Please tell me the truth about car seats…

[PrincessFionaCharming]

…for kids aged 8+

I have a nearly-10 year old. She’s fairly average height in her class. She still uses a high backed booster for long car journeys on the motorway etc, and she has a booster cushion thing in our second car which we literally use for the 5 minute school run when it’s raining and that’s it.

My understanding is that this is the law. But Literally NONE of her friends appear to use a car seat these days. Booster cushion or otherwise. They just leap into the front seat when they are picked up and off they go.

I have always been super strict about car seats. My daughter has never really complained about her car seat, she just gets on with it and that’s the way it is. She has recently asked a few times however why she’s not allowed to sit in the front (or back) with no seat when her friends are. I just say that’s up to their parents but I don’t think
it’s the safest option.

But honestly, what is the truth here? Are most 9-10 year olds still using car seats?? Is that the reality? I genuinely assumed they were, If it’s the law, but now I’m not sure!

This is definitely an “ I don’t mind what so and sis mum does we do what’s safest for you “

I haven't made it to the end of the thread yet to see if anyone else has said this, but just in case they haven't... the backless boosters can come with isofix straps so they don't slide out from under the child if you're in any kind of collision. DS1 is nearly 12 and 142cm tall, but in our Atlas, the seatbelt is still too high for his neck and he's using the above.

A lot depends on the car and seatbelt position.

For those mounted to the back of the seat in a small car like a polo, my 19 year old would be touching the roof. So definitely wouldn't attempt a car seat or booster.

But we have a car where it comes from quite high up and even though he is tall enough not to need on paper, in the back he needs the booster.

In the front it makes him taller than an adult so it isn't used as it fits better without.

There isn't a one size fits all.

10 year old. Though if he carries on growing at his current rate his head will be out of the roof of all cars by the time he's 19!

Most the 9 year olds I know are 135cm already

I was always on the extra careful side with car seats. We had and isofix high backed booster which went to 12 years/ 150cm which is the European standard. I always made my two use the car seat, I felt also that many parents seemed to abadone them at to young/to small.

I remeber once giving DD friend a lift and her mum saying she didn't need one, but she was shorter then DD who at the time still wasn't 135cm. The cruel person that I am made her use our spare booster seat. The child wasn't to impressed, but she was in my car and as the drive I was responsible for her safety.

We had a britax 2 way elite which would rear face till 25kg. I did trun DS round slightly earlier then this as he was a bit fed up at the time, we still used the 5 point harness until he was about 8 (hes always been quite light for his age). Then he went into a high backed booster.

I am probably one of the only parents in my 11 and 8 year olds classes using car seats. My 11 year old is 143cm but only 29kg. Very slight. He is in an isofix booster seat as he doesn't meet the 5 steps yet. He came out if the high back 6 months ago once his shoulders were higher than the strap guide at its max extension.
My 8 year old is 131cm and also 29kg. He is in a high backed booster and like his brother I will keep him in one for as long as I can, then isofix booster if he doesn't fit in it properly.
I see much younger kids not in car seats. After 6 it seems most parents here ditch the seats.
My theory is because often people have 3 kids they need to fit in the back and can't afford a car that fits 3 seats across the back. It makes me cross that manufacturers don't accommodate 3 seats across the back when they are designed for 3 people to sit in the back. Make the car wide enough to fit 3 seats safely. That and what others have said. It seems to be a bragging thing that their kid is in the next stage seat, or not needing one etc.

There maybe no law against sitting in the front seat but many cars now have multiple airbags and often say it is unsafe for young children (even if out of carseats) to sit in the front as airbags can cause serious injury to children. You can't always turn them off anymore either.

I've always been very strict about car seats, all of my children were in rear facing seats until around age 5/6 and then went into a high back booster. I switched my older two to backless booster seats when they were around 10/11. I think my eldest stopped using the booster at around 12 as he was quite tall by then , my middle child still uses a booster and will do for some time as she isn't that tall yet and my youngest is still in a high back booster. I have always ignored what other parents chose to do with car seats and did what I felt was safest. I had so many friends and family members telling me I was cruel keeping them rear facing past 9 months, then why were they in high back boosters/using boosters etc as their kids weren't. You just have to do what you feel is safest op

Mine are now 23 and 20 so isofix and ERF weren't really relevant to me although I would have used ERF if it had been an option.
I remember the car seat laws requiring children to use car seats until 135cm tall or 12 years old coming in and so many school parents (including an A&E nurse) complaining that their 4 and 5 year olds were going to need car seats. People putting convenience before their children's safety in cars is not a new thing.
My dad was a safety freak (I had a car seat and then a bolted in harness in the 70s) and it has rubbed off on me. My DDs were in HBBs until they were too tall for them - both at high school, one at 12 (as an adult she is average height) and the other at nearly 14 (now at 20 she is only just 5 feet tall). I remember a friend questioning why I still had my tiny 13 month old in the baby carrier; she still fitted it and her big sister still fitted the next stage seat so I wasn't about to either buy a second next stage seat when I would only need both DDs in the same stage seat for a few months or move both DDs up a stage before I needed to.

