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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Please tell me the truth about car seats…

190 replies

PrincessFionaCharming · 09/04/2024 00:31

…for kids aged 8+

I have a nearly-10 year old. She’s fairly average height in her class. She still uses a high backed booster for long car journeys on the motorway etc, and she has a booster cushion thing in our second car which we literally use for the 5 minute school run when it’s raining and that’s it.

My understanding is that this is the law. But Literally NONE of her friends appear to use a car seat these days. Booster cushion or otherwise. They just leap into the front seat when they are picked up and off they go.

I have always been super strict about car seats. My daughter has never really complained about her car seat, she just gets on with it and that’s the way it is. She has recently asked a few times however why she’s not allowed to sit in the front (or back) with no seat when her friends are. I just say that’s up to their parents but I don’t think
it’s the safest option.

But honestly, what is the truth here? Are most 9-10 year olds still using car seats?? Is that the reality? I genuinely assumed they were, If it’s the law, but now I’m not sure!

OP posts:
remembe · 13/04/2024 07:47

Notmyuser · 12/04/2024 22:49

Yes it is, if it uses a seatbelt. But many seats harness beyond 18kg.

Out of curiosity, what seat are you using and how old is your child? If you are looking for advice it sounds like there are lots of knowledgeable people here who can help.

It doesn’t have to be expensive either. Both my kids still fitted in infant carriers at 18 months. Joie seats are pretty cheap and really safe. A lot of the more expensive seats are actually less safe, although the safest seats can be expensive too.

My daughter went straight from a convertible infant/toddler seat to hbb, but she was low centiles so didn’t reach height/weight limit (18kg/105cm if I remember correctly) til 5. Her convertible seat was £200 and her hbb was £50, she still uses it now at 8 and will for many years to come.

My son is still in his convertible seat at 2 but will probably outgrow it by 4, so we are going to need to get an extended rear facing seat for him. This is an unexpected expense; we thought he would be low centiles like our eldest since he was even smaller at birth. Still, he did use my daughters old convertible seat so we have spent £250 in total to keep both kids safe for nearly 9 years, so spending another few hundred is okay in the grand scheme of things (for us)

Thank you. I think it's too late for us to be honest as we have the car seats now. The issue is we have 2 children and seats in 3 cars - mine, husband's and grandparent's. The way we drop off and pick up means we need 2 sets as an absolute minimum. It's a Joie Elevate we have, interestingly. Child is just getting to the weight where he moves from harness to seatbelt. He had outgrown the Joie 360 (height wise) which he rear-faced in til about 4. The 3 year old is in it now.

Notmyuser · 13/04/2024 10:00

remembe · 13/04/2024 07:47

Thank you. I think it's too late for us to be honest as we have the car seats now. The issue is we have 2 children and seats in 3 cars - mine, husband's and grandparent's. The way we drop off and pick up means we need 2 sets as an absolute minimum. It's a Joie Elevate we have, interestingly. Child is just getting to the weight where he moves from harness to seatbelt. He had outgrown the Joie 360 (height wise) which he rear-faced in til about 4. The 3 year old is in it now.

Id personally use that seat as a high backed booster as soon as my kid met the minimum weight and didn’t muck around with their seatbelt on a journey. You’ll need a second high backed booster - I’d try and avoid forward facing with a harness if at all possible, so max out the 360 seat and then see if your kid manages fine in a high backed booster, meeting the height, weight and maturity tests.

The joie Trillo or the Graco elevate are pretty cheap and decent if budget is an issue, but I’m sure there are others. I saw them as cheap as £40 when I had a look 🥰

remembe · 13/04/2024 18:57

Notmyuser · 13/04/2024 10:00

Id personally use that seat as a high backed booster as soon as my kid met the minimum weight and didn’t muck around with their seatbelt on a journey. You’ll need a second high backed booster - I’d try and avoid forward facing with a harness if at all possible, so max out the 360 seat and then see if your kid manages fine in a high backed booster, meeting the height, weight and maturity tests.

The joie Trillo or the Graco elevate are pretty cheap and decent if budget is an issue, but I’m sure there are others. I saw them as cheap as £40 when I had a look 🥰

Thank you. Even my 3 year old wouldn't mess about in a car seat - I have them very well trained 😂

Notmyuser · 13/04/2024 19:44

remembe · 13/04/2024 18:57

Thank you. Even my 3 year old wouldn't mess about in a car seat - I have them very well trained 😂

A 3 year old is probably not physically large enough for a high backed booster, so I’d put your eldest into the hbb mode of his current seat as soon as they meet the minimum weight/height, and buy the yoyngest a cheap hbb for as soon as they outgrow the seat they are in, providing they meet the minimum height and weight for the hbb.

remembe · 13/04/2024 22:15

Notmyuser · 13/04/2024 19:44

A 3 year old is probably not physically large enough for a high backed booster, so I’d put your eldest into the hbb mode of his current seat as soon as they meet the minimum weight/height, and buy the yoyngest a cheap hbb for as soon as they outgrow the seat they are in, providing they meet the minimum height and weight for the hbb.

