Guy lied about which university he went to

[Snoopy104]

We were talking about our backgrounds etc. And he told me he'd been to the 'uni of' of the town, which has a good rep.
I live pretty much next door to that uni so I asked him if he'd lived in halls close by.
He said no he'd lived in an area in the South of the city as his campus was based there.
The area he mentioned is a very nice, affluent neighbourhood and I had a look at the campus.
It turns out the 'uni of' doesn't have a campus there, it's the 'poly' that has a campus there.
I couldn't care less what uni he went to or even if he went to uni, I went to one of these so-called 'lesser' unis for my masters and I think in the grand scheme of things nobody really cares where you went, the right people wouldn't anyway.
However, the lying is a red flag for me. I get it was maybe to try and impress me or that he felt embarrassed, but the lying makes me uncomfortable. Would you say this is a red flag?

Yes! I spent my first year at Manchester uni in Met halls in the south. The Met took pity on the uni running out of accommodation for its first years so we were a combo of Man Uni, Man Met and UMIST (it still existed then!) in those halls - showing my age!

Don't see the issue. People fudge because people judge. Hardly the crime of the century. I went to a red brick btw

I went to the university of Liverpool and my DS went to John Moores. I know for a fact he says ‘Liverpool university’ when he’s asked 🤣

Because it’s a lie

How would you know though? Presumably he went there some time ago and they could have changed things around by then.

For example my local (top 10) uni has a link-up with the local college whereby top graduates from that college get a top-up year at the uni and their paperwork will say that uni.

Also universities sometimes use facilities of other institutions on a temporary basis.

I went to a ‘brand name’ university but on another campus so my story might not check out unless you know the real specifics of how that uni runs their courses.

if it bothers you so much, ask for more details next time you meet. There’s a fair chance he isn’t lying.

To be fair I always say I went to “X” even though there’s a poly & a uni of. No one cares. I just can’t ever be bothered to say “no not that one.. the other one.” It’s just become a habit at this point!

I get asked this too when I say I work in the uni. It's about people wanting to make connections & find shared ground, in general.
There's also a fair smattering of 'the proper uni or the other one?' going on.

I don’t think it is too big a deal unless they are really weaving a grand tale of their own importance.
Oppositely, my kids and their friends are all denying where they went to school (independent). It’s very sad, but a necessity to fit in in certain jobs - theatre, the arts, civil service,local government.

I once said to a friend I went to the University of London. He said - the poly? I said, no, the University of London. He said 'honey, there are only 2 universities in the UK, the rest are polytechnics. It is people like this friend of mine which make people insecure and want to make up stories about polytechnics being universities. Sad.

@Ace56 I am almost 50. I had never heard of Polytechnics until I was well into adulthood - probably around my early 30s when my (now) husband was explaining the difference of how when he went to uni it was actually a poly.
I am not from a university going background - the differences between all the different universities wasn't on my radar. To be honest when I was at school I thought university was something you only went to if you wanted to learn how to actually "be" something - doctor, teacher, vet, lawyer etc and gain the relevant qualifications to do that job.
It's only in the last few years (mostly through reading Mumsnet) that I have learned many people go for the life experience !

Not about the ‘poly’, mate, it’s about the lie.

Are people not understanding that?

Your friend is a dick, what on earth is he talking about?

Are people missing where the OP said he left university 5 YEARS AGO.
This clearly has nothing to do with whether it was uni vs poly.
It's about him telling a lie and the OP being a bit (I hate to say it @Snoopy104 ) a bit stalker like.

So many red flags here. Run for the hills. Perhaps try and humiliate him in public first? You deserve so much better than this. Men are such vile creatures.

I'm sure all of you decrying that he is evil and terrible because of a potential white lie (which might not be a white lie based on OP's superficial stalking) have never told a lie ever!

Also, I'm sure if OP came here saying "I was talking to my new partner about university and mentioned where I'd been and that I stayed elsewhere. The next time we met he said he'd looked it up and I must be lying because the campus by where I was staying was for the old polytechnic not the university of city. Is this creepy? (Oh and I did go to University of City. I stayed in accommodation across town because it was cheaper/when I went the campus was part of UofC but was later sold to the old polytechnic)" then the partner would be called creepy, she'd be told to run, it was a red flag etc

I'd keep an open mind. Maybe it changed names? Maybe he's confused? Maybe he did cross credits?

My first degree was a three year one and I graduated from X university. However I did the first two years of it at Y university and cross credited it to finish. To add to that, that could sound like a lie because most universities now won't cross credit more than a year, but they did for me then. In a discussion I would tell you in the same breath that I graduated X university. I'd also tell you I'd attended Y university, which I did for two years, even though I didn't graduate from that one in the end. Tertiary education can be all sorts of constructions sometimes.

I'd keep an eye on it though. If you find it's less honest in other areas, then I'd have more concerns.

YABU and a snob to say “poly” and look down on it because of that, and the amount of research you’ve put into looking into it is weird. Red flag. You not him.

Not sure he actually lied. You had the chance to ask him to clarify Uni & Campus which might have changed … oh well

It is odd for someone to pretend they went to a higher ranking uni than they did. I went to a very low ranking uni in London and it would be the equivalent of me saying I went to UCL or Imperial if someone who went to Anglia Ruskin said Uni of Cambridge or said Uni of Nottingham for Nottingham Trent. Different if he'd said I went to Uni IN Nottingham, which is fine.

He'd already stated the name of the Uni as eg. The University of Nottingham, so there would be no reason for OP to ask which uni and whether he meant Nottingham Trent.

Who has said he's evil and terrible? I must have missed those posts...

Love the fudge/judge concept! I’m pretty surprised, it being so many years since polys became unis, that there’s still such strong views agin’ them. The original concept of polys - as well as the innovative unis many became - should be something to be proud of. Agree that the guy probably thought he’d be judged. The most straightforward thing would be to just ask him to clarify which of the two he went to.

Just ask him if it bothers you that much! I had a work colleague in London once who was tres posh, daddy was a bigwig in Shell, and she referenced her studies in Oxford. Turned out to be Oxford Brookes, not Oxford uni!

He's definitely insecure, maybe pay attention to see if he's lying about more stuff.
If he's just ashamed and lied because he's insecure I wouldn't really mind, definitely he's not perfect, but nobody's perfect, right?

Guys who lie to try to manipulate your impression of them are gross.

It has made me lose respect in that they lie so much about everything my now default is to believe nothing they say anymore.