 3 people instead of 2 in a 4 person caravan WILL make a difference. There will be less storage, less space in the fridge, less private space.
2. A should ask C to contribute towards the costs
3. B should not have to pay towards the bedding if they're bringing their own
4. C should offer to pay one third of petrol and caravan (and half the bedding)

If the holiday had been planned for 3 people how would costs have been split?

Has C not already offered? If not that’s very cheeky of them to say they can’t be alone knowing full well A is off on holiday as they were clearly angling for an invite. If A wants to cover C costs then they can but B shouldn’t be expected to if they don’t want to so C could just pay B their share. If the caravan sleeps 4 and has 1 double 2 single (is that correct?) why will the double not be made up, surely that’s only 2 beds with bedding on then? Also if your neither A B or C why are you involved?

Where did it say C lives alone? The OP said Person C lives with person A.

The full story is in the original post.

No, it’s not, OP-you keep adding bits and not answering questions properly…. you’ve said it’s a caravan for 4, but what bedrooms are there? One double and a twin?

Who is driving?
Is C the child or partner of A?

Has C offered any money? Is A expecting to pay for C?

It would make life easier all round and reduce the risk of any lingering resentment if C paid a third.

Always better to err on the side of being too generous than mean or mean-spirited, imho.

Person C should definitely and non-negotiably pay for their petrol and food share. As for accommodation, C should offer to pay and it's up to the others to accept or not.
Terrible idea, BTW, to bring the additional person. If I were person B I'd probably not go at all.

Jfc. This along with:

There will not be a 'food shop' - each person is taking a big bag of food from home. Takeaways and alcohol are not part of the plan as no one drinks and two of the three are on a diet

How can you call this a 'holiday'

It sounds miserable AF.

All depends on how much we’re talking… perhaps they could pay for couple of the meals out if the accommodation is already paid.

no reason they shouldn’t pay the contribution to fuel though - that’s not an already sunk expense.

Where did it say C lives alone? The OP said Person C lives with person A

In the third paragraph of the opening post.

Yes of course.

Oh yes!
Hmmm, yet they also say A and C live together.

Which is it, @PinkStarAtNight

If I was B I'd bail out of this tbh!! It doesn't seem very fair on B and B will probably feel like a spare part.

C is very unreasonable too and so is A for inviting C at the last minute.

What a mess!

Third para of the OP says C lives alone and is struggling. Later OP says A is usually with C at night. OP seems confused.

Is person C a small child? If so, then I can see why B assumed that they would be coming, and was presumably OK with paying half anyway.

If person C is not a small child, then obviously they should be paying!! But an easy way to sort that out would have been C paying the £40 bedding charge and most / all of the petrol.

Family relations matter. Person C should offer the third to A&B and A&B can say yes or no individually.

people may like C more or less, but they are coming and need to offer.

and A&B may be in different financial situations. Could make the difference in dinners orders, or another vacation.

I doubt B is happy that C is coming. Holiday was agreed and paid for and adding another person totally changes the dynamics. What else could they do but agree though? A should not have asked and C should not have been so manipulative.
Any decent person would offer to contribute especially having hijacked someone elses 'holiday'. Up to the others to accept or not.

Driving hours to just hang out in a confined space eating food from home sounds pretty grim though and having this extra person who B probably thought they'd gotten away from makes it even worse.