Please tell me the truth about car seats…

[PrincessFionaCharming]

…for kids aged 8+

I have a nearly-10 year old. She’s fairly average height in her class. She still uses a high backed booster for long car journeys on the motorway etc, and she has a booster cushion thing in our second car which we literally use for the 5 minute school run when it’s raining and that’s it.

My understanding is that this is the law. But Literally NONE of her friends appear to use a car seat these days. Booster cushion or otherwise. They just leap into the front seat when they are picked up and off they go.

I have always been super strict about car seats. My daughter has never really complained about her car seat, she just gets on with it and that’s the way it is. She has recently asked a few times however why she’s not allowed to sit in the front (or back) with no seat when her friends are. I just say that’s up to their parents but I don’t think
it’s the safest option.

But honestly, what is the truth here? Are most 9-10 year olds still using car seats?? Is that the reality? I genuinely assumed they were, If it’s the law, but now I’m not sure!

I’ve got titches but eldest who is nearly 7 (116cm) is still in a 5 point as it goes to 25kg and I have no intention of them even switching to seat belt at this stage.

People don't care so much about safety unfortunately. A lot of kids won't pass the 5 step test at 135cm, so mine will use a high back booster probably until they reach 145-150cm. In the event of an accident, I'd rather they were as safe as they can be when I'm driving.

Even if a child surpasses the height/weight law they are still very little compared to an adult. I’ve thought that in a serious accident a young child of 135cm would still possibly sustain serious injuries wearing nothing but a car seatbelt which are primarily designed for adults, as due to their much smaller size and weight, and more likely to be thrown around by the impact while still restrained. Could be an unfounded thought but we are keeping DS (138cm) in his car seat still, and he’s not bothered as he can see out the window better too.

Stand outside our school and you’ll see so many children who clearly haven’t hit 135cm who are not using any car seat whatsoever. Like a op said it’s either a race to prove maturity or ignorance.

A quick google of international laws on car seats will show other countries recommend children are using them until 145-150cm, which is worth keeping in mind if you are travelling with children who no longer need them here.

My 10yo hasn’t used one for at least 2 years, she’s taller than many adult women now. My 8yo uses one most but not all of the time as she’s a few cm above the limit, we haven’t got rid but don’t move it around the car any more if she’s sitting in the front. It’s a booster though she hasn’t used/fit in a high back for years.

My son is 9 and 150cm, and no longer uses a car seat. However, we had a great HBB with side impact protection, seatbelt pad and bigger adjustable range so I could keep using it until he passed the 5 step test. So he was in it past 135cm.

My GC 7&9 use booster cushions. On short journeys with family in the city center, were speeds don't go past 30 mph, if that, they'll just use seat belts.

My year 6 child is still in one (August born) I just assumed she'd need it until 12 as she is short for her age. But I did also buy the ones that go up to 150cm. I'll keep mine in then until the reach the limit of the seat or meet the 5 point criteria rather than the bare minimum height the UK advise. I don't trust their guidance as it is outdated for forward facing guidelines.

I recently had this discussion with my 8 year old as he is over 135cm, so I explained that's the minimum but the safest is to continue to use a HBB. We have quite "tall" cars seatbelt wise so I'm not happy that he passes the 5 point test yet. For 10 min journeys yes, but not habitually.

Also in Europe it is 150cm limit so I told him he's better waiting until 150cm, else he'll find it very weird using car seats on holiday!

People don't care about car seats because they don't understand how high risk driving actually is. Because it's such a big part of our lives we get used to doing it and assume it's reasonably safe. In reality, driving is one of the most dangerous things we do.

I'll use a car seat for as long as possible for my kids. Even women are at higher risk of serious injuries in car collisions because of their generally smaller build, lower weight, different weight distribution. So a kid is even higher risk.

Most people I know are in a mad rush to get their kids out of car seats because they find them inconvenient. A friend was a bit pissed off as I wouldn't let their kid ride back in our car seated on their lap in the front seat!!

A lot of my 7 year olds classmates dont use car seats, just hop in the front 😱. It affects my likelihood of saying they can have playdates with those families in case they drive with her.
My 10 year old is still in a hbb but we have the smaller ones for just under the bum if travelling with my 7 year olds friend.

It's pretty split for 10 year olds class, but I'd say vast majority are over 140cm by now so out of the official range. It's under bum only or none. My DD looks a tad embarrassed by the hbb but doesn't complain because she knows the reason. Said we would review the 5 step after a long driving holiday that we just got back from.

