DD angry at mature student for inappropriate email

[KeepCalmPlease]

NC just in case.
Daughter is angry this eve as a mature student on her course has mistakenly replied all to the class, instead of just her lecturer. In the email, apparently they brag about finishing their assigned work early, and then flirt about a shared hobby with lecturer. Daughter wants to bring this up formally with the institution along with other friends of hers. I haven't seen the email so I'm not sure what "flirting" is but I suspect the mature student, being older, just shares a hobby with lecturer (and likes being teachers pet).
My advice to her is just ignore the mistake, keep your head down and make sure your own work is done. AIBU?

I'm not sure why DD is so exasperated by this. I'm sure many emails fly about all day in academia.

I’m already feeling sorry for your DD’s future work colleagues.

THIS!!!

relationships between lecturers and students arent illegal, she needs a hobby

Same, pp likening to a witchfinder general is apt, especially with regards to the magnanimous daughter will 'sleep on it' then grandly decide 'not to take it further' as if its up to her! 😆
It really is scary how some of gen-z really do think they have a scary level of power as to the admonishment and punishment* *that other's should be dolled out because of their (batshit) opinions!

And so what? What on earth has that got to do with your daughter? There is no suggestion anywhere that the student is getting any benefit so who cares?

So what does it actually say?
'Hey hot stuff... look at me, I'm the cleverest and bestest student you'll ever see... I've done so well on my essay. . Better than anyone else can ever be...just look at me, I outshine everyone else, and you love me'
(Sing to Gerri Halliwell Look at me if people want as its just been on Spotify!)

I’m doing a uni course as a mature student. Reply all email is cringey but I do have a different, more friendly, relationship with the lecturer than I did when I was at uni early 20s (I’m doing a post grad course at 42). We both have children and life experiences in common. There’s a few mature students on my course so we all have that friendlier relationship.

All work is submitted with our candidate number and names aren’t allowed so there’s no marking bias.

your dd isn’t at school. Uni is different and her outrage misplaced.

Your DD is being utterly ridiculous and is on the path to making a complete fool of herself.

I'm currently a mature student and get on very well with one of my teachers. So much so that we now have a close friendship outside of school. Everyone knows, nobody is immature enough to care.

I would also warn your dd to be careful what she puts in a group WhatsApp. She may think it’s private but every year someone in a group screenshots students WhatsApp messages from a cohort chat and sends it to me. Obviously not a problem if she’s not been inappropriate but if she’s been bitching, etc it could be.

You mean by discussing an embarrassing email with her mother ? Sounds like you are a mature student with an immature relationship. Give your head a wobble.

Now dd give your mum her phone back.... how on earth is @MrTiddlesTheCat in an 'immature relationship' if that's your context for relationships not meeting your approval everything else said so far needs to be seen totally differently!

Ha ha!

Your DD could reply to all saying "Please note that we can all read your replies if you reply to all. Good work on getting all the work in with time to spare!"

I think you and your DD need to give your heads a wobble! Complete mountain out of molehill, by your daughter in relation to the email and by you in your responses on this thread!

Seriously? Bloody hell, OP.

Also, why is the email embarrassing? The only thing of note is the 'send to all', and that was a mistake. Everything else is shit-stirring from your daughter and her mates.

And by the way, as an undergrad in late teens and early 20s, and then as a masters student, I had really good relationships with my professors, and even would go for a drink every now and then with them. Not an immature relationship at all and that you think so explains the overreaction by your daughter.

Oh dear. I have to admit I cringed more for your DD and her mates more than the student who sent the email. I’d tell mine to grow up - albeit more politely and diplomatically - and to gain some perspective. The woman prob feels enough of a tit as it is.

It does not affect her in any way! Why would she report it - what has this person done wrong??

Sounds like she's still at school

Teach your daughter, some empathy - that mature student will be excruciatingly embarrassed. Perhaps she could think how best she could help.

Who will she report the email to?
what does she want to happen?
Why does she think it’s up to her to pass judgement?

I work with post grad students and quite a few of them establish friendships with academics. They go out for drinks together, they know each other's families. It's not unusual at all.

No. By thinking it's any of her business at all, by wanting to bring it up "formally" and then saying she's going to "sleep on it" 😂

This is a similar experience to me. I had more in common with my tutors than many of my fellow students.

Probably a character defect but I loved watching shit hit the fan as a uni student.

I always got the popcorn out when my coursemates got into a public tizzy and went running to Mummy and the "authorities" over stupid things – it was a privileged uni, so a fair few coddled/entitled kids with little self awareness, though equally lots of independent and clever kids, all with the popcorn out too! – and embarrassed themselves in the process lol

I'm a relatively new lecturer but the age of more experienced lecturers as I got my PhD in my late 30s. I recently moved from teaching in a department which was almost exclusively female students to a department which is much more balanced. I was initially surprised at but now accustomed to the fact that a lot of the male students are a bit flirty. I am not conventionally attractive and it's clearly based in either a desire to get their grades up or some kind of power dynamic thing. It hasn't crossed a line yet but we have to report anything that makes us uncomfortable and there are processes to follow, precisely so that a thoughtless action by a student doesn't end up endangering our job. I highly doubt the lecturer in question is anything other than mortified by the email and your daughter is making jumps of conjecture by assuming it will lead to favouritism in marks.

As others have said, anonymous marking and moderation is the norm in most institutions now. I'm working through 100 essays this week and I have literally no idea who wrote what.

It's none of her business! Can't believe she's even bothered, how bizarre!