Thanks. They're nowhere near growing out of their rear-facing seat and there's no third sibling to boot them out of it so we'll be good for over a year.

BertieBotts · 14/04/2024 11:30

I actually think we're seeing a bit of an awareness gap. Car seats started to be required/standard use around the late 80s/early 90s. So anyone older than this (born 70s/earlier 80s, children born during 00s) won't have had car seats as a standard thing and will have looked up the rules or sought advice when their DC were born and probably stuck to them as a totally new thing.

In addition, for this cohort you had the rule change in 2003, from car seats being required up to age 3, to the new law that made booster seats required up to age 12/135cm. There was lots of publicity about this, because it was seen as a controversial change with many people having stopped using seats and so their DC would effectively have to go back to using a booster seat. So most people with children this age were well aware of that change and used car seats up to the required age. Group 123 seats (forward facing converting from harness to booster seat, lasting 9m - 12y) became hugely marketable and popular as an alternative to the standard Group 1 forward facing, 6/9m-4y seat which had been the previous most common option, available since the 1970s.

The parents of primary aged children today (born 2010s) were likely born in the 80s/90s themselves. They probably used car seats as children or saw them being used for younger children, but throughout the 90s hardly anybody continued with booster seats after about age 4/5, despite awareness campaigns - this is why the new law was brought in. At that time this cohort was in their late teens/early 20s, probably didn't have much contact with children under 12, probably paid no attention to news reports about car seats - not relevant to me/not interesting.

So you have 80s/90s parents and 2010s children. These parents expect to use car seats for younger children and probably won't have specifically looked up the law, they will have simply gone into a shop or purchased online a car seat that says it covers children from birth/up to X age. In addition by the time these children are growing out of their big/toddler car seats, it's been about 15 years since the 2003 rule change so there's no publicity about it any more, it's taken for granted that everyone knows. Because booster seats are more widely used they are now for sale everywhere so they typically do use one, but expect to stop using it around 5/6 years, unless they have happened to look up the law. Also, 2016+ the spinning type toddler seats have become far more popular and the ones sold at this time tend not to have a booster conversion.

So these DC are currently towards the later end of primary and what you're seeing OP is not unusual. Many of these parents are totally unaware they are breaking the law. They just assume - common sense you need a car seat for young children, older children don't need one, only overprotective people continue to use it.

I think this will self correct over the next 10-15 years, because once you get late 90s/early 00s born parents having children, they will have the experience of themselves using a booster seat until late primary school, and so are likely to repeat this with their children.

And of course individuals within any generation will have their own unique approach, what I'm talking about is general average trends - e.g. if you surveyed people, on average, without being allowed to look it up I think Millennials would give a lower age for the legally required car seat use compared with Gen X (who were likely to be more aware of the law change) or Gen Z (who likely experienced the new law themselves as children).

sanityisamyth · 14/04/2024 22:09

DS(10) is 5'1" (155cms) so hasn't been in a car seat for years. I kept him in a bit longer than he was legally required to. I think he was about 140cms. Maybe 8 years old?

sanityisamyth · 14/04/2024 22:13

He's having driving lessons now too - he'd look a bit odd in the driver's seat in a high back booster!

Scottishwildcat · 15/04/2024 20:23

sanityisamyth · 14/04/2024 22:13

He's having driving lessons now too - he'd look a bit odd in the driver's seat in a high back booster!

Your 10 year old is having driving lessons?

CasperGutman · 15/04/2024 20:31

DS went through a phase of moaning about his high back booster when he was about 7/8 and several of his friends stopped using one (!). We told him using it was safer, and he'd be staying in it until he was 135cm because that was the law.

I also told him that using the booster would help him not to feel so travel sick - an issue he's prone to - by giving him a better view out of the window. This seemed like a bigger deal to him than the trivial "not dying in a car crash" benefit, and he stopped whinging eventually.

In the end we kept using the booster seat until he reached 140cm, the maximum height his seat was recommended for.

sanityisamyth · 15/04/2024 21:53

@Scottishwildcat yes he's had 2 official lessons and he's driven my car on private land three times.

Scottishwildcat · 15/04/2024 22:03

sanityisamyth · 15/04/2024 21:53

@Scottishwildcat yes he's had 2 official lessons and he's driven my car on private land three times.

why?

sanityisamyth · 16/04/2024 08:01

@Scottishwildcat why not?

Scottishwildcat · 16/04/2024 16:56

sanityisamyth · 16/04/2024 08:01

@Scottishwildcat why not?

🤣 good point.

But is it a thing where you live or something? I drove round fields plenty but professional lessons at 10 is pretty extra!

(not being snippy - just intrigued)

sanityisamyth · 16/04/2024 17:57

@Scottishwildcat yeah there's a national company that offers young driver lessons from age 10. It's very popular and often fully booked a while in advance. They use a supermarket car park in the city where I live.

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