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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be irritated by Asda card woman?

236 replies

ExitSandyman · 10/04/2024 20:57

At our local Asda there is a woman who hangs around the cards - she’s ALWAYS there. She doesn’t seem to do much other than tidy up the shelves and bother customers. She wears a badge that’s says volunteer.

Anyway whenever you go down the cards aisle she will come over and ask if you need any help. No matter what your answer is, she will ask who you’re buying for and start pulling out cards that you might like.

I personally like to shop in peace. If I’m buying a card, I know the person I’m buying for and I know what kind of thing they’ll like.?having this woman pushing various cards into me is a distraction and an annoyance. Has anyone ever heard of these volunteers at Asda? Is it some kind of scheme? She’s been there well over a year. My heart sinks everytime I need a card and I see her stood there as she just won’t leave people alone.

and yeah I know people will say shop for cards elsewhere but I shouldn’t have to!

OP posts:
Northernsouloldies · 11/04/2024 02:57

We are all busy but are you sooo important you can't spare a few minutes for another person with perhaps learning difficulties.there are a couple of staff in my local Asda as above,they get their wee chat and go back to what they were doing.

JanglingJack · 11/04/2024 03:02

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 11/04/2024 01:58

If I'm shopping for cards in Asda it's usually for something unexpected like a bereavement or illness/hospital stay ... the last thing I want then is to be forced into social contact with someone who can't understand no or that there is a place for interaction and a place for space.

It's great that she's been given this chance BUT it doesn't give her carte blanc to cause upset and annoyance to others. Many people will engage, some won't. Some will have their own SEN and MH needs.

"The volunteer by the cards can come across as a bit overwhelming sometimes" is fair feedback

It's not "she has no place in society" as some seem to think

How many cards are you buying?

Surely it's such a rare occurrence that you can ignore the help on offer. I'm sure OP has massively over exaggerated the situation.

Or if like OP, it does get all too much, other card retailers are available.

Stock up online maybe?

I only ever buy from Asda's shockingly shit range if I'm giving zero thought to it anyway.

I certainly wouldn't be buying from them if I were immersed in grief. Chucking a card in my basket with the bananas.

Spencer0220 · 11/04/2024 03:10

TokyoSushi · 10/04/2024 22:31

OP, just give her 30 seconds or do your card shopping at a different time/somewhere else. She clearly has a reason to be there and a bit of kindness goes a long way.

This.

Asda are well known for their work with sen adults.

My mum knew the SEN gentleman who worked in the vegetable aisle. He always chatted to her for 10 minutes whenever she went in. It made his day to tell her he was being "promoted" to HQ to help with the filing.

Have compassion OP. This lady is learning a very valuable life skill. You had to do that once.

Noyesnoyes · 11/04/2024 03:42

@ExitSandyman you're being totally unreasonable!

It's a few minutes out of your day occasionally, to just be patient and interact.

Honestly, no one's life is that busy.

Be kind!

Noyesnoyes · 11/04/2024 03:44

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 11/04/2024 01:58

If I'm shopping for cards in Asda it's usually for something unexpected like a bereavement or illness/hospital stay ... the last thing I want then is to be forced into social contact with someone who can't understand no or that there is a place for interaction and a place for space.

It's great that she's been given this chance BUT it doesn't give her carte blanc to cause upset and annoyance to others. Many people will engage, some won't. Some will have their own SEN and MH needs.

"The volunteer by the cards can come across as a bit overwhelming sometimes" is fair feedback

It's not "she has no place in society" as some seem to think

Upset and annoyance?

Bloody hell you are delicate!

Starseeking · 11/04/2024 03:59

My understanding is that Asda supports people with LD by allowing them to volunteer there.

One of my DC has LD and I'd be thrilled if they were able to reach a stage of independence that they could carry out a volunteer job at Asda.

It's extremely unkind of you not to have even thought about why she might be a volunteer, or even just spoken to a manager to say you would prefer not to be bothered while shopping, bearing in mind this lady may not be as aware of social cues/norms as you are.

Sladuf · 11/04/2024 04:30

I think you’ve had a lot of unfair responses here, OP.
People have overlooked the fact that you clearly stated you’ll still get asked who you’re buying for and have cards pulled out and shown to you regardless of what answer you give to being approached and asked if you need help by this lady.

@DaniMontyRae ’s reply is the best on this thread for me. Based on OP’s post, it seems ASDA has failed to implement this well-meaning scheme well in this instance. I can imagine OP has politely said doesn’t need help today, thanks but this lady doesn’t know when to take a cue from that and leave the customer be.
ASDA needs to do better here and actually I think the feedback to the store is probably required to make them realise that some supervision/training is needed.

