Guy lied about which university he went to

[Snoopy104]

We were talking about our backgrounds etc. And he told me he'd been to the 'uni of' of the town, which has a good rep.
I live pretty much next door to that uni so I asked him if he'd lived in halls close by.
He said no he'd lived in an area in the South of the city as his campus was based there.
The area he mentioned is a very nice, affluent neighbourhood and I had a look at the campus.
It turns out the 'uni of' doesn't have a campus there, it's the 'poly' that has a campus there.
I couldn't care less what uni he went to or even if he went to uni, I went to one of these so-called 'lesser' unis for my masters and I think in the grand scheme of things nobody really cares where you went, the right people wouldn't anyway.
However, the lying is a red flag for me. I get it was maybe to try and impress me or that he felt embarrassed, but the lying makes me uncomfortable. Would you say this is a red flag?

He clearly wanted to impress you. It isn't a red flag for me. It depends what vibe you got from him. But if you feel uncomfortable then consider whether you're just looking for a reason not to date him, your intuition is picking up on something, or for you it's particularly important to be black and white on such details.

@Snoopy104 out of curiosity how old are you?
You said he went to university 5 years ago - so are you both in your 20s?
If so all this talk of "polys" is odd - because they are literally before your time.
To be honest you clearly don't trust him and you possibly don't have much in common (you like gigs, he doesn't) - so why are you with him?
If you don't trust him it's time to end the relationship.

Are you 100% sure they lied? The whole scenario seems quite vague. Can you check what they put on LinkedIn or Facebook or what their uni friends have put?

@Snoopy104 have you asked to see his degree certificate to clear this up?

@Snoopy104 You could give him the benefit of the doubt and think that he's just wanting to make the best impression possible, he likes you, and he's a bit nervous. He may settle down, become more comfortable, and this will be a thing that you can laugh about.

OR it may be that he repeatedly and consistently twists the truth for whatever reason, you (understandably) don't like it, and you go your separate ways.

I knew someone who really was a bit barking I think. A friend of a relative. She'd done a two week secretarial course at a college in Oxford, but her story grew arms and legs and within a few years she was claiming she'd been at Oxford university and was friends with David Cameron et al.

Yeah, I guess I should try to give him the benefit of the doubt. I know the lie didn't come from a bad place as such but it just makes me a little wary.

It reminds me of an d acquaintance who told me her daughter was at Cambridge University. I said how fabulous etc (as it was/is) and asked which college and she looked at me like I’d asked the most stupid question.

I later hear she was at AR and had been telling everyone she was ‘at Cambridge’.

How do you know (for certain) that he lied?

@Snoopy104 if it's a lie, it DID come from a bad place and you should be wary. Someone who lies about something so insignificant has serious insecurities and you don't want to be dealing with them down the line.

Why should you give him the benefit of the doubt?

It straightaway makes me think of those fraudsters who lie about everything. I think it's quite a major deal to lie about a big part of your

This is actually a good point. Back in the day, if you went to a Polytechnic, many of the degrees had were endorsed by an actual university so you actually got the degree from x university. For example, I would have had a degree from Nottingham Trent but the place I went became a uni in my final year.

So is it technically lying if he went to college x but his degree was from the ‘nicer’ one down the road?

I don't think it ever was a poly. I applied for a place there when it was Liverpool Institute and it was when Polys still existed. Applied through UCCA (for universities) not PCAS (for Poly's). A friend went there and got his degree from Liverpool University. Not sure if that's the case still but could muddy the waters if you were to say you had a degree from Liverpool uni - technically that would be true.

I’m with you @Snoopy104 I’d be wary if he felt he had to be ‘inaccurate’ or whatever you want to call it, to try and impress you. Low self esteem, is tiresome and draining at best within this context.

@Disasterclass, I did my BA and MA there - I remember someone much older than myself calling it a “poly”, but it sounds like you are correct.
I do recall there being some sort of tie to the uni of Liverpool when it came to graduations (maybe for postgrad or PHD level).
But people tend to be quite distinct, either saying they went to “the uni of” meaning the red brick, or they’ll say they went to Hope (from my experience).

Oh come on, everyone knows the ex-polys are shitter than the actual ‘uni of’ universities. You don’t have to have been around when they were called polytechnics to know that. 18 year olds today would know - all you have to do is look at the entry requirements!

OP, I agree with pp that it’s an amber flag - he’s clearly a bit insecure so is lying to impress you. Nothing sinister atm, but what else could he lie about?

Yes indeed !!

Exactly this. So he’s been a bit ambiguous or mentioned a slightly inaccurate title whilst chatting away. OP I really don’t think you can write him off as a red flag for this at this point because: 1. You must be 100% sure you are 100% factually correct yourself about the status of his uni at the time he was as a student and also 2. You cannot be 100% sure he is lying rather than making a slip of the tongue or lazy terminology about the uni title by mistake. It’s easily done.

If I were you I’d just ask him to clarify ie “which uni did you say you went to again? Only I thought that uni didn’t have a campus there?” This will give you your clarification as to whether he’s just got his words mixed up or whether he’s telling a white lie (and it IS a white lie not a biggie). If he is telling a white lie then maybe call him out on it or don’t but you’d have to then decide I guess whether you can live with it. If you can I’d be watching him like a hawk to see if it was a one off white lie (many people do this to avoid judgment or to try and impress) or if he’s a serial liar which of course is a red flag.

I went to the 2nd university in a city but if I said I went to [city] University or the University of [city] then it would be a different uni and a much higher ranking one too. Even after many (many) years have passed, I wouldn't muddle up what I said my uni was called and mistakenly use the more prestigious uni name unless I was doing that deliberately.

Personally I'd be weary because if he feels he needs to lie about something like that then what else would he also lie about? He's either comfortable enough around you to be honest or he's not, and if not, is it really worth it?

I hate lying but in this instance would probably just have asked him to clarify which uni when he mentioned the campus location.

He mentioned where he lived and which campus so it’s not like he’s pretending he went to a different uni.

How long ago? For example Manchester uni used to have a campus in the south of the city, but when they built a new one they sold the old one to Man Met.

Ugh that interviewer sounds like a right dick! People absolutely should have their facts straight before trying to call someone out for lying!! Especially in a bloody job interview that’s so awful and where it wasn’t even relevant detail. What a knob- I hope you told her to stick the job!

I went to Manchester Uni but stayed in halls in the south of the city which were part of the ‘Poly’ as the uni had run out of accommodation (it was my insurance as I didn’t get the grades for my first choice) but all my lectures were close to the city. Maybe this guy was in a similar position.

If he intended to lead you to believe he went to the better university I don’t think he’d have told you where the campus was