Stubborn MIL

[DS6DS3]

My mom in law normally has my son every Friday night for a sleepover, and my youngest DS on a weekday for a few hours.
A few weeks ago she had my youngest, and saw my eldest after school and said I'll see you Friday for our sleepover, bring your favourite toys we'll play before bedtime.
Friday comes along, MIL texts and says she can no longer have son as she has a party to go to...
I replied funny how all of the sudden last minute you have a party, and she said she only got invited the night before.
I replied with you only see my children when it's convenient for you, and she has a rant saying she is helping me out.
I don't see it like this, I see it as her seeing her grandsons.
AIBU that I haven't replied, baring in mind she hasn't even messaged me asking how they both are, when she hasn't seen them in 2 weeks.

Have you apologised yet?

@DS6DS3 I'm sorry. What your MIL is doing is lovely. She's got time every week with her grandchildren and whether you are out working or not, it is helping you to do things in this way. She's not just seeing them, she is providing childcare. Seeing them would be pop over for an hour weekly at yours for maybe a walk to the park all together or a play in the garden. She's putting herself out massively.

If my MIL or mother offered this I would tell them that if they ever needed to cancel for illness or social event, they must. I would never want this commitment - however lovely - to get in the way of their enjoying their own life too. You should have wished your MIL a lovely time at the party.

As for your son, life will have small disappointments like this. He will play with Granny with the toy next week. You can teach him to wish Granny a nice time at the party.

Have you posted before about this or a similar grandparent issue? You sound very similar to a recent post.

Please don't freeze out what sounds like a lovely grandparent b/c of your own issues. That's not fair to use children as rewards/consequences. She's clearly a doting Granny. Be kind.

If I want to go out on a Friday night with my DH I have to pay a babysitter. It’s a very rare treat!! So how do you think that this is not free childcare??!