Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stubborn MIL

103 replies

DS6DS3 · 10/04/2024 15:52

My mom in law normally has my son every Friday night for a sleepover, and my youngest DS on a weekday for a few hours.
A few weeks ago she had my youngest, and saw my eldest after school and said I'll see you Friday for our sleepover, bring your favourite toys we'll play before bedtime.
Friday comes along, MIL texts and says she can no longer have son as she has a party to go to...
I replied funny how all of the sudden last minute you have a party, and she said she only got invited the night before.
I replied with you only see my children when it's convenient for you, and she has a rant saying she is helping me out.
I don't see it like this, I see it as her seeing her grandsons.
AIBU that I haven't replied, baring in mind she hasn't even messaged me asking how they both are, when she hasn't seen them in 2 weeks.

OP posts:
Daffodilsarentfluffy · 10/04/2024 15:54

Mil is allowed to prioritise herself over your dc..

piglet81 · 10/04/2024 15:54

You were rude, and I don’t suppose she’ll want to do any more free childcare for you!

MatildaTheCat · 10/04/2024 15:55

Unbelievable

nutbrownhare15 · 10/04/2024 15:55

It's ok for her to see them when it's convenient for her. She sees them a lot more than my kids grandparents. I think you should be grateful rather than annoyed tbh.

Hankunamatata · 10/04/2024 15:57

I can't believe you spoke to mil like that. Is this a weird reverse. No-one can be that obtuse

ZekeZeke · 10/04/2024 15:58

You are an entitled madam, if I was MIL I wouldn't bother with any more overnights.

Peacelily001 · 10/04/2024 15:58

Blimey. You sound like a delight OP.

Perhaps try being grateful that your kids have grandparents that see them so much (and presumably give you a break)

WineIsMyMainVice · 10/04/2024 15:59

You are very lucky to have regular childcare that is free!! She has every right to accept an invitation to go out. I can’t see how she is being stubborn?

Original poster
DS6DS3 · 10/04/2024 15:59

I am grateful, and it's not free childcare. The point is she told my son that she would see him Friday and said about the fun they're going to have together, which he remembers. Then gets disappointed because of an empty promise.
If it was free childcare it would be for me to work, ect. She sees them once a week, when my own mum sees them almost everyday. I thought grandparents wanted to see their grandchildren? Or is not a thing anymore.

OP posts:
AllAboardTootToot · 10/04/2024 15:59

Wow! Just wow at your entitlement!

Veenah · 10/04/2024 15:59

This has to be a reverse. Every week she takes one child for a night and one for a few hours during the day, and you don't see this as her helping you out?

KreedKafer · 10/04/2024 16:00

Please tell me this is a reverse, because if it's not, you are possibly the most obnoxiously entitled daughter-in-law ever to set foot on this earth.

DisforDarkChocolate · 10/04/2024 16:00

Feck you're hard work. She has your son every Friday and I begrudge her a night off. I'd be a lot less available if I was her.

labamba007 · 10/04/2024 16:00

She sees them regularly every week and has one to sleep over? You're extremely lucky and I'd be thankful to your MIL, so what if she had a party one Friday night. You sound incredibly entitled!

aesopsgables · 10/04/2024 16:00

Letting you know very last min isn't great, but she has him every week! Way to shoot yourself in the foot on the weekly free childcare.

KreedKafer · 10/04/2024 16:01

DS6DS3 · 10/04/2024 15:59

I am grateful, and it's not free childcare. The point is she told my son that she would see him Friday and said about the fun they're going to have together, which he remembers. Then gets disappointed because of an empty promise.
If it was free childcare it would be for me to work, ect. She sees them once a week, when my own mum sees them almost everyday. I thought grandparents wanted to see their grandchildren? Or is not a thing anymore.

What on earth is wrong with you?

Original poster
DS6DS3 · 10/04/2024 16:01

Right ok,
Looking at the responses , I thought seeing your grandparents was a normal thing?
I always used to see my grandparents a lot when I was younger.
I guess my son's will see her when they're old enough to walk over on their own then 😂😂😂

OP posts:
aesopsgables · 10/04/2024 16:02

DS6DS3 · 10/04/2024 15:59

I am grateful, and it's not free childcare. The point is she told my son that she would see him Friday and said about the fun they're going to have together, which he remembers. Then gets disappointed because of an empty promise.
If it was free childcare it would be for me to work, ect. She sees them once a week, when my own mum sees them almost everyday. I thought grandparents wanted to see their grandchildren? Or is not a thing anymore.

Do you pay her for the Friday nights? That's the only way it's not free childcare.

emhus82 · 10/04/2024 16:02

I pray to GOD my son doesn't marry someone like you. Jesus Christ THE AUDACITY IS WILD!!!!!

Original poster
DS6DS3 · 10/04/2024 16:02

It's not free childcare though?
It's bonding between a grandparent and grandson?

OP posts:
Fergie51 · 10/04/2024 16:03

Words fail me on this post! 🙈

AmyandPhilipfan · 10/04/2024 16:03

Once a week is loads. And of course she has them when it's convenient for her. They're not her children. She should be able to see them when she wants and enjoy them. If she has one every Friday night is she supposed to never make any other plans on a Friday? Your son will get over it. Tell him he's very lucky he gets to go there every week but Grandma has been invited to a party and it wouldn't be very nice for her to feel she's not allowed to go and see her friends.

aesopsgables · 10/04/2024 16:03

DS6DS3 · 10/04/2024 16:02

It's not free childcare though?
It's bonding between a grandparent and grandson?

😂😂😂😂 this has to be a reverse

ThreeEggOmlette · 10/04/2024 16:04

You are not unreasonable to explain that your son was sad because he thought he was going to his grandmothers & she cancelled last minute for a better offer.

But that's not what you complained about and the response you've related in your OP sounds really rude & stroppy.

Don't bite the hand that looks after your kids.

Original poster
DS6DS3 · 10/04/2024 16:05

That's it, I'm annoyed that it was a last minute cancellation.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread