To be irritated by Asda card woman?

[ExitSandyman]

At our local Asda there is a woman who hangs around the cards - she’s ALWAYS there. She doesn’t seem to do much other than tidy up the shelves and bother customers. She wears a badge that’s says volunteer.

Anyway whenever you go down the cards aisle she will come over and ask if you need any help. No matter what your answer is, she will ask who you’re buying for and start pulling out cards that you might like.

I personally like to shop in peace. If I’m buying a card, I know the person I’m buying for and I know what kind of thing they’ll like.?having this woman pushing various cards into me is a distraction and an annoyance. Has anyone ever heard of these volunteers at Asda? Is it some kind of scheme? She’s been there well over a year. My heart sinks everytime I need a card and I see her stood there as she just won’t leave people alone.

and yeah I know people will say shop for cards elsewhere but I shouldn’t have to!

Just say no thanks and be polite. Have some tolerance.

She doesn't mean that. She means that she wants to get her cards from Asda, and she shouldn't have to go elsewhere because of this person.

@mummyh2016 I'm struggling to understand why some people are incapable of thinking: 'OK, this person has learning difficulties. Maybe I'll be patient and not a complete bell end to them'. Yes, she might not have understood 'no thank you.' But it isn't a big deal is it?
We have an adult with learning difficulties at work. I sometimes need to say the same things 10 times to her. But she is an absolute joy to work with and I'm proud to call her a colleague.
Or would you prefer it that adults with learning difficulties didn't do any volunteering? It seems to me - working on the card aisle is a great place to volunteer. It should be a low stress environment. Apart from the odd person with zero empathy or social skills.

@zyq Saying 'no thank you" may not be difficult for most but is for my child who has selective mutism and social anxiety.

I personally would interact with the volunteer, my child however would not and that's not him being rude or difficult, he simply cannot speak in certain situations. I am hoping with the current interventions he overcomes this but know for others this has not always been the case, so yes it may be a difficult thing to say for some people.

@Zyq

It sounds like the volunteer isn't taking no for an answer looking at what the OP has said. Perhaps she has trouble understanding?

Are you one of those volunteers? You seem quite protective of the scheme.

I wouldn't want someone helping me to choose a card, I like to choose myself. I think most people do as it's quite a personal thing, choosing a card for someone.

Yes it might, but OP is not irritated because of this sort of situation.

In my view she's just being unkind.

I think it's good that Asda has volunteers to help, particularly people with SEN. However I don't think the card section is perhaps the best place. I would say it's ok to tidy up the cards, but not to suggest cards for people.

If the individual can't understand being told by Asda 'please don't suggest cards for people, just tidy the card area', then they should be moved to another section.

There would be literally no problems here, but for that fact that this woman ignores shoppers who say they don’t need or want help. That’s the issue.

@OffToBedforshire I think it is great that you show so much compassion to someone in the workplace, it really is thoughtful and I truly hope someone has the same compassion of my son if he still has the anxieties he faces when he reaches adulthood. Although your last line made me feel saddened, you say 'apart from the odd person with zero empathy or social skills'.

My son has social anxiety and selective mutism so does not have the social skills, but hope someone will be empathetic towards him just as I would in the scenario with the Asda volunteer.

Wish I hadn't read this thread. Makaton sad face.

I've never heard of people volunteering in Asda, and I wouldn't really want help picking things (cards or anything else) in a supermarket. However, given everything that's been said here, I think (in your position) I'd just brace myself and have the conversation with her.

Thankfully not many for bereavement and illness

But you shop your way and I'll shop mine

I agree but is there a way to say no thank you and for that to be that? If I pop into a supermarket on a weekend or on an evening I would have time to engage and chat. If I go in on my lunch break in the week I can have 10 minutes to get what I need and pay. I don't have time to chat. If I knew I was going to have an issue where I was going to be stuck in a card aisle for those 10 minutes I'd likely go to a different supermarket to get what I needed. I'm sorry if that makes me an arsehole but if I genuinely don't have time to engage it's either I do that or I risk offending the worker by walking away/ignoring her offers for help. I'm not objecting to the scheme and if anything I'm in support of it but it's not always going to work in the way it's intended. In an ideal world if the worker doesn't understand no thank you there would be someone else to guide her and offer alternatives but Asda are unlikely to employ someone just to do that. I don't know what the answer is but the responses on here suggest that people are rude for not allowing the lady to help when that isn't necessarily the intention.

Which as the OP stated is ignored...

Why should only the volunteer's needs be considered?

Repeatedly its been pointed out that she doesn't take No for an answer

For other people with MH and SEN needs this could be incredibly difficult. Even just politely asking her to stop once can be hard. Having that ignored can be harder still.

Shopping can be quite a stressful environment anyway, add in being forced into social contact with someone who doesn't take your polite attempt to dissuade them on board and it can become overwhelming

A lot of disabilities and mental health issues can cause communication issues.

Personally I have autism so yes my communication skills are piss poor.

I would struggle with this situation but personally I wouldn’t say anything and just start shopping elsewhere. Then again I rarely go into Asda because those lights are just so damn bright.

I also no longer go into Lush because I can’t get the stuff to STFU 😂

It's great that Asda are supporting people with learning difficulties, but they do need to be trained properly. On the whole I'm pretty confident dealing with situations out and about and I'm happy to chat with people, but I get really stressed by people trying to sell things to me. I've left shops because of it. It would really bother me. Fine if she offers and then leaves you alone, but from the description it seems she won't take no for an answer, which would make me very stressed.

Fuck me, the lack of compassion and empathy in this world (MN!) amazes me.
Maybe she doesn't listen when you say "no thank you". Maybe you have to spend a whole two more minutes talking to her. Ah well. Sometimes we have to do things we're not always that keen on to make someone else feel better and valued.

Stop being so precious. We're all busy. Maybe take a couple of minutes out of your oh so busy day to think about someone else?

Everyone with autism is different.

Personally I can only be happy and chatty when talking about my latest obsession. So unless people want me to talk non stop about Harry Potter all day then I am sure people would prefer I stay quiet 😂

How unpleasant you are.
Im not madly keen on shopping but have some lovely interactions with other people when out and about.
People just want to feel connected and will make conversation, sometimes I’m busy and will keep it short and friendly-other times I will have a little chat.
I mean unless your running the country how BUSY can you be to not have some humanity 🤷🏼‍♀️

How many cards are you buying??

I didn't know Asda did this either. Good for them.

I'd manage the situation with the cards OP because the good it's doing far outweighs your inconvenience.

You’ll just have to be firm but polite. ‘I like to shop in peace, thank you for your time but please stop helping now’.

Bless her, but, if you can why not just let her help? Interact with her, she’s trying to do something good. Think of how different you could make her day if she’d felt like she’d helped you.

Failing the above, go to card factory.

I'm with you and the op too, I don't want to be pestered when I'm doing my shopping. I'm socially awkward as it is, never mind if someone keeps going after saying "no thank you"

The "not taking no for an answer" could easily be a part of her particular disability/difficulties and if so, Asda could be in a tricky situation addressing that. Discipline for something that is directly resultant of a disability is a major no no legally.

Now this lovely lady wouldn't bother me and I'd let her help me pick something out, but failing this, just maybe don't get your cards from Asda?