DD is nearly 11. 134.5cm, short torso, long legs. She's still in a HBB. If I'm honest she has complained, and I've bluntly told her that her seat protects her, and I'm sure she'd rather be in a seat than in hospital or worse .

Just so you know, it isn’t safe to wear a thick coat in the car irrespective of age (so including adults) as it affects the seatbelt. If you search for crash test videos, you see that they slide out under the belt because of the way the coat compresses.

My 10 year old is currently the same height as me (dad’s height). She was definitely the legal height at the beginning of year 5 when she was barely 9 but I kept her in the hbb at the back seat for that year but when she got to year 6, she now has to sit without a car seat now as it’s now uncomfortable

Airbags are designed to work in conjunction with seatbelts - they are timed to go off at the precise moment the seat belt has pulled you back into your seat. A poorly fitting seatbelt can reduce the effectiveness of airbags. The additional risk of poorly fitted seatbelts is soft tissue damage and/or the possibility of internal decapitation. Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security because of a fancy SUV (which is much more dangerous for children outside the car, of course, but that’s a different thread).

Is this true? I'd genuinely like to know more (my children are nowhere near that stage yet). Does it not help to at least make sure the seatbelt is in the right place? It's shocking really that only in the early 90s were we all travelling to nursery on just a booster. I remember a friend with siblings a few years younger had HBBs by the late 90s and I'd never seen them before.

We are going through this same situation. Lots of parents seeing the uk law as a goal to reach rather than a bare legal minimum, others not even bothering to with the legal minimum. My eldest (9 and over 135cm) gets cross as she feels the odd one out, she regularly sees her friends and even their younger siblings jumping into the car or front seat with no seatbelt. I am not interested in what others do or minimal legal limits, my only focus is keeping my children (and any others we drive) as safe as possible.

a couple of years ago we were stationary at traffic lights. The lights changed but the car in front was slow to move off so my DH waited to pull away. The car behind was somehow watching the lights rather than the cars so went to pull away but instead crashed straight into the back of us. A really slow speed accident but both me and my DH plus our forward facing eldest were jolted forward and had pain in our nexks afterwards. The noise the crash made was shocking. Our RF toddler slept peacefully through the whole thing.

i totally understand the apprehension of removing the HBB. Even people on this thread are saying 'why?' But it's because you are taking away another layer of safety from your child. Every passenger in a car (inc adults) would be safest rear facing, HBB which go up to 150cm say that they reduce the risk of side impact head injuries by 20%. Many people seem to focus more on convenience and the 'maturity contest' others have mentioned than ultimately the safety of their child. I will be keeping the car seats and HBBs as long as I possibly can. My youngest is still rear facing at 6.5 and still comfy, my eldest I am hoping can stay in a HBB till at least 150cm. I tend to decline invites unless I can drive them myself, and very rarely offer lifts to others (we will all instead) as I know most friends won't have or be expected to use a car seat and I am not comfortable with that.

Booster cushions help postion the seat belts so they are on kids hip bones rather than soft tissue. Same with the diagonal belts put it on the shoulder rather than neck.
Look for crash test videos.
If seat belts are uncomfortable kids are likely to either put the diagonal bit behind them or under the arm. Both of which are very dangerous.

A booster won't provide side impact protection (obviously) but they can be a good stepping stone for older kids moving out of HBB.

I genuinely didn't know that, I thought it was just the chest strap types. I will stop saying no to dc when they remove layers when they get in the car!

Way too many people are way too relaxed about car seat safety.....moving children forward facing or into boosters without an inbuilt harness too young being prime examples. Don't get sucked into the peer pressure OP

I can’t even fit in between our kids seats in the back of our moderately large car. I’m a size 12.

To answer the original question, we don’t use forward facing harnesses for safety reasons. We went straight from rear facing to belted in a hbb at around 5. We will use a hbb until she finishes primary school, which will be just before she turns 12.

Many people in her class already don’t use hbb’s - some have backless boosters, many have nothing at all.

People are generally pretty ignorant about car seat safety. There are kids at my sons nursery who get dropped off in a work van with no car seat. There is only one other parent who I see rear facing their kid at nursery. And even the nursery staff insist on putting his jacket on as we leave (despite the fact that the car is parked right next to the door and he is outside for seconds) - most young kids I see wear jackets in car seats!

Harnessed seats can be more dangerous than a high backed booster. We never used a forward facing harness for safety reasons.

How in anyone's imagine can a 5 point harness be less safe than a 3 point seat belt?

Stop and think that though.
If a 3 point seat belt was safer or less dangerous or safer than a 5 (or 6) point harness. Why would racing drivers opt for a 5/6 point harness? (6 points have two straps between the legs rather than one, I'm guessing to avoid squishing the family jewels)

Because there are more points of failure between the 5 point harness and the car structure than there are between the integrated 3 point harness and the car structure. So you are more likely for the 5 point belt to fail in a high speed collision (seat from isofix or belt itself) than a 3 point.

@remembe

I disagree. My 11 year old is safer in a booster than without because the seatbelt is then 'sitting' correctly on her body. There is no additional protection in a crash as you say but she can no longer fit into a HBB but doesn't satisfy the 5 point check for a seatbelt.