It’s not fair on the lady in question either. I imagine you aren’t the only customer who feels the same way and people probably avoid going down the aisle now when she’s there. Wonder if anyone’s replied with an answer like, “yes, I need some nutmeg, go get me some,” or some other random product that would be in a completely different aisle? I’ll bet at least one person has played a prank.

Noyesnoyes · 11/04/2024 05:25

Sladuf · 11/04/2024 04:30

I think you’ve had a lot of unfair responses here, OP.
People have overlooked the fact that you clearly stated you’ll still get asked who you’re buying for and have cards pulled out and shown to you regardless of what answer you give to being approached and asked if you need help by this lady.

@DaniMontyRae ’s reply is the best on this thread for me. Based on OP’s post, it seems ASDA has failed to implement this well-meaning scheme well in this instance. I can imagine OP has politely said doesn’t need help today, thanks but this lady doesn’t know when to take a cue from that and leave the customer be.
ASDA needs to do better here and actually I think the feedback to the store is probably required to make them realise that some supervision/training is needed.

It’s not fair on the lady in question either. I imagine you aren’t the only customer who feels the same way and people probably avoid going down the aisle now when she’s there. Wonder if anyone’s replied with an answer like, “yes, I need some nutmeg, go get me some,” or some other random product that would be in a completely different aisle? I’ll bet at least one person has played a prank.

Oh get over yourself!

If this annoys you, you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

ASighMadeOfStone · 11/04/2024 05:45

Sladuf · 11/04/2024 04:30

I think you’ve had a lot of unfair responses here, OP.
People have overlooked the fact that you clearly stated you’ll still get asked who you’re buying for and have cards pulled out and shown to you regardless of what answer you give to being approached and asked if you need help by this lady.

@DaniMontyRae ’s reply is the best on this thread for me. Based on OP’s post, it seems ASDA has failed to implement this well-meaning scheme well in this instance. I can imagine OP has politely said doesn’t need help today, thanks but this lady doesn’t know when to take a cue from that and leave the customer be.
ASDA needs to do better here and actually I think the feedback to the store is probably required to make them realise that some supervision/training is needed.

It’s not fair on the lady in question either. I imagine you aren’t the only customer who feels the same way and people probably avoid going down the aisle now when she’s there. Wonder if anyone’s replied with an answer like, “yes, I need some nutmeg, go get me some,” or some other random product that would be in a completely different aisle? I’ll bet at least one person has played a prank.

Asda have not failed to implement the scheme properly.

Our shit, ablist society have failed to accept that people different to us belong in it just as much as we do.

And twats cause havoc and play tricks on retail staff whether they have LDs or not. That's because they've been brought up by people who have never told them not to.

ASighMadeOfStone · 11/04/2024 05:46

Screamingabdabz · 10/04/2024 23:11

Glad there are so mainly saintly people who are willing to be kind and patient and spend all day chatting and being endlessly charitable. Me? I’ve got my own bucket of shit going on, I’ve got a big shop to do and I’m so time poor I could cry - I just want to choose the card in the most efficient way I can and get the hell out.

Call me horrible but I’m with you op.

All day chatting and being endlessly sociable?

Has said nobody except you tbf.

Bestyearever2024 · 11/04/2024 06:17

I appreciate that some of us are particularly busy and don't have the time to chat

But a 'no thanks, but thank you so much for offering to help' takes about 6 seconds. Maybe 8 seconds if you add in a kind smile

Let's go all out and say it might take ten seconds...and then if she asks again ....another ten seconds

20 seconds, tops, and you are too time poor to allow 20 seconds of kindness ?

Wow. Just wow. What is the matter with you?

happyasharry · 11/04/2024 06:37

Moier · 10/04/2024 21:41

My friends daughter volunteers in the cafe at ASDA.. she is SEN.. They are well known for doing this.. some lead to part time work.

Do you mean she HAS sen?

KoolKookaburra · 11/04/2024 06:47

No matter what your answer is, she will ask who you’re buying for and start pulling out cards that you might like.

So what do you say? You could repeat your "I'd like to choose on my own" or whatever?

KoolKookaburra · 11/04/2024 06:49

Also just how many cards are you buying from Asda that this is a problem for you?

Wildgeen · 11/04/2024 06:54

Frizzyleaf · 11/04/2024 00:37

You do realise that there will be customers with additional needs like ASD, mental illness like anxiety, cognitive issues, suffering bereavement etc who find it difficult and uncomfortable to engage with people, especially when they aren’t expecting to have to… like in a supermarket.

Do you have any empathy for these people? or is it one way?

It’s maybe not so bad if the volunteer accept a no thanks straight away, but if she persists then some people find that difficult for good reason.

Show quote history

This! Spot on.

Wildgeen · 11/04/2024 07:00

DaniMontyRae · 11/04/2024 00:33

Did all those posters telling the OP to just say "no thanks" to the volunteer not bother reading her post? The OP has made very clear that it doesn't matter what you say to the volunteer, she still continues pulling out cards for you.

