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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Please tell me the truth about car seats…

190 replies

PrincessFionaCharming · 09/04/2024 00:31

…for kids aged 8+

I have a nearly-10 year old. She’s fairly average height in her class. She still uses a high backed booster for long car journeys on the motorway etc, and she has a booster cushion thing in our second car which we literally use for the 5 minute school run when it’s raining and that’s it.

My understanding is that this is the law. But Literally NONE of her friends appear to use a car seat these days. Booster cushion or otherwise. They just leap into the front seat when they are picked up and off they go.

I have always been super strict about car seats. My daughter has never really complained about her car seat, she just gets on with it and that’s the way it is. She has recently asked a few times however why she’s not allowed to sit in the front (or back) with no seat when her friends are. I just say that’s up to their parents but I don’t think
it’s the safest option.

But honestly, what is the truth here? Are most 9-10 year olds still using car seats?? Is that the reality? I genuinely assumed they were, If it’s the law, but now I’m not sure!

OP posts:
BeardieWeirdie · 09/04/2024 00:39

If she’s over 135cm, she isn’t required to use one.

DianaTaverner · 09/04/2024 00:39

My DCs used high back booster until they were about 12 I think (both on the short side). It was no less comfortable for them, it gave them a slightly better view, and it's slightly safer, so they never questioned it at all. Mind you, as London children they never saw their schoolmates in cars: we only ever used them for trips away to see families.

Itsokish · 09/04/2024 00:40

My children were definitely not in car seats over the age of 5 . Booster seats were the alternative after that age..

NavyPeer · 09/04/2024 00:40

How tall is she?

the law is 135cm or 12th birthday- whatever comes first

135cm is around 4 foot 5, which is fairly average for a ten year old

Original poster
PrincessFionaCharming · 09/04/2024 00:40

Yes. I know this. But the reality around here appears to be that no one gives a shit so I was wondering if this is a more widespread thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
PrincessFionaCharming · 09/04/2024 00:41

She’s about 128cm I think? Her friends all seem of a similar height but in fairness I haven’t measured them…

OP posts:
Feeltoooldtostudybutdoingitanyway · 09/04/2024 00:43

Mine both stayed in high backed boosters until the last year of primary, eldest was earlier in the year, youngest later because he grew later.

Original poster
PrincessFionaCharming · 09/04/2024 00:44

I feel really weird about the prospect of her not requiring a car seat any more 😂

OP posts:
NavyPeer · 09/04/2024 00:45

PrincessFionaCharming · 09/04/2024 00:41

She’s about 128cm I think? Her friends all seem of a similar height but in fairness I haven’t measured them…

You’d need to get a tape measure out then to determine whether parents ‘give a shit’ or not

WHO places 138cm as 50th centile for 10 year old girls

many of her classmates would have surpassed 135cm

its not just age

T4qn · 09/04/2024 00:58

It goes on height not age. You need to measure her.

Irememberitalltoowell14 · 09/04/2024 01:01

I’m in a similar position with DD9 questioning why she still has to use a car seat or booster when all her friends (including some who are shorter than her) are telling her they don’t. I’ve also heard it directly from their parents too so know the kids aren’t making it up. Their parents say they are tall enough but I’ve seen them stood next to DD and they are definitely shorter than her.

She is still below the legal limit of 135cm so I’ve told her regardless of what friends are doing she has to keep using hers until she is tall enough to ride without one by law. I’m baffled by it all to be honest!

purpleme12 · 09/04/2024 01:03

I think a lot of people probably do stop using them sooner than they should.

KlongDuplo · 09/04/2024 01:04

Who cares what other people do? You continue using car seats until you are satisfied that's she's safe without one. A checklist like this one will help you and your child decide when to lose the booster. And it might be that in some seats, no booster is needed, big in others it is. https://thecarseatlady.com/the-5-step-test-your-way-to-know-if-a-child-can-ride-safely-without-a-booster/

The height /age recommendations are so arbitrary when you look into them. There are SO many factors that affect how well a seat belt protects an individual - the shape of seat, the position (and adjustability) of the shoulder guide, the relative length of your torso to your height, your weight, distance from airbag, height relative to airbag, etc, etc.