@Garman this 👏🏼

I think the whole attitude towards car seats needs to change to be honest. The laws currently in place in the UK are the bare minimum required in terms of safety. This does not mean it’s the safest way for a child to travel at each particular age, it’s the minimum requirement for that age.
Just because they “can”, doesn’t mean that they should 😬

NTFT so apologies if I’m repeating. I know lots of people who don’t stick to the rules around car safety for short journeys or on holidays, but I won’t risk it. Through work I have access to various information about crashes, and the safest place you can be in a crash is correctly positioned in your seat - which is where car seats place you if you are smaller than an adult (male). All the other safety features like crumple zones and airbags are designed to work alongside correct seat positioning and seat belts - for example airbags are timed to go off just after the seatbelt has contracted you back against your seat.

Seat belts have to sit on your hip bones and shoulder - if they are in the wrong place like across your tummy or neck, when they constrict in a crash, they can crush your soft tissue and organs. There are very sad fatal cases where children haven’t been wearing belts correctly (ie not in boosters).

I admit I’m a bit paranoid about it and even worry about my own seatbelt (I’m a shortish woman) in certain cars, but I won’t let my kids travel without a booster, ever, not even short journeys. We’ve got several portable boosters for ride sharing, including the rare occasions we get taxis.

So I guess I might be the extreme other end - but to me the alternative is unthinkable. Once my child reaches 135cm, I will see if the seatbelt fits properly without a booster - otherwise they’ll continue using one.

My almost 9 year old is approaching 135cm so will no longer be required to use one. He's in a HBB at the minute and as long as he fits as is happy to use it he can stay it in even once he's tall enough to not need one. He's fairly small for his age too so I know some of his friends no longer need to use one but he's quite slight so probably better for him.

His 6 year old brother is quickly catching up in height and is generally a sturdier build so I can imagine stopping using one sooner with him as long as it's legal.

I stopped quite early around 8 years old at most with my now 10 year old but well over height limit as way above average height. Keeping DC 2 in a high back booster as long as possible as very average height and a very wriggly child.

I agree loads of people take their kids out of them early. I used to see much younger (definitely less than 130cm tall) kids being picked up without them all the time at primary school. Some were not even wearing a seatbelt. But that didn't really seem relevant to my decision. My two are small for their age and had them 2 years longer than friends.

Can I ask which rear facing seat you have, please? I’m a big fan of erf but couldn’t find anything that long-lasting.

It depends on their height. My eldest is 8 and only uses a booster for longer car journeys. We don't bother around town. Same as all her friends.
I don't know who all these 8 year olds are with high backed car seats...I've never met one.

My 7 year old is 136cm, the idea of her not using her seat also seems weird to me, I want her to stay in it till she grows out of it but I can see this topic coming up over the next few years. It makes me really uncomfortable seeing younger/shorter kids sitting in the front seat with just a seatbelt on (have seen a few times on school run).

Honestly I'd say it's a personal choice. If your daughter meets all the requirements to not be in the car seat anymore but you feel safer with her in it, she's not outgrown it, and she's happy to stay in it, then continue using it. No harm done.

My almost 9 year old is 148cm and we've just started trialing short journeys without the car seat. He seems much happier and comfier without it. He has ASD and getting him in a car seat or even the booster cushion has always been like a form of torture! I'm hoping car journeys will be smoother for us now.

I had short girls, they reached 135cm at age 11. Most girls were taller than them so by 9/10 they will have reached the height.

We had to switch DS to an HBB earlier than I would have liked as he’s over the 100th centile for height and over the limit for 5 point harness. At just turned 7, he’s already over the height for requiring a car seat but will be staying in the HBB for as long as I can feasibly cram him into it!

I was about to contribute til the "don't give a shit" comment.

I know I keot my son in a seat much longer than his friends. However, his friends were all about 6 inch bigger than him (and still are at 13). I think he was y5, when we stopped. It was hard, as we frequently took friends for days out.

I have an Axkid One limit of 125cm or 23kg which ever comes first and an Axkid minikid old type so will fit until headrest doesn't fit or 25kg.

Most of the new seat go to 125cm or 36kg. Besafe, axkid and Britax are good brands to look at.

My daughter is about 1 metre tall and 15kg at 4 years old, so not the biggest. So she has a while left going by her red book. Going by her red book the Axkid One might expire before outgrown as its got an 8 year lifespan.