A scheme to help people with additional needs learn work skills is good but only if implemented properly. Asda leaving their volunteer alone and not training her is not helpful. This person needs to learn that if a customer declines their help then they should step back and leave the customer alone. It's rather basic life skills.

Precisely. It’s patronising BS.

Instead of wanting this individual to be trained properly by this huge corporation and gain some valuable work & life skills, people are falling all over each other to be appear the most “charitable” and say her approach is fine when it’s clearly stressing some customers out. It’s better for all concerned if volunteers are trained appropriately.

mummyh2016 · 11/04/2024 07:06

Bestyearever2024 · 11/04/2024 06:17

I appreciate that some of us are particularly busy and don't have the time to chat

But a 'no thanks, but thank you so much for offering to help' takes about 6 seconds. Maybe 8 seconds if you add in a kind smile

Let's go all out and say it might take ten seconds...and then if she asks again ....another ten seconds

20 seconds, tops, and you are too time poor to allow 20 seconds of kindness ?

Wow. Just wow. What is the matter with you?

The majority of your post is irrelevant. OP has said this person doesn't take no for an answer. So you can get off your high horse and instead of asking what's wrong with the OP you can start reading posts correctly.

Everyone saying oh it's only a few minutes, has the OP said they have a few minutes to spend chatting? I sometimes pop to Asda on my lunch break to get a few bits. I get 30 minutes. On a bad day it can take me 10 minutes to get there so I have 10 minutes max in store. I don't have a few minutes to chat. Am I supposed to be late back to work and risk getting told off/disciplinary just so I don't risk offending someone? If this lady won't take no for answer I'm not sure how you're supposed to get away without being rude - and that's what the issue is. No one wants to be the arsehole that offended someone with SEN.

OffToBedforshire · 11/04/2024 07:08

Screamingabdabz · 10/04/2024 23:11

Glad there are so mainly saintly people who are willing to be kind and patient and spend all day chatting and being endlessly charitable. Me? I’ve got my own bucket of shit going on, I’ve got a big shop to do and I’m so time poor I could cry - I just want to choose the card in the most efficient way I can and get the hell out.

Call me horrible but I’m with you op.

Everyone has their own shit going on. And I'm willing to bet some people have more difficult lives then you and still aren't bell ends to adults with learning difficulties.
It literally takes a few seconds to smile and say 'I'm ok thanks' when asked if you want help.

mummyh2016 · 11/04/2024 07:10

@OffToBedforshire OP has said a no thank you doesn't work.

I'm not sure why so many people are struggling to understand this.

Noyesnoyes · 11/04/2024 07:11

@mummyh2016 judging by your post I don't think you'd have a problem being that arsehoje.

Where has OP said she doesn't have a few minutes? So that bit of your post is irrelevant.

OffToBedforshire · 11/04/2024 07:13

@Deathbyfluffy I tried extra, extra, extra hard and read between the lines and noticed the OP (and you) are impatient and rude with zero empathy.

Ilovemyshed · 11/04/2024 07:17

Too busy? So sad when people cannot find 1 minute of their day to be patient with someone who may have challenges. Oh to be SO busy and self important.

OP if you take a deep breath and engage a little bit you will find it quite rewarding and it will make your day so much better.

Off now ... busy busy busy ... so busy.

Bestyearever2024 · 11/04/2024 07:17

mummyh2016 · 11/04/2024 07:06

The majority of your post is irrelevant. OP has said this person doesn't take no for an answer. So you can get off your high horse and instead of asking what's wrong with the OP you can start reading posts correctly.

Everyone saying oh it's only a few minutes, has the OP said they have a few minutes to spend chatting? I sometimes pop to Asda on my lunch break to get a few bits. I get 30 minutes. On a bad day it can take me 10 minutes to get there so I have 10 minutes max in store. I don't have a few minutes to chat. Am I supposed to be late back to work and risk getting told off/disciplinary just so I don't risk offending someone? If this lady won't take no for answer I'm not sure how you're supposed to get away without being rude - and that's what the issue is. No one wants to be the arsehole that offended someone with SEN.

Show quote history

That's tough - a 30 minute lunch break doesn't allow for much of anything to be achieved. I understand, same for me.

Luckily I have my high horse to take me to places. Super fast 🤪🥳

Zyq · 11/04/2024 07:20

Princesspollyyy · 10/04/2024 21:46

She shouldn't have to shop elsewhere

Show quote history

So she can say "No, thank you". It's not difficult.

Zyq · 11/04/2024 07:24

and yeah I know people will say shop for cards elsewhere but I shouldn’t have to!

Why does anyone have a god-given right to get their cards at Asda? I didn't like the selection in our local Asda and had to shop elsewhere last time I bought a birthday card. Should I complain that I shouldn't have had to do that and they should have tailored their selection to my tastes?