Let's face it, cars and car safely features are designed for the 'average' male. And change is slow. Quite frankly, as a 5'2 woman, I would be safer if I used a booster seat in a lot of cars. And more comfortable too. I have a short torso and seat belts generally do not sit comfortably on me. I love that most cars now have height adjustable seats in the front so I can actually sit comfortably.

My kids (and their friends) have become used to me checking their fit in different seats in the car. And if I say they needed a booster, they either use it or find another lift! There are complaints at times - "she's only 10, why does she get to sit without a booster?" And I just tell them the criteria I'm using to decide "Well, her torso is quite long and I've put her in the middle of the row where the base of the seat is a bit higher - the seat belt fits across her shoulders and hips." There are no complaints once they can see the logic for it.

BigMandyHarris · 09/04/2024 01:07

PrincessFionaCharming · 09/04/2024 00:44

I feel really weird about the prospect of her not requiring a car seat any more 😂

Why?

Needanewname42 · 09/04/2024 01:13

purpleme12 · 09/04/2024 01:03

I think a lot of people probably do stop using them sooner than they should.

I think your right. I think people want to pass them down to siblings before the oldest has properly out grown them.
And there's peer pressure from kids whos in / out car seats.

I think it's nuts but there again we have car seat laws but has anyone ever heard of police doing spot checks on carseats, or heard of anyone getting a fine for wrong seats?

calligraphee · 09/04/2024 01:20

purpleme12 · 09/04/2024 01:03

I think a lot of people probably do stop using them sooner than they should.

I agree.

I think you should use it as long as you can, because it is safer.

imforeverblowingbuttons · 09/04/2024 02:53

We were very big on car seats and rear faced until 4. Ds had a car seat until he was 6. Then a high backed booster. He's 9 and 138 cm (I would say he is average height in his class.) we stoped using a booster a few months ago when his head was too high for it.

128 cm seems the smaller side for 10? Obviously you should keep using a booster but I would assume the other kids are taller. Or parents are very lax.

PeopleAreWeird · 09/04/2024 02:59

If and when she goes into the front, I would be worried about the air bag,
I would personally not allow her to sit in the front
or if the car seat moves right back so not in direct contact with the airbag then i may

Garman · 09/04/2024 03:37

They’re supposed to be able to fulfil five different steps to not require a booster, the 5 step test. The laws are not enough in terms of safety, they’re pretty basic and yet people still even ditch them, those low booster seats are useless as in a crash they can slip from under them. Our son is a tall 9 year old and is one of the only kids his age still in a high back booster, he’s nowhere near ready yet kids smaller and younger than him are allowed to just hop in a normal seat.

moleeye · 09/04/2024 03:57

My 9 year old (Year 4) is 148cm

We stopped using her car seat when she reached 140cm about a year ago.

PuttingDownRoots · 09/04/2024 05:55

Although parents won't admit it...
The level of car seat is almost seen as a maturity competition. Hence why you get 6mos in FF seats, and toddlers in HBB... and 7/8yos with no seats.
There is now the "longest rear facing" competition too (but at least that competition is safer!)

However... my 10yo has been more than 135cm for a couple of years. Her shoulders haven't fitted in it since then. The seat belt goes across her chest in both our cars (both DDs used the booster cushion for longer in our bigger car, as the seats were both deeper and taller). Last summer she was just below the limit for France and Germany (about 142cm)... so she used the booster cushion there.

Shes not excessively tall. I know other children the same age talker than me, and I'm 170cm!

twitternotx · 09/04/2024 05:56

My kids both used until 135cm which was about 9-10. Ignore their friends parents, who are putting them in danger. The average boy (50th centile) will reach 135cm at age 9.5 and the average girl at 10 so about half of kids should still be in a car seat at that age.

Didimum · 09/04/2024 05:57

you know the law, OP. Other people are welcome to endanger their children as much as they like (unfortunately)

SpringOfContentment · 09/04/2024 06:42

Mine both needed to be pretty close to 150cm before the adult belts fitted (See 5 step test).

About 145cm, they didn't fit the HBB, so had a booster cushion for the last 6 months or so. Think both were close to 11 before we ditched all carseats - tho we has boosters for longer in my car than DHs car due to seat shape.