DD angry at mature student for inappropriate email

[KeepCalmPlease]

NC just in case.
Daughter is angry this eve as a mature student on her course has mistakenly replied all to the class, instead of just her lecturer. In the email, apparently they brag about finishing their assigned work early, and then flirt about a shared hobby with lecturer. Daughter wants to bring this up formally with the institution along with other friends of hers. I haven't seen the email so I'm not sure what "flirting" is but I suspect the mature student, being older, just shares a hobby with lecturer (and likes being teachers pet).
My advice to her is just ignore the mistake, keep your head down and make sure your own work is done. AIBU?

I'm not sure why DD is so exasperated by this. I'm sure many emails fly about all day in academia.

Flirtatiousness is definitely subjective. It’d take a lot for me to think someone was flirting with me or someone else because I think I’d be described as quite playful. Maybe people mistake me for being flirtatious! 😆

"I have been a student at Uni and a mature student on the Open University. Personally I don't agree with mature students taking Uni places from 18 year olds. There are plenty of other ways to study when you are older."

This paragraph only confirms your ageism. @NarwhalsJustDontLetEmTouchYourBalls

As does your point about the Open Day.

Presumably the 50 year olds were parents being "assertive" on behalf of their children.

Odd that all your examples of unacceptable "getting ahead" involve older people.

Personally I don't agree with mature students taking Uni places from 18 year olds. There are plenty of other ways to study when you are older.

What a ridiculous comment!
Firstly, there are more than enough places to go around.
Secondly, university isn't just for 18 year olds. It never has been and nor should it be!

Did you DD also partake in playground tittle tattle and "I'm telling on you"

What a nightmare for the lecturer. If she were to make a complaint it would be the lecturer held to account and blamed for encouraging it not the student for their actions.

Hello, can the original poster contact me please?

Completely agree

I'd be pretty pissed off to be put in that situation by a student. I don't think people realise how quick management are to stick the knife in to staff at our Universities.

Thank god your DD has deemed it satisfactory. The mature student and professor were quaking at the thought of the 18 year old's mere dissatisfaction. She would have wreaked the power of Mummy upon them 😂

This 💯

You think only older people who can afford to pay privately should have access to Higher Education? Despite a record fall in University applications and a skill shortage in our economy.

What on earth did you study?

I hope you haven't emailed that picture to anyone - it could cause offence, doncha know! 😂

Because "the boss" is now prepared to let things drop, I celebrated modestly....with a coffee and a rich tea biscuit (but I secretly covet your chocolate twist).

yEven if you went to uni now, oyu would not be a 'mature' student 😂

I do hope you’ve addressed with your daughter her gross attitude.

NarwhalsJustDontLetEmTouchYourBalls · Today 12:54

Personally I don't agree with mature students taking Uni places from 18 year olds. There are plenty of other ways to study when you are older.

You what? Exactly when did university become solely the province of 18 year olds - don't be ridiculous. It has never been, nor should it be. And if some of the 18 year olds behave in such an immature fashion as the example on here, then it's a good job. Perhaps schools should spend a bit more time explaining to the little darlings that (a) University isn't the school playground and (b) that they should try developing some maturity before they get there.

There’s a couple of likely reasons for this, the most important one being that mature students generally really, really want to be there. They’ve worked their socks off to get in and they work their socks off while they’re there, they’re taking a hit financially, not just in terms of fees and living costs, but also because of the lost income they’d have had if they’d be working, and they understand the system better.

At 18 I knew nothing about working abroad, joining clubs and societies, networking, getting extra credentials, sourcing a good placement, etc. I was too busy having a good time going out and going to class. I thought uni was 12 hours a week because that was the contact time - when that’s just a small part of the work. If I went back now it would be because I was desperate to do it and for the career at the end. I’d be all over placements, at guest lectures, networking events, etc. because I get that it’s important. I work in a business school in a RG university. Everyone has the opportunity to take part in lots of events, but it’s mostly the mature UG and PG students who attend, and that’s simply because they’re thrilled to be there, they want to get the most of it and soak up every minute, and they want to get their money’s worth - and good luck to them, I say. That’s not a ‘leg up’, that’s recognition that they have put the work in and demonstrated their ability and potential.

whilst the younger ones, who are often more competent, don't have the personal skills yet to pull a sly one.

'Often more competent'? In what way and on what evidence?

Your post is full of random generalisations with no proof to back up any of it. I might just as well say that younger ones come to university from school extremely competent at blaming others for their own failings and for putting forward reasons why they should have special consideration for missing deadlines, etc.

Not deliberately though. Which is a pretty crucial difference.

In what way way? I’m struggling to understand how it’s flirty? And even if it is does it matter, work is marked anonymously and ratified at the end from the independent exam board. So it’ll make no difference. Does DD have her own small crush going on? Remind her to not team up against said mature student with the rest of the cohort. Bullying accusations will stick faster than the flirt ones.

I think I'd be asking my DD why she was so upset about it, and what she hoped to achieve by the complaint. You never know, there could be some backstory of inappropriate conduct or favouritism behind it. I'd also be pointing out to her the appropriate response to receiving an email sent in error and clearly not meant for you, as she will need to learn this before moving into any professional circles.

None of her business, if you teach her to keep her nose out of people's business (unless this is a serious threat to health/life) she would do well in life.

Honestly OP your DD is ‘satisfied’!

Well it’s not really her business whether the email was sent to everybody or not. Exactly what does she gain from reporting it? Have either of them actually done anything wrong? Does the teacher treat her differently? Honestly I’d be having a serious word if this was my daughter and to tell her to grow up.

This is quite a scary message to the OP.

Thank God for that 😒! I hate to think what can happen when dd is not satisfied.