To be irritated by Asda card woman?

[ExitSandyman]

At our local Asda there is a woman who hangs around the cards - she’s ALWAYS there. She doesn’t seem to do much other than tidy up the shelves and bother customers. She wears a badge that’s says volunteer.

Anyway whenever you go down the cards aisle she will come over and ask if you need any help. No matter what your answer is, she will ask who you’re buying for and start pulling out cards that you might like.

I personally like to shop in peace. If I’m buying a card, I know the person I’m buying for and I know what kind of thing they’ll like.?having this woman pushing various cards into me is a distraction and an annoyance. Has anyone ever heard of these volunteers at Asda? Is it some kind of scheme? She’s been there well over a year. My heart sinks everytime I need a card and I see her stood there as she just won’t leave people alone.

and yeah I know people will say shop for cards elsewhere but I shouldn’t have to!

Glad there are so mainly saintly people who are willing to be kind and patient and spend all day chatting and being endlessly charitable. Me? I’ve got my own bucket of shit going on, I’ve got a big shop to do and I’m so time poor I could cry - I just want to choose the card in the most efficient way I can and get the hell out.

Call me horrible but I’m with you op.

Well, if the volunteer does have a learning disability as many are suggesting then that’s not really fair either. She ‘shouldn’t have to’ have a learning disability. The levels of perceived injustice are really skewed.

I am sorry that your communication skills are so poor that you don't know how to make conversation with this woman OP. Keep trying and maybe one day you'll be able to talk to all kinds of people, even people different to you.

Aw OP cant you ask her to choose you the 5 cards for a £1 (or similar offer)?

She just wants to be helpful and it isn’t intentional that she irritates you.

Im not sure if I might take it too far but I would probably ask if they do cards for neighbours with new dogs, specific happy birthday cards for bosses etc etc

But that must take 30 seconds at most
The trauma.
I didn't know asda did this scheme and I think slightly better of them for it.

How many cards are you buying and how frequently that this bothers you so much?

It's hardly "saintly" to respond kindly.

It's sad in my view that it seems so hard for some people to exercise a bit of understanding.

I don’t go to shop to chat, I’m busy and need to be in and out.

Perhaps you could get a very large badge saying "don't talk to me. I'm busy".

Shame your empathy skills only work intermittently too.

OP, do you shop there for cards often? I usually get all mine in one go for upcoming birthdays over the next few months. I imagine this isn’t a weekly thing?

I agree with a previous suggestion, could you ask her to get the 5 for £1, whilst you choose the one you want? I had a security guard in Morrisons speak to me for about 5 minutes the other day about the new baskets. He had SEN and actually I could tell he really enjoyed sharing his knowledge. He was nice and cheery, I thought he was lovely.

I like to shop in peace too but if you alter your perspective, it probably won’t annoy you anymore.

Have you read the original post? Try it, extra hard this time, and you’ll see the OP says they try to 'help' even if told not to.

How many cards a week are you buying if you allow yourself to get irritated by this vounteer.

Did all those posters telling the OP to just say "no thanks" to the volunteer not bother reading her post? The OP has made very clear that it doesn't matter what you say to the volunteer, she still continues pulling out cards for you.

A scheme to help people with additional needs learn work skills is good but only if implemented properly. Asda leaving their volunteer alone and not training her is not helpful. This person needs to learn that if a customer declines their help then they should step back and leave the customer alone. It's rather basic life skills.

You do realise that there will be customers with additional needs like ASD, mental illness like anxiety, cognitive issues, suffering bereavement etc who find it difficult and uncomfortable to engage with people, especially when they aren’t expecting to have to… like in a supermarket.

Do you have any empathy for these people? or is it one way?

It’s maybe not so bad if the volunteer accept a no thanks straight away, but if she persists then some people find that difficult for good reason.

I am very sad indeed to read of someone so blatantly signally a total lack of empathy. Just as sad to see that over 60 per cent of people don’t think the OP is unreasonable (although the actual comments give a different picture I know).

Honestly OP how much can this possibly affect your day? How often are you in there buying cards? Compared to the benefits that undertaking this work apparently bring to the volunteer? And yes I’ve heard of the volunteers, yes it’s a “scheme” for want of a better way of putting it, also, resolutely yes I think you are unreasonable for taking such exception to this woman.

@JanglingJackI Love Asda for employing people with learning disabilities.

I was in a small asda quite recently and had a lovely chat with a girl with downs syndrome working on the tills. she was lovely and very confident. her mother must be so proud of her.

I'm autistic.

I have to put my game face / mask on just to get out of the house.

Everyone I meet thinks that I'm really chatty and smiley.

It's bloody exhausting, but well worth it.

It's one a week at most, sometimes once a month. I'm sure OP can go to a card shop. Asda card selection is shit anyway.

That's lovely to read.

It doesn't take much does it?

Try it extra hard this time.

You're so lovely, even if you make little sense 😂

If I'm shopping for cards in Asda it's usually for something unexpected like a bereavement or illness/hospital stay ... the last thing I want then is to be forced into social contact with someone who can't understand no or that there is a place for interaction and a place for space.

It's great that she's been given this chance BUT it doesn't give her carte blanc to cause upset and annoyance to others. Many people will engage, some won't. Some will have their own SEN and MH needs.

"The volunteer by the cards can come across as a bit overwhelming sometimes" is fair feedback

It's not "she has no place in society" as some seem to think

Listen to music on your headphones, smile at her and say hello and politely decline her offer of help.
It's not bloody hard.

For those saying "just say no"

No matter what your answer is, she will ask who you’re buying for and start pulling out cards that you might like.

Oh, I love that.

I had a security guard in Morrisons speak to me for about 5 minutes the other day about the new baskets. He had SEN and actually I could tell he really enjoyed sharing his knowledge.

I want to chat baskets with him! This is so lovely 🩷